They weren’t designed for it, but man can those turrets sing!
By xfreischutz
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on May 4, 2012 · 11:58 AM
  (196 votes, average: 4.69 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Artistic, Dramatic, Musical, Portal, Robots, Valve Software · Leave a comment (61 Comments) |
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61 Responses to “APERTURE SYMPHONIC ORCHESTRA”
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it! (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5)
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
You have no idea how much I'd pay to have an army of singing turrets.
<img src="http://brokecomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Klingon-Opera.jpg" alt="Klingon Opera" />
It would all depend on what they sing. And how they do it. If they use the cries and agony of the victims they slay, I'm in.
Shawn, you of all people should know this best. Aperture Science products never work for the goal they were designed for.
At least it's not Vogon poetry.
Special appearance by the Animal King.
Oh freddled gruntbuggly thy micturations are to me/ As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,/ Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!
<img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2210/2252579214_fd25a2b556_n.jpg">
Honestly, I'd pay money and lots of it to hear live turret opera.
<img src="http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/264/241/9e9.gif">
But screams of pain just don't have the same feel to them as a nice, electronic chime.
Maybe for percussion.
Time to kill the joke with facts!
The woman responsible for the voice of GLaDOS, Ellen McLain, was previously an Amerian opera singer
OH GOD THE PAIN!!!
I CHOOSE THE SWEET VACUUM OF SPACE!
As much as I love a good Opera now and then ( Because I'm a classy MoFo like that)
I do have to say that I prefer the *ahem* "A Cappella" version
I shall pay you a link rel="nofollow">
And shall now be on my way
ͼ̀_́ᶐ
Cave Johnson Here:
Now I know that Aperture Science is known for giving you, the consumer, the best science that money can buy, but why stop at just science? Did Galileo stop with "just science"? No! He painted the Mona Lisa and built the Sistine Chapel with that Science. So I give you Aperture Science's Arts and Culture Division. We think that we should bring something to culture that's been lacking since Shakespeare wrote the Divine Comedy: Science. If we can get a foothold on all of this culture stuff that the lab boys keep telling me that they are missing because of the 80 hour work weeks, then I say let's get it done and make sure those Black Mesa monkeys don't have any.
And as a value to you, the consumer, I'd like to point out that any cultural Aperture Science Productions will be 100% Lab Boy Free. Yes, we intend to keep our lab boys from dirtying up any of your cultural experience with their lab grease and the remnants of any current Aperture Science laboratory tests. Yes sir, you won't be seeing any monkey tails in your theater. We'll make sure of it. Which reminds me…
*Intercom*
Which one of you lab boys was the one to grow the tail? Send him up to my office so that we can figure out how the hell you managed to do it. We want more monkey-men.
*Looks back up*
You're Still here? Well, make sure that you spend as much as you can on any new Aperture Science Arts and Culture Division products, so that Black Mesa can't.
Cave Johnson. We're Done Here
Hey guys, have you seen this new hair gel? It's made from the moon!
…why are there red dots everywhere.
Space? SPACE? SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
<img src="http://www.ballardian.com/images/statue_planet.jpg">
you and your logic! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
We seem to be using this a lot recently.
Really? I bought a turret from them and it shot me plenty of times. Just as I expected it to. I'm starting to wonder why I bought that thing.
She can't be trusted, she's an Amerian spy brought in to sabotage valve and undermine our great country!
THAT MANIAC! HE RUINED THE JOKE!
I couldn't care less if I get a batch from the chamber of robots that scream at you, any turret is better than none.
Any aperture turret.
No exceptions.
It won't end until the woman with a higher end weight variance sings, and seeing as how Chell's mute…
It works anywhere.
And if no one claims the money, I'll be more than happy to take it off of your hands.
American* Ach, typo!
We've overused that and all it's countless variants, but I'm still glad he didn't use the Bruce Willis reaction face.
I've never heard of Amer… is the weather there nice?
They might want to consider turning the turrets away from the audience.
You know… just in case.
To conserve ammo they will sing, "Baby" "Friday" and of course "Hot problems"
If you would like to be able to relax while your enemies are blown to bits listen to "Twinkle, Twinkle, little star" Or "Ave Maria"
What if someone got covered in conversion gel. Does that mean you can shoot a portal ON them :O?
Ask valve if they need writers :>
Yeah. it's right by the country of What.
I was planning on going to What on vacation!
Do they speak English there?
They do, in fact. And their chief exports are Royales with cheese.
AN AMERICAN SPY IS IN THE BASE??
*grabs shotgun*
I have a friend from what, her name is you.
At least it's not Salarian singing!
I heard that Chell can is going to do an amazing aria on stage for 8 minutes, can't wait to hear it!
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/rvtfv.gif">
You are the best Cave Johnson.
PROTECT THE TEST RESULTS!
"WE NEED TO PROTECT THE TEST RESULTS!"
NOBODY'S GOING TO SPACE, MATE!
Featuring "This is Aperture", "My Little Portal", "I Only Want You Gone", and "If I was a Core."
And I wonder why I got -1 from +2…
Oh wait. Pony haters. :|
Maybe its not about ponies, maybe its because all your comments are reaction images and nothing more, maybe its because you keep repeating the same images or small variations of them, maybe its because people are tired of big comment pages because of the number of unrelated images loaded
Maybe it's all of that
Is it just me or is there a -1 troll around here?
I'll help.
Haters gonna hate.
R.I.P. JOKE
YOU WILL BE MISSED
YOU COURAGEOUS DAREDEVIL…
But however will the turrets face the people giving them the applause?! D:
Someone really doesn't like the idea of MasterLuigi commenting, with or without images.
Mmm… yes.. take the money… donate it to the poorer, discriminated Asians like me who suffers in his videogames…
I could fetch it for you right now :3
I got their IP addresses. Time to stalk them…
Interestingly enough, this comment got more hate than the one with the pony. I think they know you're onto them.
I was thinking the same thing. I donated some +1s. Here's hoping he'll make a full recovery.
That's…
That's amazing.
YOU are amazing.
Actually, the voice actress of Glados and the turrets is an opera singer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detai…
Bah. Your attempts at Vogonity have nothing on the poetic masterpieces of the Azgoths of Kria, particularly the verbal genius of Grunthos the Flatulent.
*ahem.*
Putty. Putty. Putty.
Green Putty -- Grutty Peen.
Grarmpitutty -- Morning!
Pridsummer -- Grorning Utty!
Discovery….. Oh.
Putty?….. Armpit?
Armpit….. Putty.
Not even a particularly
Nice shade of green-*GAAAAAAGH*
(Is killed as his small intestine leaps up his neck and throttles his brain in a desperate bid to save life and civilization)
WOW
you're really excited to go to glados orchestra
well anyways
Hey!!! I'm Asian too!!! *High five*