A retrospective: Valve games: then & now

Everyone keeps wondering what the hold up is on Episode 3… when the sad truth is they’re still trying to get the rainbow clown-wig physics juuuust right.
By John Kleckner [Hejibits], submitted by toadking07

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 23, 2011 · 9:40 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (205 votes, average: 4.52 out of 5)
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Artistic, Bad Ideas, Fashion Faux Pas, Half-Life, Irony, Portal, Robots, Secret Items, Sequential Art, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software

· Leave a comment (63 Comments)


63 Responses to “Valve Games: Then & Now”

  1. Hakokoro on December 23rd, 2011 9:48 am

    I dont inuderstand the joke with Portal 2 only.It's not like it got worse,only better comapred to two in terms of gameplay.And you can goof a litte,nothing ridiculous like the other 2 examples… wait you came here expecting a joke?Alright,let me se…Valve cant count to 3.there.

  2. DTurboKiller on December 23rd, 2011 9:53 am

    I knew it, it's a Hat Conspiracy!

  3. TheInsaneWombat on December 23rd, 2011 9:53 am

    Meh, that's fine. I kinda wish Valve would take over real life. Hats everywhere! Respawning! Weapons falling from the sky!

  4. VoiceFromCorner on December 23rd, 2011 9:58 am

    No matter how good the future is, the past is always better.

  5. therandombear on December 23rd, 2011 10:17 am

    >Implying I wouldn't play a game where I wear a clown wig with a headcrab inside.

    I Totally would!

  6. Psycroc on December 23rd, 2011 10:18 am

    Gabe Newell said "There will be something with a 3 in it announced at E3 this year"

    Inb4 the disappointment that will be Left 4 Dead 3

  7. Ovahdrive on December 23rd, 2011 10:21 am

    Pffft, little did you know, that's what you actually looked like in Half Life 2.

    Edit: On a side note, why is there a banner for a "One Click Roman Orgy" to the right. Not that I'm complaining, I'm a fan of ancient cultures and their mating rituals, but this seems a bit odd.

  8. TheSpaceCore on December 23rd, 2011 10:29 am

    WAIT. People actually BUY those things in Portal 2? What madness is this?!

  9. Hareoic on December 23rd, 2011 10:36 am

    They should just give you an option to build your own hat fortress in Hat Fortress 2 and show it off on Steam or something. Some people proooobably have enough hats to actually do that.

  10. Hareoic on December 23rd, 2011 10:36 am

    They should just give you an option to build your own hat fortress out of all your hats from every Valve game you own in Hat Fortress 2, and show it off on Steam or something. Some people proooobably have enough hats to actually do that.

  11. Banjo7J on December 23rd, 2011 11:02 am

    And I thought Halolz was slow in putting stuff up before. This is nearly 8 months old.

  12. ibbolia on December 23rd, 2011 1:32 pm

    …and now I need that hat.

  13. PortalMan118 on December 23rd, 2011 1:51 pm

    You forgot the ridiculousness that was Ellis in L4D2.

  14. CriticalQuit on December 23rd, 2011 1:51 pm

    You could do this with Saints Row 2 and Saints Row the Third.

    To quote Yahtzee, "Saints Row the Third drinks wackazade from a clown shoe."

  15. Drjolt on December 23rd, 2011 1:54 pm

    Hats make everything better. Even Big Rigs : Off The Road Racing. Which was basically unplayable after release.

  16. TomQuoVadis on December 23rd, 2011 1:56 pm

    Hey this isn't such a bad thing; maybe one of the hats will be Gordon Freeman's helmet.

  17. HughbertEsq on December 23rd, 2011 2:39 pm

    Hey, at least there gonna be PUTSCHing back at all the constant Horribi-Fuckus colour scheme of modern Shooters.
    Also Chrome doesn't recognise the spelling of "colour", come now America…

  18. k3man on December 23rd, 2011 2:46 pm

    Dota 2: Extreme Hat Edition now for 69.99!!!!

  19. GanjalfTheGreen on December 23rd, 2011 4:37 pm

    So that's why ep3 is delayed. They're designing the most wicked, awesomesauce hats in history for it! All is forgiven now, Gabe.

  20. SirNumel on December 23rd, 2011 4:50 pm

    Valve -- The Ministry of Silly Hats.

  21. NotB0b on December 23rd, 2011 6:54 pm

    Damn my AUSTRALIAN time zone. All the good jokes are taken. Oh well, we get Christmas a day early :D

  22. vash_ts on December 23rd, 2011 7:29 pm

    uhh, the rainbow wig just kills it for me…

  23. EonofAeon on December 23rd, 2011 9:32 pm

    Is it just me, or has everyone else gotten kinda tired of the item craze in TF2…? It's nice, but the crates are even more insulting this year, and they just keep adding more and more and more items…Do they even balance anymore?

    Also, I seriously hope HL3 doesn't use any of that stupid ass 'store's hit from P2 and TF2…Its like every game they make is a 'test platform to try whacky shit on so we can add it to the next game'…I loved P1, I enjoyed P2. I LOVED L4D1, I enjoyed L4D2. I LOVED TF2….at first…but now….
    Dear Game Gods, Please let the Half Life series remain pure D:

  24. ReploidArmada on December 24th, 2011 11:47 am

    Bounty Hat? Pssh. Real Demopans use flaming stunt helmets.

  25. VJoe10[8] on December 24th, 2011 2:24 pm


  26. penguindude42 on December 25th, 2011 10:11 pm

    Panel 6: Kitty face! =3

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