You gotta hand it to those Dead Island zombies… they’re persistent! Even when a conveniently placed floatation device has created an impenertable wall between them and your delicious, tasty brains!
By Sir Kemper
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on September 7, 2011 · 12:19 AM
  (100 votes, average: 4.08 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Failure, Kickin' It, PC, Playstation, Shields Up, Square Enix, Uncategorized, Under the Sea, Video Clips, Xbox 360, Zombies · Leave a comment (49 Comments) |
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(4.86 out of 5)
Almost as stupid as the F2P were in the beginning… almost.
We all make fun of the zombie, but they tend to have the most brains out of all of us.
Because they ate ours.
"Hey, human, I think this pool toy is st-"
*smack*
"Look, I'm just trying to tell you you have a defective pool toy.
That zombie is great at playing Mime.
That wall just seems so solid. Like a small cheap plastic floaty was in the way.
Irony has never been so useful…
Boot to the head.
Reminds me of how I got my Swimming merit badge.
It's simple really…. don't get caught. <img src="http://vinteeage.com/product-images/zombies-hate-fast-food-t-shirt-vintage-t-shirt-review-snorg-tees-snorg-tees.gif">
And yet we wonder why zombies always try to consume us. It's because we're jerks. They try and help us out and what does it get them? Boot to the face.
The Free to Play? Or is this some crazy gang language? I don't understand please help <_<.
Note to self: If zombies attack, bring inflatable raft.
Fuck the zombies, that furniture is terrifying. I mean, look at it…its just sitting there, waiting, watching us, preparing for when we let our guard down…and there's nothing we can do, because none of the devs apparently finished learning how to implement physics in a computer game. Come on guys, I know that class was boring, but seriously? This is so sad.
Looks like things are going swimmingly for the undead.
thank god zombies don't know how to press "Y"
He speaks of TF2 Free to Players, whom started out having difficulty understanding some of the subtler points of the game.
<img src="http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs47/f/2009/180/9/7/TF2___Spy_Fail_by_frzdragon.jpg">
I can just see advice zombies popping up.
"PUNCH THROUGH SOLID WOOD DOOR"
"GET HELD BACK BY POOL FLOATY"
Zombies have to go through a rigorous training program before being released back into the wild.
This one is the best of the best.
Oh my gosh, is that three digits I see? How appropriate I get it on a pun post!
…wait, pretty much all I do is pun posts.
Once a physics engine has been applied to a Gaming Engine, it's child's play to implement the interactions between solid objects and the environment.
Unfortunately there's like 3 physics engines that get used out of a plethora of possible choices and all of them suck.
We've got Havok (master of complete yet inconvenient implementation of gravity, buoyancy, and stress. Shitty rag dolls and dumb hijinks abound.)
We've also got PhysX (Master of hyper-realistic physical interactions and frying your cheap piece of junk you call a computer.)
We've also got Cry-Engine (It's mediocre at everything but doesn't suck).
Havok does almost everything for you, so you can tell the designers weren't very good it they used it (unless they're valve, they make it work). All you have to do is make a second bounding box that mimics the rough shape of the mesh and then assign it to Havok. If it's an NPC that gets ragdoll physics you only have to rig the bounding box to the original skeleton.
Aside from having touched a couple of games that used PhysX, I know next to nothing about developing with it because I've never personally worked with it.
Cry-Engine is very cut and dried in development, but it's repetitive. Most developers will cut down on the number of object that follow the physics or take shortcuts to minimize the work. I could read all the volumes of "The Fall of Rome" TWICE in the time it takes to get a working alpha out of Cry-Engine if they didn't take shortcuts. Basically between retex jobs and cutting down on viable interactions, 80% of the potential of cry-engine is wasted to produce a single game.
To summarize:
Havok takes and extra 2 minutes per model to implement physics (for a novice, if you're really good with your modeling software you can cut this down to 30 seconds) and only the baseline of intellect it requires to use modeling software.
Don't know anything about working in PhysX but I hear it's really intuitive (but then again I could be being tricked into a bureaucratic hell of no return).
Cry-Engine has some really boring implementation, but really all you're doing is filling out values. I can cook dinner in the time it takes me to get one object done right (again, developers take lots of shortcuts).
TL;DR
"Hey uh, there's this little flotation device on my way that I can easily jump over, but I can't get the 'jump over' command. What should I do?"
I see 2 digits
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
I was wondering when the survivor was going to stop FLOUNDERING about.
Who else would love to see the exact same situation with a tank or witch :D
looks like the floaty was made by aperture
What about the ones in Left 4 Dead 1 and 2?
Go around it? -- Nope.
Go over it? -- Nope.
Pop it? -- Nope.
Walk into it endlessly because you're undead anyway? -- Yup, Perfect plan.
…….
…YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (Had to be done)
*insert Dramatic music and zoom out*
"Human! Stop running! You look quite tired and might collapse!"
"We'll carry you where you need to go!"
*smack*
Hidden Spy: *cough* Spycrab. Spycrab right now.
F2P Spy: wat?
*cue rape*
they also have runner in dead island. But i have a car, these zombies are invalid (literally).
Human! you look in pain, Maybe a massage will do!
-AAAGGHH!!! HUNTER!!!! GET IT OFFF ME!!!!
It helped me to have played TF1 at first…
So I sucked in hability, but where good in technique
It is said: for the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead…
Cave, we are done here
didn't you know? Pool Floaties are their own worst enemies o~o
We'll meet again, floaty!
Which is why I should never talk about anything I know anything about.
Fun game, even though it does feel rather unpolished.
Dat flotation device.
"Human! It looks like those cars are in your way. Let me move them for you!"
*molitov*
That guy must of gotton hell after that by the other zombies.
I think we're on to something here. No longer do we need to save ourselves using guns and cars!
Father: "Kids, the zombies are here! Get in the pool and ready the inflatables!"
Have you ever SEEN a witch? With the bloody claws and eviscerating everyone that makes noise?
This is what us non-necrophiliacs see.
<img src="http://images.wikia.com/left4dead/images/1/16/Witch-artwork.jpg">
<img src="http://files.g4tv.com/ImageDb3/186257_S/Left-4-Dead-Witch.jpg">
<img src="http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs42/f/2009/159/0/1/Witch_from_Left_4_Dead_by_DashMartin.jpg">
And this is what the necrophiliacs see
<img src="http://www.coolest-vampire-art-gallery.com/image-files/edward-cullen4.jpg">
Truly, truly disturbing….
"Human! You have brain cancer, Let me do surgery!"
*dead somhow*
"Remember, you don't have to outrun the crazed splicer, just your neighbor!"