Commander Shepard, we tried to keep you as intact as possible...

We can rebuild him, make him stronger… but we don’t have a lot of money.
By theangryluddite

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on March 14, 2012 · 10:42 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (235 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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BioWare, Fashion Faux Pas, Mass Effect, PC, Playstation, Weird, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (60 Comments)


60 Responses to “we tried to keep you as intact as possible…”

  1. Squikker2001 on March 14th, 2012 10:45 am

    Yet they still went over budget.

  2. GazzyW007 on March 14th, 2012 10:47 am

    Shepard actually seems kinda happy about it all. Unlike that Jenson chap.

  3. Ovahdrive on March 14th, 2012 10:54 am

    Well, it's better than the ending I suppose…

  4. Dycro on March 14th, 2012 11:04 am

    They almost cut as many corners rebuilding Shepard as they did when they wrote the endings.

  5. Leo E. on March 14th, 2012 11:07 am

    You're better off turning the game off before the final choice and using your imagination to fill in the blanks.

    That's how bad it is.

  6. EliminatorZigma on March 14th, 2012 11:17 am

    Since when did Shepard become a Gmod model?

  7. Skrist on March 14th, 2012 11:29 am

    I never asked for this double post.

  8. Marzen on March 14th, 2012 11:30 am

    I was WONDERING where all the Mass Effect lolz were. Mass Effect 2 though? *sharp intake of breath* Unexpected.

  9. Valvatorez on March 14th, 2012 11:44 am

    Double post? What a shame

  10. Oddwan on March 14th, 2012 12:00 pm

    …close enough!

  11. TheAl41 on March 14th, 2012 12:00 pm

    I don't think anyone can take him seriously now.

  12. Eddshere on March 14th, 2012 12:02 pm

    "Bitch, PLEASE."

  13. invadingduck on March 14th, 2012 12:12 pm

    This is why you can't import every Shepherd into Mass Effect 3.

    It's the game's way of saying "NO! LORD GOD NO!"

  14. Hyze on March 14th, 2012 12:20 pm

    It's ok Shepard! Just like all of you feats and accomplishments, your face doesn't matter~

    …ugh I've never felt this bad over a game ending before.

  15. LitmusRemnantal on March 14th, 2012 12:23 pm

    He needs some of those Deus Ex shades, STAT!

  16. BTSnoogans on March 14th, 2012 12:28 pm

    Shepard is forever alone.

  17. SuperPinkiePie on March 14th, 2012 12:30 pm
  18. ibbolia on March 14th, 2012 12:35 pm

    1.Make joke about Mass Effect 3's ending.
    2. ???
    3. Profit.

  19. Armetron on March 14th, 2012 2:16 pm

    <img src=""&gt;

  20. vash_ts on March 14th, 2012 2:36 pm

    you are going too fast for me…
    I am still playing mass effect 1

  21. dope92 on March 14th, 2012 3:07 pm

    wait a minute.

    i thought sheppard got a sex change…

  22. Alpar on March 14th, 2012 3:12 pm

    What, no Halolz watermark?

  23. Rexxmech on March 14th, 2012 3:14 pm

    Actually we did have enough money, but we spent it on hookers and casinos.

  24. Skrist on March 14th, 2012 3:48 pm

    Well at least now he can't make his other face that he loves.
    <img src=""&gt;
    And for that, I'm thankful.

  25. BasketGT on March 14th, 2012 4:31 pm

    Is… is this the part where I'm supposed to laugh?

  26. Seanhl on March 14th, 2012 7:44 pm

    well, there are three endings, and NONE of your previous choices affect the outcome

  27. TehHoboGawd on March 14th, 2012 11:27 pm

    Not sure if imitating Fry from Futurama….

    Or if he's just trying to be the Forever Alone Guy… >_>

  28. Dark_Zoren on March 15th, 2012 1:19 am


  29. LitmusRemnantal on March 15th, 2012 3:27 am

    It's Arakune! Also, I vote second on the Ragna even with my doubts that it won't show up here.

  30. Paulrus-Keaton? on March 15th, 2012 3:44 am

    Why is Al Pacino his doctor?

  31. Omiley16 on March 15th, 2012 7:38 am

    That would look like a face that UberHaxorNova would have if he played ME2 :P

  32. TheProfessor234 on March 15th, 2012 1:09 pm

    There once was an ugly Commander Shepard.

    He was so ugly that everyone died.

    The end.

  33. Narbodi on March 16th, 2012 6:02 pm

    My only complaint: people don't seem to notice that THE ENTIRE GAME IS THE ENDING. From the start, you're dealing with the fact that the Reapers are already at Earth. The final battle starts in the opening cinematic.

    Your choices matter! AT THE MOMENT THAT YOU MAKE THEM! (Or slightly past that.) They're what get you to the end!

    People are so used to the first two games, which took your choices and made them count all at the end (moreso the second game), that they're blind to the way the choices change things DURING THE COURSE OF THE THIRD GAME.

    If you ever play a game looking forward to the end, you're only going to miss out on the journey there. I've been telling people this about MMOs for years, but it seems everyone else needs to start figuring that out too.

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