BORRIS - BADASS HORSE

Physics? Bitch, I'm a horse

Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe… maybe. I’ve yet to meet one that can outsmart horse.
Comic by noiplah, submitted by Emily Carlsen.
Screenshot by Emperorr, captioned by Nik [M!NiCR!T]

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 15, 2011 · 11:18 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (558 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5)
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Categories:
Bethesda, Here There Be Dragons, Highly Illogical Captain, PC, Playstation, Science/Math, Sequential Art, The Elder Scrolls, The Great Outdoors, Things Are Heating Up, Wild Animals, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (101 Comments)





 

101 Responses to “BORRIS – BADASS HORSE”

  1. VyseRogueKing on November 15th, 2011 11:24 am

    Borris better stop horsin' around because he's dragon down my suspension of disbelief.

    My god that was horrible. BUt I could have thrown in a tvtropes link as well so be thankful. XP

  2. Marzen on November 15th, 2011 11:28 am

    Man, Borris' Human is awful! He's not even doing anything, he's just there watching Borris in awe!

    Hey, Human! Stop horsing around!

  3. fmarulz on November 15th, 2011 11:29 am

    http://lookatmyhorsemyhorseisamazing.com/

    didn´t need to make it shorter as the name of the website states exactly how I feel.

  4. Marzen on November 15th, 2011 11:30 am

    Yurgh, people and their awful puns! When I'm through wit'chu, boy, yer gonna be so horse-

    Aw fuck I did it too.

  5. Nick Soapdish on November 15th, 2011 11:30 am

    Borris is so cool he actually makes you buy DLC horse armour for him and then doesn't wear it anyway.

  6. Armetron on November 15th, 2011 11:35 am

    Well there is nothing wrong with puns unless they are extremely terrible, then that just makes them a jack-

    Dammit now you made me do it.

  7. Armetron on November 15th, 2011 11:37 am

    Gentlemen, Behold I give you Borris, the gravity horse
    by using the same technology as gravity cat he is now able to climb almost vertical cliffs.
    the only side affect is that he is not amused by any dragon and tends to exert his rage on them.

  8. Hareoic on November 15th, 2011 11:39 am

    Boris vs. Agro. Who wins?

  9. Niteclaw1028 on November 15th, 2011 11:46 am

    Even physics bows to Borris.

  10. Shady Kitsune on November 15th, 2011 11:46 am

    "Buck physics, I'm a horse!"

  11. Ernac on November 15th, 2011 11:50 am

    Dem hillside physics remind me of Mount & Blade.

    You will never know joy until you are trotting along at a brisk pace on the 90* angle of a cliff.

  12. Numberplay on November 15th, 2011 11:54 am

    Just waiting for the Chris Redfield joke.

  13. Skrist on November 15th, 2011 12:05 pm

    Breaking physics. Where have I seen that before?
    <img src="http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/halolz-dot-com-sonic4-hatersgonnahate.gif"&gt;
    Now the horse just needs to run a 360 loop and grind on rails. Either that or Sonic should learn how to carry people from place to place.

  14. Lord_Science on November 15th, 2011 12:19 pm

    This is mah horse
    Mah horse is amazing…

  15. HughbertEsq on November 15th, 2011 12:26 pm

    Epona

  16. HughbertEsq on November 15th, 2011 12:29 pm

    But will it Blend?
    Probably not…
    Boris Blends BlendTec Blenders with Blinding Blazes of Ballsiness

  17. Shatman on November 15th, 2011 12:42 pm

    Borris is so cool the horse armor DLC is free if it's for him.

  18. MasterLuigi452 on November 15th, 2011 12:45 pm

    Bitch, I'm top tier.

  19. GameboyPATH on November 15th, 2011 12:48 pm

    Sorry, Epona, you have been replaced.

  20. straYDoubter on November 15th, 2011 12:49 pm

    Strange. I see horses, but no backlash from the Halolzians. Have we made a breakthrough?

  21. Kevvo on November 15th, 2011 12:50 pm
  22. minicrit on November 15th, 2011 12:53 pm

    Hey, I'm the Nik credited in the text at the end of the post, I'm just here to give credit where credit is due:
    Borris the Badass Horse:
    Created by: Noiplah (http://www.reddit.com/user/noiplah) as seen in this thread: http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/mb6bh/the

    The "Physics? Bitch I'm a horse" picture:
    Created by : Emperorr (http://www.reddit.com/user/Emperorr) as seen in this thread (http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/ma565/bethesda_we_need_to_talk_about_your_horse_physics/)

    As much as I love the click-throughs, I can't take credit for either of these images!

  23. androidneo on November 15th, 2011 1:00 pm

    If Chuck Norris had a horse, I think that horse would be Borris.

  24. Mentlegen on November 15th, 2011 1:03 pm

    <img src="http://rq87.flyingomelette.com/HNK/1/85/ken-oh.jpg"&gt;

    This submission pleases Ken-Oh. Yes, that's how Raoh looks like when he is pleased…or in any other moment.

    It's great to see Kokuoh's little brother having fun.

  25. Niteclaw1028 on November 15th, 2011 1:16 pm

    Borris is so cool the DLC armor comes with him.

  26. TomQuoVadis on November 15th, 2011 1:29 pm

    Nobody has posted a pony yet.

  27. Oddwan on November 15th, 2011 1:34 pm

    I think the equation we're looking at here is the following:
    Badass Horse =/= Little Ponies

  28. Dimomarg on November 15th, 2011 1:38 pm

    borris has a field of badassery so strong, your light armor skill increases when he kicks trolls.

  29. Dimomarg on November 15th, 2011 1:40 pm

    Guys stop horsing around-
    DAMMIT

  30. TransPM on November 15th, 2011 1:45 pm

    Look at your screen, now at your man, now back at your screen… I'M ON A HORSE
    Now look at the horse, look down, look back up… IT'S CLIMBING A MOUNTAIN

  31. misterz100 on November 15th, 2011 1:47 pm

    Best horse in all of equ…I mean Skyrim ^ ^

  32. Shawn Handyside on November 15th, 2011 2:00 pm

    Follow up to my original line:
    Who touched Borris? WHO TOUCHED MY HORSE?

  33. Deep Thought on November 15th, 2011 2:01 pm

    Obviously, this horse has a honey badger for a father… It just don't give a fuck

  34. Jimmy on November 15th, 2011 2:15 pm

    Hay, hay, hay, hold your horses…ah buck, now you've got me doing it…

    <img src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/newsfeed/000/121/487/Applebloom brain full of pony.jpg?1318992465" width="400" length="400">

  35. GameboyPATH on November 15th, 2011 2:22 pm

    I'm not. The original comic was great, and the first few reaction shots were funny because they were still relevant to the comic, being recent at the time. Now, it doesn't even make sense anymore why we're still shopping that reaction face. For the e-peen? Shame.

  36. MeatyMcSausage on November 15th, 2011 2:33 pm

    horse have a history of fucking physics
    <img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llmi91JTBu1qiuukyo1_500.jpg"/&gt;

  37. Zyquux on November 15th, 2011 2:40 pm

    It's not just this horse, rel="nofollow">ALL the horses in Skyrim don't give a buck about physics.

  38. CriticalQuit on November 15th, 2011 2:45 pm

    One does not simply glitch into Skyrim.

  39. CakeBard on November 15th, 2011 2:45 pm

    Hurrrr, Imma Harbinger of Badassery… I mean, Horse.

  40. Captain Flavor on November 15th, 2011 2:46 pm

    in SONIC '06, he actually did have to carry a girl around.

  41. CakeBard on November 15th, 2011 2:47 pm

    Borris: Power Armor is for pussies!

  42. Ovahdrive on November 15th, 2011 2:59 pm

    I merely gave what the people asked for, and I stopped because I was receiving death threats.

  43. therandombear on November 15th, 2011 3:04 pm

    Borris IS the horse armour.

  44. meinmattias on November 15th, 2011 3:06 pm

    Physics? The video game world contains floating platforms. We never questioned them then, we ain't gonna question them now.

  45. Dracojounin7 on November 15th, 2011 3:07 pm

    I always found it more hilarious that being hit by a charging horse just made them fall down without their feet giving way so much as an inch…

  46. Dracojounin7 on November 15th, 2011 3:08 pm

    In fact, they're the exact opposite. Fuck 20% cooler, Borris is 9001% cooler.

  47. SirNumel on November 15th, 2011 3:11 pm

    Does it matter? Borris has already fucked them up.

  48. SirNumel on November 15th, 2011 3:14 pm

    He is… the most interesting horse in the world.

  49. Skrist on November 15th, 2011 3:26 pm

    Not on his back. Borris would've shown up Sonic by: keeping her safe, kicking Eggman's ass, then SAVING THE WORLD! All without the chaos emeralds as well.

  50. Skrist on November 15th, 2011 3:32 pm

    GRAVITY DENIED!

  51. Alpar on November 15th, 2011 3:37 pm

    Sonic 0 what? I think you're being crazy here.

    That never existed! It's just a myth like Unleashed!

  52. Alpar on November 15th, 2011 3:38 pm

    HnK FTW.

    Also, just for the record, watch that horse in the submission die. Kokuoh will shed manly tears like everyone else in the series at least once.

  53. emblemfan on November 15th, 2011 3:44 pm

    Must…not…post…ponies…
    Ah screw it http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpf633IrHE1qd7v
    There isn't room for two awesome horses on this site…

  54. GazzyW007 on November 15th, 2011 3:49 pm

    I suppose we could call him… Chuck Borris?

    OHGODSTOPKICKINGMEI'LLSTOPPLEASEHELPMESTOPNONONOO

  55. Captain Flavor on November 15th, 2011 3:53 pm

    That is true… In a recent documentary about Sonic I watched, they talked about Sonic Heroes, and then started talking about Sonic Colors. Guess nothing happened in between!

  56. Skrist on November 15th, 2011 3:56 pm
  57. HughbertEsq on November 15th, 2011 4:02 pm

    Yeah… Loftwings do have that annoying ability to… well… fly….

  58. penguindude42 on November 15th, 2011 4:23 pm

    LIKE A HORSE

  59. Sir_Nox on November 15th, 2011 4:40 pm

    When I made Hiss I knew it would happen. I got tired of it after my third one, which I believe was MegaMan and a joke of the Pedobear submission. Leave it to Halolz to run the joke into the ground, pulled a regular Courage Kratos.

  60. Drake148 on November 15th, 2011 4:40 pm

    "it's cost $4.000 to make this horse walks, for 12 seconds"

  61. Dimomarg on November 15th, 2011 5:11 pm

    Guys our pun train has been derailed, let's saddle up and-- FUCK!

  62. Darth_Destro on November 15th, 2011 5:27 pm

    Okay, now what have we learned?

  63. GazzyW007 on November 15th, 2011 5:30 pm

    THATNORRISISNOONETOMESSWITHMYSPIIINE

  64. Passerby Boy on November 15th, 2011 6:20 pm

    just wait until shawn posts a giant list of all the Chris Redfield faces.

  65. Passerby Boy on November 15th, 2011 6:22 pm

    "I don't need anyone now"

    okay sorry, it just seemed fitting….

    I'll go sit in the corner now…

  66. PortalMan118 on November 15th, 2011 7:00 pm

    Borris……..his name sounds like another name. I can't think of it though.

    [img ]http://www.blogcdn.com/www.urlesque.com/media/2010/01/chucknorris333-1264702438.jpg[/img]

    OH MY GOD!

  67. Skrist on November 15th, 2011 7:18 pm

    Yep, because Team Fortress 2, Pokemon, Minecraft were run down into the ground too!

  68. ProfessorLuigi on November 15th, 2011 8:35 pm

    The horse armor IS Borris

  69. ProfessorLuigi on November 15th, 2011 8:38 pm

    "I am skyrim hero guy. And THIS is my horse."

  70. RespectfulGlove on November 15th, 2011 8:49 pm
  71. Rathial on November 15th, 2011 8:49 pm

    Your Borris must be one of a kind. I've already lost 8 horses in the first day of playing

    :(

  72. Seanhl on November 15th, 2011 8:57 pm

    well, there hasn't been a good wolf joke in a while

  73. Krah Klo Zaan on November 15th, 2011 9:45 pm

    Sorry emblemfan, but Celestia isn't the awesome pony on the site, and there is no room for two, so…
    <img src="http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/6e07de591792ef7a71a89b61a457db6e/48876%20-%20Team_Fortress_2%20demoknight%20demopan%20fluttershy.png"&gt;

  74. Krah Klo Zaan on November 15th, 2011 9:47 pm

    I thought Aperture didn't test on animals…

  75. Krah Klo Zaan on November 15th, 2011 10:06 pm
  76. Krah Klo Zaan on November 15th, 2011 10:16 pm

    Someone put a mirror in front of him, and he hasn't been seen since

  77. TransPM on November 15th, 2011 10:16 pm

    Still no Chris Horsefield? I guess Chris has been too busy fighting all day in UMvC3

  78. The AntiVillain on November 15th, 2011 10:51 pm

    Princess Celestia doesn't have shit on Borris

  79. The AntiVillain on November 15th, 2011 10:56 pm
  80. Dracojounin7 on November 15th, 2011 10:59 pm

    Or Invisible Wars!

  81. The AntiVillain on November 15th, 2011 11:06 pm

    this is the mane reason i hate puns

  82. BTSnoogans on November 15th, 2011 11:21 pm

    armor The Borris IS horse.

  83. BTSnoogans on November 15th, 2011 11:25 pm

    Posting the video I wanted to post before I got the chance to do so? rel="nofollow">

  84. ibbolia on November 16th, 2011 12:08 am

    Says the man with the Crisssss Redfield avatar…

  85. Armetron on November 16th, 2011 2:27 am

    I thank you sir for stopping this crazy pun train, the only thing left to do so to go and ride into the sunset……….
    Fuck I did it again didn't I?

  86. Armetron on November 16th, 2011 2:29 am

    pffffff…..screw gravity

  87. Armetron on November 16th, 2011 2:34 am

    Some Dragons think they can outsmart me, Maybe *sniff* Maybe.

    I have yet to meet one who can outsmart Borris.

  88. Armetron on November 16th, 2011 2:36 am

    The horse is Borris in armor

  89. CJ47 on November 16th, 2011 4:31 am

    You indeed added to this pun night mare… SONOFABITCH I DID IT TOO!

  90. Shady Kitsune on November 16th, 2011 4:36 am

    Hello, heroes.
    Look at your steed, now back to me, back at your steed, now back to me.
    Sadly, your steed isn't me. But if they stopped being just a fleshy version of a car and did something useufl, they could kick dragons ass, like me.
    Look down, back up, where are you? You're in Skyrim with the Steed Your Steed Could Hope To Kick Ass Like!

    I AM a horse.

  91. ProfessorLuigi on November 16th, 2011 9:23 am

    Already done, son.
    Look at the submission description.

  92. Armetron on November 16th, 2011 9:28 am

    OH WOW I didn't even see that, sorry guys for repeating it, Ill have to pay more attention next time.

  93. penguindude42 on November 16th, 2011 11:47 am

    :D

  94. Combatbeaver on November 17th, 2011 12:27 pm

    .. Eqskyrimia? (look at the 3rd panel)

  95. misterz100 on November 17th, 2011 12:33 pm

    lol you messed up the link but that's great ^ ^ ( .http// should have been http:// )

  96. Combatbeaver on November 17th, 2011 1:38 pm
  97. UDNTNOME on November 17th, 2011 9:02 pm

    Wait is there a help line e-mail

    if there is i'm sorry

  98. M4DD4WG on November 18th, 2011 5:45 am

    This horse took dancing lessons from Borris " rel="nofollow">

  99. MrSchnappi on November 19th, 2011 10:48 pm

    Bad Horse! Bad Horse!
    Bad Horse! He's bad!
    He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin!

  100. Keyblader616 on November 23rd, 2011 9:17 pm

    Best part is, I have a cousin that works at Bethesda and did the horses.

    Methinks he missed a few things.

  101. SchinTeth on December 12th, 2011 4:37 pm

    Congrats for kickin´the trolls

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