Who said the Thief class is useless in a serious fight?
By Dorkly
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on January 10, 2012 · 10:08 PM
  (174 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Final Fantasy, Nintendo DS, Rage Enducing, Retro, Sneak Attack, Square Enix, Video Clips, Weak Points · Leave a comment (119 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
I've got to start watching these more…
And Fighter seems VERY obsessed with chodes.
Too funny… no pictures can say anything… so here's this!!
<img src=http://i.imgur.com/sIV1Q.gif>
You could say the discovery of Chaos' private life was, for the heroes of light…..
*Puts on shades*
enlightening….
Yeah I dunno…I'm tired as all sin, and I was originally going to make a reference about saving the earth/universe and a pun involving that, but I couldn't be arsed to try and think of something along those lines while I was tired atm, so I went with what ya see here…
There was such a Sex as EVIL?
Then…..THEN……HOW DOES……*Mind Eruption*
Hi. My name is Alpar.
Some of you might know my for my commentary on this site. Some of you might just recognize me as an old friend. And some of you might not even know who I am. But that's irrelevant to the matter at hand.
Our dear friend Mr. Shawn Handyside has brought this video to our attention.
Everyday, countless endbosses are being harassed for their beliefs, characters, and even down to such trivial things like their design. And it's not just endbosses… even up to minibosses, secret bosses, or even the mook enemies, they are being harassed not only physically for experience points, but emotionally for everything they have to offer.
But with just one click… you can make all the difference…
For every time you click that thumbs up next to my comment, you can help save the psychological development of a poor Japanese RPG creature in need. Only you can make the difference!
…*answers phone*
(Okay, so seriously… the condom was past expiration by HOW LONG?)
Dear Mom,
JRPG heroes are dicks.
Love,
Chaos
I guess thats the only way they could have ever hoped to beat chaos without upgraded classes.
*ahem*
*Therman
there fixed it for you
I couldn't fully enjoy this video because I have no idea what a chode is.
That's what Google is for!
For the Moogles! +1
I think it's a Gen V pokemon.
Thank you kind sir.
I don't know if you could tell, but I'm not a huge JRPG fan.
That thief is fine & dandy, but no thief is as great as rel="nofollow"> Nimble. He can steal the pants (literally) off of a guy, and then kill ANOTHER guy with a Ballista!!!
relevant(ish) rel="nofollow">
winning! good sir
Every time I see a Final Fantasy I post I get 8-Bit Theater running through my head and can't stop thinking about how awesome it is.
I stick by Jing. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jing:_King_of_Bandit…
The thief is useless? Says who? From what I seen in the video, the black mage had less hp than the thief. So… there is always spamming potions for the thief. :D
I'm not sure… if they keep making characters like Kefka, I'd be pretty satisfied with that.
Plus I do not believe there is so much harassing to JRPG characters compared to this…
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQY1a_y2Ooi9MoxaxbTUjYqWzJzrkBIOuZBMI5nhtg3uq_4BHEemA">
I'm honestly still not fulling believing this is Dante, seems more like Nero to me. :P
Also, so we are clear, I got more beef over him smoking than his stupid hair.
Them things bad for ya Dante.
EDIT: Now that I am looking at it, HE HAS A FUCKING BRITISH FLAG ON HIS SLEEVE! THE FUCK IS NINJA THEORY DOING?!
JRPG heroes are why we can't have nice things.
Wait, wouldn't his name be Garland?
oh alpar saving the end bosses (swoon)
white mage should heal black mage
And then you have FFTA, where legal stealing targets include people's weapons, trinkets, clothing, and memories. But not shoes; you can steal a suit of armor of a lizard-man's back, but not the shoes off his feet. Nothing cracks the game in half quite as satisfyingly as stealing the memories out of their brains and the swords out of their hands.
+1s
You can have all of them.
I don't play or know much about Final Fantasy series, but this sure was a one hell of an entertainment.
Bravo Dorkly. Bravo.
They don't keep making enemies like Kefka. There's the problem.
Cost of keeping a rogue in the party… 50% of treasure
Large Bag of Holding to keep his share of the treasure… 10,000 gp
Making a god of entropy and slaughter cry… Priceless
There are some things in Faerun that gp can't buy… for everything else, there's glibness.
As a master of the great art of verbal abuse, I can say that Chaos behaved like his ego was made of toilet paper and shitty fake china ceramic. The toilet paper was likely moistened with his tears of sorrow from knowing inwardly how utterly worthless he was and the china was probably cracked from rattling around in his stupid, empty, pathetic skull all that time.
The heroes of light showed the abusive capacity of an in-the-closet fratboy (like any of them exist out of the closet), which roughly equates to the combat capacity of a quadriplegic infant.
The thief needed a reagent like the victims personal effects for such a lowly cantrip as name calling? Disgusting. Though I will give them credit, they used their powers for good. Ending existence is way too clichéd a method of evil for it to be any good, and I personally think that those who try to destroy the world are compensating for something.
That kind does say something.
I'm just not sure what.
Just look at all the insults they left on Sephiroth's Facebook page. I wouldn't be surprised if he went out and killed someone's girlfriend.
Oh wait…
Jokes on them, they don't get his drops!
I think it's a representation of how Skyrim jokes were built up so much, but then everyone got tired of them and the joke started to crumble; until eventually the entire idea collapsed in a dust cloud of un-funniness.
It's truly poetic when you think about it.
Ice_cold_water is one of the greatest artists of our time.
Someone once mentioned a chode while we were all hanging out. On an offhand comment right afterwards, I had mentioned, "You guys are making me hungry". Worst timing ever.
A chode is apparently a very short fat penis.
Son of a Submariner, what've they done to Dante?!
That wasn't very nice! I, GARLAND, WILL HAVE TO KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN!
Now Luigi, I'm real happy for ya, and I'mma let you finish…
To be fair I thought it was a funny picture :D *pat pat*
He changed into Chaos at the end of the game *SPOILERS*
Wait, spoilers? On a game that's turning 15 this year? Oh fuck you guys.
God damnit Ninja Theory, get rid of that flag. We don't want him either!
Anyone who didn't already know Garland is Chaos must be 2000 years in the past.
Oh fuck time loop
The stereotype comes from the original NES version of Final Fantasy. The thief was woefully underpowered in the glitch-filled first FF. In Dawn of Souls, which corrected a lot of errors, the Thief was made much more powerful, actually having the higher Acc. stat he was supposed to.
No time stability for you, Warriors of Light!
Yup. At least they're at a proper level, looking at their health, but they have to be getting the shit beaten out of them.
<img src="http://i1208.photobucket.com/albums/cc375/CriticalQuit/PrincessSara.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket">
It's a derogatory term. Chaos is being insulted.
He has a Union Jack, and Ninja Theory are British.
I have now come to the conclusion that this is actually a fan character recolour a lá Sonic the Hedgehog made by these guys and when they were asked to make the game they put him in.
I shall now call him Scarlet the Swordguy. ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL
You should only put pizza in your mouth. Or lasange. Lasange ciggarettes are good for you though. Man, I really want lasagne now.
I thought it was the space in between your Digglet and your Shellder.
Fake wallet… 800gp.
Pictures of random female deities… 30% of followers.
Acting lessons… the soul of a thespian.
Getting the party of legend to believe they have vanquished you through humiliation… priceless.
There are some things in eternity that gold can't buy. For everything else, there's the satisfaction of knowing you're now immortal.
Therefore FF characters are actually Bobo Dolls.
I SHALL KNOCK YOU DOWN! *bops one and it bounces back up*
… I SHALL KNOCK YOU DOWN! *bops one and it bounces back up*
and repeat ad nauseum.
Yo, Marzen, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let YOU finish, but WALUIGI TIME.
Funny you should mention that…
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR-dHjvvxN_bl6QY4gmPGIEAGMpBm1xVEftu40nfdiJNcMlcG81">
Because it basically is a fan character, made by the lead developer…
*That is when Skrist put himself into a coma from too many facepalms*
Well you see… once a month, women-
No that's a gooch (if that's how you spell it?).
Yo dawg, we heard you like to let people finish, so we put an Xhibit in yo Kanye, so you can go deeper with references while you meme c-c-c-combo breaker.
Actually women are evil.
Women = Time and Money
But time is money, therefore Women = Money²
Money is the root of all evil, therefore Money = √Evil
Ergo, Women = √Evil²
Simplified, we get Women = Evil.
rel="nofollow">You win for making the best explanation I have ever seen.
P.S.
Apparently you look a lot like my girlfriend.
Suddenly, FOREST IMPS!
*Bows as roses are thrown on to stage*
Thank you, thank you, you're too kind!
Most tragically, his Girlfriend is only glad to illustrate the fact that they are both in a…. mutual….. relationship….. sans beneficial benefits.
Well, I figured that much.
His sex is "Evil", so what's she?
I mean, what's shcle?
Please. I go with 8BT's Thief. He can steal through TIME.
I thought that was your taint?
Final boss.
Drops.
What?
Read that as "BOOB dolls". It became really funny when they bounced.
I seriously considered making five or so more accounts, just to thumb you up more, thought you'd like to know
Unfortunately the Steal command wasn’t invented until FF3.
now if only all of college humor could be this funny
well… in my experience with rpg's, if they have a playable epilogue, the end bosses drop some awesome stuff
I don't know whether to hate you because I believe 100% in equality, or laugh my ass off because your explanation was insane troll logic that actually is followable and makes sense in a round about way
well could I arse you to try again
am I the only one who imagines that a spy did this, they always leave their sappers around everywhere, and that certainly is a building
Not all of Dorkly's submission isn't funny.
Like the time the Christmas message from Dorkly submission.
Plus, this submission was funny as the video above.
Well I know what a chode is, but what I don't know is what a choode is.
They got it from the FPS kids on XBOX LIVE.
I do not know any JRPGs with playable epilogues, all I see are some with NEW GAME PLUS.
Now please, enlighten me. O_O
That latter. This is by no means my actual opinion on the sexes. In fact, it'd be funny to see if someone made a similar equation for men.
Nah, their grammar is too good for that.
…..Wow….
I facepalmed so hard that I floored myself backwards out of my chair, over the low bookcase behind me, and into a pile of novels I hadn't sorted into my library.
(The above is hyperbole for me actually falling out of my chair by leaning back and facepalming at that)
Thanks for the positive feedback. You and everyone else too. Didn't think my comment would be liked so much…
<img src="http://i.cubeupload.com/4JyfBI.jpg">
<img src="http://funnygif.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/1298539694536.gif" height="176" width="312">
Right, they also don't shout profanity, and insult each others mums.
I kinda figured, just another opportunity to say I find this hysterical while still being somewhat pc
she would, but he's a sick fuck who won't stop hitting on her, in fact, she clubbed him 50 health with a mallet
Very Good use of NPH. +1 for you, and for all of the abused rpg characters out there.
I can't let you meme that, Chaos
Let's let the internet decide.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ch…
Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffflowers.
From this day forward, he is not British. He is now….. erm, crap I don't know.
Will a "douche" count?
Chode is the outcome of a total shrink ray accident.
That may be true for some but not Final Fantasy. Unless they did that in one of the remakes, in which case I wouldn't know about that.
You forgot this: ;)
That face once again haunts my nightmares.
My sexy, sexy nightmares.
Ka-BEWWWWWWMMMM!!!
Speaking of this I heard this conversation on Xbox live.
Kid 1: Stop camping like a little bitch!
Kid 2:Shut up! I'll snipe you.
Kid 1: I'll snipe your mom with my dick
Things like this made me quit Xbox live, what has this generation come to?
Samus cares about STDs, but she doesn't care about having babies. Interesting…….
Deductive logic: BTSnoogans has it.
Douche isn't the right word.
Just because he's got a job as a game developer, doesn't mean he's any different than us. I did game development (In between jobs because all the Creative Developer openings are out of state and I lost my 3D design portfolio in a computer crash) and I'm a person too. I have fandom for some series, and hatred for others like anybody does.
Any sufficiently derogatory words you'd aim at someone who does what this video makes fun of: rel="nofollow">
will suffice as a suitable name. Actually because he's a game developer you need to be extra harsh. Making a fan-made expy into canon material is disgusting.
Indeed. rel="nofollow">
What's worse, they somehow managed to mangle the story of a game that is known for a focus on gameplay. How?
DANTE IS HALF-ANGEL IN THEIR GAME.
It's like they really don't give a fuck.
And where the fuck are Red Mage and Dragoon?
To be fair, the decade before the last one had the whole skater thing which was basically where all the Xbox Live kids would be in had they been born back then (and douchebaggery combined with stupidity was seen so often before that by "jocks" that the stereotype still is made fun of).
In other words, it seems that one group must always carry this torch, a valuable lesson we must learn in order to know who to quarantine for the sake of the rest of the human race.
Not to mention that he stole a class change, at the precise moment it would most inconvenience the person he stole from (himself, always the hardest target for any thief since they know you're planning it).
Yes, I did just dip into the logic of that comic. It's like looking into the eyes of one of those Lovecraftian horrors.
I will help you quarantine them if you let me use them for my little science experiments. You can never have enough test subjects.
The best science experiment is always fire, hands down.
<img src="http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/smiles/orson_welles_clap.gif">
Could not have said it better myself.
It's nearly as same as the concept of giving Mario to Epic Games, it won't work out good.
(I have nothing wrong with EG, by the by, it's just an analogy.)
HERE'S THE KICKER: They decided to do one of the laziest fucking writing strategies…. wait for it…. PARALLEL DIMENSION!!
FFS NINJA THEORY, IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TRY TO MAKE A DEVIL MAY CRY REMAKE YOU COULD HAVE JUST SAID!
I think it is considered a hate crime too…
So wait, Chaos is a woman?
Possibly? Although Chaos did have a condom…perhaps Chaos is gender-confused.
And he doesn't make stupid mistakes like "Leave anything that's nailed down and on fire" or "Not have lawyer ninjas".
Shit, this picture is another part of the fallout of Other M, isn't it?