I love Skyrim’s advanced character customization tools! So realistic!
By chrisc098

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 16, 2011 · 4:09 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (250 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5)
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Bethesda, Irony, PC, Playstation, Shields Up, The Elder Scrolls, Too Much Free Time, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (54 Comments)



  1. Dycro on November 16th, 2011 4:12 am

    Get awesome sets of armor.

    Play entire game in first person.

  2. BasketGT on November 16th, 2011 4:18 am

    Jokes on you, chrisc098. I wear a hat!

  3. CriticalQuit on November 16th, 2011 6:54 am

    Fus Ro D'oh!

  4. Krah Klo Zaan on November 16th, 2011 7:16 am

    But hats are signs of wealth. Would you want to look poor and Orcish while being killed by a Giant?

  5. VT_Juju_Man on November 16th, 2011 7:19 am

    Spend an hour creating character.

    Start again when you realise you don't like the skin colour.

  6. Niteclaw1028 on November 16th, 2011 8:09 am

    Kill dragon easily

    Get mauled to death by bears

  7. Mentlegen on November 16th, 2011 8:23 am

    Both Redfield with that Skyrim helmet and with a basket were already made…

    Quickly Halolzers, what should we do for this one?

  8. Shatman on November 16th, 2011 9:30 am

    So, I'm trying to visit my uncle who works at the docks in Riften, when suddenly I find I'm scheduled to be executed for crossing the border without papers. Just as my head hits the block, I hear this roar, and a motherfucking DRAGON just swoops down and fries the hell out of everyone present. This nice Nord guard helps me up, and we run into a keep. I go through, rescuing some of his friends and I still have no idea where the hell I am. I don't have a single Septim to my name, and he makes me fight a fucking bear for his amusement. He tells me to go talk to his sister, who sends me up to Whiterun to get help for the village. The Yarl, or whatever the hell these Nords call it, asks me to do him a favor, and I accept, not knowing what it is. Turns out it's slaying a dragon. While his troops that were supposed to help chase after a goat, I start frying it with flames since I'm a wizard and all. Anyway, after slaying it and eating its soul, I decide "To hell with this!" and head up to Winterhold because I heard there's a bunch of other wizards there. Maybe they can whip me up some fake passports? Somehow I got roped into enrolling in their college. At least it's free, right?

    Anyway, after I journey into an archaeological dig, solving ancient puzzles, killing a lich, and retrieving the single most impressive find in all of magical history, researching it, murder some folks over an overdue book at the request of the librarian, I'm still just an apprentice. I roll with it and keep working. When I get back, some monk stops time (I should have asked him to teach me how) and tells me to seek the Augur of Dulain. I find an omniscient well, and it tells me to find the staff of some long-dead wierdo that was last seen in some Dunmer's museum in Tribunal over two hundred years ago. I go through some old Dwemer ruins, getting shredded by their millenia-old robots and the Falmer that have taken up residence down there, and I find out the reason I'm here is a freaking observatory.

    I scream, headbutt the guy working it, take his research notes, and head back to the College to let them know I've got their freakin' information. I discover that without me to solve their problems, the clearly evil elf has activated my archaeological find and the apocalypse has begun. Facepalming, I help them break the barrier using basic Destruction. Maybe they shouldn't have been firing Restoration spells at it. Anyway, we break through, and begin frying the evil elf. He knocks us outside, and the Archmage breaks his neck on impact with the stone outside. Resisting the temptation to take his robes, his girlfriend or something gives me a key to the location of the staff I need to stop the Elfpocalypse. I head out to the dungeon, and guess what's waiting for me inside?

    A freaking skeletal dragon and his skeleton friends and THEIR skeletal friends and their Draugr roommates and their Ghost third cousins and of course ANOTHER. FUCKING. LICH. This one's yelling at me in Dragonish though. Anyway, I wreck his shit by clubbing him over the head with a hammer until he can't talk anymore and I steal his mask. It smells a little corpsey, but it looks awesome, so I put it on. I grab the staff and head back to Winterhold, shouting my hatred of the dead all the way.

    Long story short, I prevented Elfaggedon and the time-travelling monk shows up with some friends and STEALS MY FIND. He says the world isn't ready for it so they'll just take it. Bullshit. Anyway, for the fact I am the only member who took any initiative in the matter, I was made Archmage. I decide the cirriculum. I decide the budget. I get shit done.

    I'm Burns-His-Foes the Argonian, and I am the 1%. I got here by working. You can too, but only if you can get a job.

    We need someone on hand to kill undead, if you're interested. We seem to have an infestation in the basement.

  9. ProfessorLuigi on November 16th, 2011 9:31 am

    *grabs sasha*
    I'm in.

  10. Armetron on November 16th, 2011 9:32 am

    looks at advice from submission, equips the Spine-Chilling skull to all classes in TF2

  11. TheArrived on November 16th, 2011 4:48 pm

    But I don't…wear…helmets….

    They give me helmet hair.

  12. _XD on November 16th, 2011 7:56 pm

    Waste hours making your awesome character in the virtual world.
    Have a badass horse beat you in every aspect.

  13. JboneDRS on November 17th, 2011 5:01 am

    Losing the fight? Start shouting…

  14. Seanhl on November 17th, 2011 8:11 am

    Joke's on you, I use light armor

  15. cantimon on November 17th, 2011 10:11 am

    Thats why I dont where a helmet

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