And yet you call me the monster.
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Great, now somehow I feel bad for these damn guys who suicide bomb my house every night.
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on August 25, 2011 · 7:08 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (376 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)
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Categories:
Depressing, Irony, Minecraft, PC, Storytime/Wordplay

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103 Responses to “And yet you call me the monster.”

  1. Ice_Cold_Water on August 25th, 2011 6:30 pm

    <img src=http://i56.tinypic.com/o0qow0.jpg>

  2. Drjolt on August 25th, 2011 7:11 pm

    Damn hippie creepers! I'm going to call Saxton Hale on your ass!

  3. Q_Walrus on August 25th, 2011 7:14 pm

    I'm surprised that I haven't seen a PhilosoCreeper meme pop up yet, honestly.

  4. Inshushi on August 25th, 2011 7:15 pm

    Is explode all the objective of the creepers life? doesn't life holds other meanings to such creatures, wouldn't th….SSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssss….

  5. CapnJakeBob on August 25th, 2011 7:22 pm

    See, I don't do that whole "ruin a countryside to make shit" thing. Yeah, I explore caves and scrape the minerals off the walls, but the only time I destroy tons of blocks is when I need to escape caves that I've become hopelessly lost in. I've never killed unless I needed to. Hell, I don't tend to destroy the place since the random map generator's a better architect than me.

    The zombies are mindless creatures who only want to kill the player, the skeletons are out for blood. Since they can no longer shed their own blood, they seek to shed the blood of others. Spiders are temperamental creatures who'll attack unless the sun is affecting their vision. Creepers, however, seem hell bent on destroying you and anything nearby. Players destroy, but they also create. A creeper is cunning, but it has no precision, no aim as to what it wants to destroy, and so ruins anything nearby when it goes off.

    Some people may be cruel bastards, but that's no reason to take it out on the people with little shacks who're just exploring.

  6. imnutty on August 25th, 2011 7:23 pm

    You devastate our land, gouge our earth and killed my father
    Prepare to die
    <img src="http://www.made2mentor.com/Images/inigo1.jpg"&gt;

  7. HoopleDoople on August 25th, 2011 7:27 pm

    I never looked at it that way. It would appear that I am the true giant, walking dick. I am very sorry and apologize for my behavior. Let's hug it out….

    …WAAAAIT A MINUTE

  8. Ice_Cold_Water on August 25th, 2011 7:31 pm

    I like day spiders. My server buddies call me "The Spider Whisperer."

  9. Ovahdrive on August 25th, 2011 7:38 pm

    Speaking of Creepers… http://www.statesidestills.com/prodimages/shawn_w
    Edit: Sigh, my school computer is like "wat iz htmrl? lolollol" Apologies.

  10. BasketGT on August 25th, 2011 7:49 pm

    Gotta love neo-racism. If all else fails, blame the crackers.

    Seriously, though, early European settlers may have "[gouged] out the earth", but the Native Americans stopped fighting back a while ago. Now they gouge the white man with their tempting casinos, so I'm sure they've got the last laugh.

  11. Sid_Diddly on August 25th, 2011 7:55 pm

    You know this post did remind me I haven't met up with my daily "rape the land" or even my "pillage the seas" quota this year…. They gunna revoke my white card! D:

  12. Omnomynous on August 25th, 2011 7:56 pm

    Wow! I'm so helpful, creating a ecosystem with a bucket of Water! Oh? What's this green critter? Come here little fella… don't be shy…

    Hsssssssssss…..

    No need to be hostile, buddy. Here, let's be friends.

    *BOOM*

    And from that day, I hated creepers.

  13. Sid_Diddly on August 25th, 2011 7:56 pm

    Someone needs to do a Minecraft PSA parody with a crying creeper in reference to rel="nofollow">

  14. ibbolia on August 25th, 2011 7:57 pm

    Last I checked, my simple houses did WAAAAY les than their little exploding protes-*BOOM*
    …IGNORE MY SILLY HUMAN WORDS! I AM A TERRIBLE HOLE MAKER! I AM NOT A GREEN BOMB PERSON!

  15. Red on August 25th, 2011 8:06 pm

    Now that I think about it… minecraft skins do tend to have 6 fingers…

  16. El_bruno on August 25th, 2011 8:07 pm

    >See new guy just strolling around the giant world doing no harm
    >Explode his ass into bits anyway

    And in case this is not a powerful enought counter-argument

    <img src="http://otherscribbles.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/There-is-a-dinosaur-riding-on-a-sharks-back-with-a-laser-Your-argument-is-invalid.jpg"&gt;

  17. SpiffyTrousers on August 25th, 2011 8:08 pm

    Don't you have restitution fees to beg for or something?

  18. GameboyPATH on August 25th, 2011 8:19 pm

    I try to keep trees plentiful, I leave the terrain of mountains and hills alone, and I seldom pick flowers, because I want to sustain the natural beauty.

    The natural… digital… artificial beauty?

  19. TheInsaneWombat on August 25th, 2011 8:19 pm

    *A-hem*

    Arrow + Face = No More Guilt Trips

    That is all.

  20. The_AntiVillain on August 25th, 2011 8:27 pm

    i remember a lower quality picture where the background was completely black and the text was red or is that something else?

  21. Psycroc on August 25th, 2011 8:51 pm

    Halolz, not yet blocked in schools.

  22. redroverone on August 25th, 2011 9:00 pm

    As if. Creepers are 100% trying to kill a species that's below a viable population already. Yeah, that's pretty monstrous.

  23. ShadowHazuki on August 25th, 2011 9:07 pm

    SPELLING HAMMER!

    monuments*

  24. BTSnoogans on August 25th, 2011 9:16 pm

    Kudos to the picture for taking it one step further than Dr. Evil.

  25. Jakben Imbel on August 25th, 2011 9:17 pm

    Player: Aww… Okay Mr. Creeper, come on in, maybe we can compromise on something
    Creeper: SSSSSSssssssure
    Player: hey why'd you so much emphasis on the "S" there?….

  26. Sceptilianblade on August 25th, 2011 9:25 pm

    Meanwhile, behind the Hollywood sign, Dr. Evil rages with jealousy.

  27. Seolfyr on August 25th, 2011 9:27 pm

    Y’know, the ability to negotiate with and/or tame creepers would actually be pretty freakin’ awesome.

    GO FORTH AND DESTROY, MY EXPLODING MINIONS

  28. Zain_Bloodbane on August 25th, 2011 9:32 pm

    That creeper's a spy. I did not see any text making a hissing sound.

  29. Shatman on August 25th, 2011 9:32 pm

    …Yes. A one-room cave I dug out with my bear hands as I fought off you guys until I could build a boat and sail off is a monument to my vanity.

    My single-room, 5x4, bed-furnace-craft table-chest-made-from-a-tree-I-planted vanity.

  30. Red on August 25th, 2011 9:34 pm

    INCONCEIVABLE!!!

  31. BlurrySandwich on August 25th, 2011 9:37 pm

    Creeper says:
    "We both said a lot of things that you will regret. You monster."

  32. Shatman on August 25th, 2011 9:37 pm

    Hi, just wanted to say: the white man invented television, the telephone, the cure for smallpox, vaccines, heliocentric theory, the sandwich, the automobile, crop rotation, conservation, and modern civilization in the form of Rome.

    Also, I accidentally +1'd you. Nine people dislike this comment, including me.

  33. ooaverage on August 25th, 2011 9:39 pm

    Not a monument, a momument.

    It all seems vaguely freudian. Never mind that it's a giant green willy doing the talking.

  34. Ovahdrive on August 25th, 2011 10:11 pm

    Correction, it is actually an undead rockstar jamming out on the back of a dinosaur that is aiming a laser on the back of a rocket powered shark.

  35. Drjolt on August 25th, 2011 10:22 pm

    Oh yeah, oh yeah, it's a dinosaur laser fight, in space with sharks!

  36. Dr.Jolt on August 25th, 2011 10:30 pm

    What the hell’s up with the comments? IT’S NOT THE SAME.

  37. Ovahdrive on August 25th, 2011 11:55 pm

    I think you mean bare hands. Unless….. <img src="http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Random/with-my-bear-hands.jpg"&gt;

  38. Kittari on August 26th, 2011 12:14 am

    Wow… I never really thought about it that way… Here I am, setting off vast fields of TNT. I'm ruining an ecosystem here!… BUT AT LEAST I'M HAPPY!!! Oh, and creeper, you are, and will ALWAYS be, a MONSTER. a HATED MONSTER that picks on EVERYONE.

    (Somewhat) Sincerely, someone who kicks hippies^^

  39. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on August 26th, 2011 1:01 am
  40. KungFuDeli on August 26th, 2011 1:12 am

    Who would've thought the end of beta would mean the secondary attack. Allow me to demonstrate:
    "That's a wonderful everything you have there. It'd be a shame if I were to bitch about it but unlike other hippies I actually do something about it. BOOM MOTHER FUCKER!!!"
    The dreaded guilt-splosion! coming soon.

  41. coltsman88 on August 26th, 2011 2:00 am

    Double Correction, it is Zombie Ninja David Bowie jamming out on the back of a dinosaur that is aiming a laser on the back of a rocket powered shark THAT IS ALSO OPTIMUS PRIME.

  42. Red on August 26th, 2011 2:07 am

    I mean it in the context that it's highly unlikely that all educational facilities would NOT have this particular web site blocked

    There would surely be some

  43. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on August 26th, 2011 2:43 am

    "Inconceivable. I repeat, I do not think it means what you think it means. It means that something is impossible even to imagine (or, depending on usage, to conceive in a biological sense, such as an inter-species crossbreed), although there is some variability to this. Anything that is truly and utterly inconceivable would by definition be unimaginable in any way, shape or form by our minds (including the mere concept), as they simply weren’t designed to conjure up such information. In any case, it does not mean "impossible", "highly unlikely", or "unfortunate". (It should be noted that this may not be a valid definition, but it's perfectly valid as hyperbole.) For example: a triangle (the mathematical construct that is, not an actual, hand-made one) appearing floating in midair above your head is impossible. That triangle being four-sided is inconceivable. "

    Quod Erat Demonstrandum

  44. Happy on August 26th, 2011 2:44 am

    I'm fairly sure a better argument would be the fact that this picture has absolutely nothing to do with race, at all.

  45. Solomerc_Elite on August 26th, 2011 4:20 am

    I actually built my house out of organically grown trees, in the most literal sense imaginable.
    Then I built a tower from bedrock to maximum height out of obsidian.

  46. Solomerc_Elite on August 26th, 2011 4:26 am

    I just want the sharks with the laser beams attached to their heads. I mean what do I pay you people for?

  47. OmegaJunk on August 26th, 2011 6:29 am

    Man, creeper memes sure are exploding on the internet!

  48. Gearheadmk2 on August 26th, 2011 7:42 am

    OK creepers. I'll just make a tiny-bunker in the single player if YOU wont blow my up when I try to construct an obsidian-skyscraper-with-lines-of-glowstone-on-it-to-make-it-look-like-something-out-of-Tron on the multiplayer. Deal?

  49. Shatman on August 26th, 2011 7:42 am

    DAMN IT MY SECRET'S OUT!

    Er… I mean…
    Yes. It was a typo. Move along.

  50. Shatman on August 26th, 2011 7:46 am

    That too.

    Take note folks: Drinking and posting just isn't cool.

  51. TomQuoVadis on August 26th, 2011 9:26 am

    But when I hollow out a cave, doesn't that technically give you a much larger place to spawn, Mr. Creeper? And think of all the zombies and skeletons and spiders that love those dark holes, and-

    SSSSSSSSSssssss…

    Okay! You're right! I'm a horrible human being!

  52. Sandbag on August 26th, 2011 9:52 am

    UMAD? LOLOLOL

  53. Alpar on August 26th, 2011 10:26 am

    Aw man, I missed a racist comment that got a -12…

    Anyone mind telling me what mikeorike said?

  54. Uzumakiclan43 on August 26th, 2011 10:49 am

    HA! To suggest that we can live in harmony with these ticking phallic symbols is sheer nonsense! Why, these, these.. things are a nuisance! They show up on our doorstep unannounced, complimenting on the appearance of our material goods with an air of aristocracy! They destroy everything from whatever depths of the netherworld they crawl out of, then hobble over to our domiciles just as we are settling down and eliminate our diamond supplies. The sooner they are eliminated, the better. It's a question of player survival.

  55. Gearheadmk2 on August 26th, 2011 11:17 am

    Dont bother. I bet mikeorike is one of those guys that use Horton Hears a Who as an argument against abortion.

  56. kizigames on August 26th, 2011 12:12 pm

    I'm surprised that I haven't seen a PhilosoCreeper meme pop up yet, honestly.
    I agree …ideal.

  57. Seanhl on August 26th, 2011 12:29 pm

    and what about the French, the Spanish may have been like lawn-mowers, the English may have been like weed-whackers, the French were like fertilizer (mind you I'm part all of this, so I can truly say I'm unbiased)

  58. Seanhl on August 26th, 2011 12:30 pm

    now don't you start…

  59. Seanhl on August 26th, 2011 12:31 pm

    trolls seem to have attacked you, I deployed my emergency +1

  60. Seanhl on August 26th, 2011 12:34 pm

    Unless those green phallic bastards get a rel="nofollow">tank. Then all bets are off.

  61. HughbertEsq on August 26th, 2011 12:36 pm

    SAXTON…. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAALE!

  62. HughbertEsq on August 26th, 2011 12:40 pm

    In Space

  63. HughbertEsq on August 26th, 2011 12:41 pm

    "But I'm sure we can put our differences behind us. For Science ( of pyrotechnics)

  64. HughbertEsq on August 26th, 2011 12:42 pm

    They really are making a….BLAST

  65. HughbertEsq on August 26th, 2011 12:43 pm

    And now you will tell me what that comment was, Or Else.

  66. HughbertEsq on August 26th, 2011 12:44 pm

    rel="nofollow">
    R-R-R-R-R-RELEVANCE!

  67. TehVortex on August 26th, 2011 1:36 pm

    23 comments and 100 e-peen. Congratulations are in order I guess. Bring in the celebration cannon.

  68. Omnomynous on August 26th, 2011 1:55 pm

    Something like this is similar to what the "white" people did to America when they first landed.

    PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, I"M AN INNOCENT PERSON!

  69. Red on August 26th, 2011 1:57 pm

    Latin, eh?
    Well, *clears throat*
    ROMANES EUNT DOMUS!!!

  70. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on August 26th, 2011 2:10 pm

    *reads above comment*
    *Active proponent against said act*
    *Knows people who use said argument*
    *Would not equate them to racists*
    iamdisappoint.jpg

  71. tinynewtman on August 26th, 2011 2:34 pm

    At least I have a purpose for destroying the land. How does it feel, ruining my monuments, my very reason for existing, just because I want a hug?

  72. imnutty on August 26th, 2011 2:35 pm
  73. imnutty on August 26th, 2011 2:37 pm

    ego amo toast
    (i like toast)

  74. TsavoLion on August 26th, 2011 3:20 pm

    "I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster."
    -GLaDOS

  75. PortalMan118 on August 26th, 2011 3:29 pm

    don't look at me like that creeper! I'm not the one that explodes!

  76. Geary on August 26th, 2011 3:36 pm

    In your pants

  77. Gearheadmk2 on August 26th, 2011 4:06 pm

    Sorry. I just assumed he said something stupid seeing how he tried to connect Creepers with racism.

  78. TheInsaneWombat on August 26th, 2011 5:23 pm

    +1 for contextually good pun. You know, one that isn't like punderstorm.

  79. Red on August 26th, 2011 5:27 pm

    aw… I was hoping someone would notice the Life of Brian reference and say the next part.
    I'm gonna go cry on my mountain now

  80. imnutty on August 26th, 2011 5:31 pm
  81. Happy on August 26th, 2011 6:24 pm

    If I recall right, it was "this is what white people have been doing and nobody says a thing :D"
    (the :D face is very important because that is what made me most angry)

  82. Happy on August 26th, 2011 6:30 pm

    Good, very good. In the meantime I'm going to go +1 his comment on the Jewish Daily Forward even though I don't understand any of it.

  83. Alpar on August 26th, 2011 6:49 pm

    I don't see why the happy face gets to you, but everything else is understandable I guess.

  84. Artakha on August 26th, 2011 7:43 pm

    "I'm different."

  85. Artakha on August 26th, 2011 7:48 pm

    That's just outrageous. I have 75 e-peen, and over 200 comments. I call shenanigans on this bullshit!!

  86. imnutty on August 26th, 2011 8:34 pm

    young Artakha…you must master the joke…learn to make it bend to your will….check my major post for this page…50 epeen….learn to be funny you must

  87. Artakha on August 26th, 2011 8:40 pm

    Screw E-Peen.
    Eat trolls.

  88. imnutty on August 26th, 2011 8:44 pm

    Young Artakha…Trolls are like a dog pissing itself…it's already pathetic just ignore him

  89. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on August 26th, 2011 9:10 pm

    rel="nofollow">ROMANI ITE DOMUM!

    (I was away from the computer)

  90. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on August 26th, 2011 9:13 pm

    It's kay, I just get touchy on the subject because it's not like pro-lifers are doing it to be mean, they do it because they care.

    Go now, and be enlightened, fellow gentleman.

    <img src="http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/The_More_You_Know.jpg"&gt;

  91. sims796 on August 27th, 2011 12:13 pm

    I'm getting there! One witty comment at a time.

  92. sims796 on August 27th, 2011 12:32 pm

    That's nice. Black people have done much for this country as well. So did spanish people. Asians have also done much for this world as a whole. Want me to tell you al the bad stuff "white" people has done? Cause they've done some bad stuff, too. So did the blacks. And spanish. And asians.

    Sorry to seriousify this topic, but posts like that really fry my bacon. Whites have done plenty. So did many other cultures in this world. Whites have commited many crimes. So did every other culture in this world.

  93. Red on August 27th, 2011 5:25 pm

    But… but I has sandvich:
    <img src="http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/thumb/9/95/Sandvich.png/250px-Sandvich.png&quot; alt="" />

  94. Jan on August 28th, 2011 7:44 am

    Hey, little green suicide bomber bastard. Listen up. It’s not like I had wished to be in this world after all. Actually I wish I could be sitting on my balcony right now sipping a cool beer.

    All I can remember is that I woke up some morning on some blocky beach seeing my fucking distorted blocky face reflection in the rectangular sea. Now I have to arrange myself in this weird-ass, huge world of yours that looks like it was flushed straight outta big baby’s Lego box.

    In fact, I’m efficient and polite. I only form this world to have a corner to live in and take as few as possible from it. Just what takes to keeps my humble self alive and defend from you and your arrow-spamming, squeaking, moaning buddies that interrupt my sleep and try to turn me into an ugly fleshy pincushion.

    In all those months spent there I learned some stuff. I built tools and machinery so it doesn’t take fucking ages to push dirt and break stone. I forged shears to gather some less bloody wool from bleating sheep than by knocking them unconscious. Oh, and a fine sword to slay any creepy being who dares to approach at night and wake me up.

    So stay the fuck away from my tiny wooden hut if you don’t want an arrow to your head from this motherfucking bow I made from some bitchin’ spiders’ guts that pissed me off last night.

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/J2uRv.jpg&quot; />

  95. Phantomgamer12 on August 28th, 2011 5:52 pm

    You blow up innocent creatures. Your existence is purely based on destroying someone you don't even know. You kill others, sacrificing your own life. And you complain that we call you a monster?

  96. marvin272822 on August 28th, 2011 9:53 pm

    You know why creepers are bent on destroying us humans.
    Answer 1.we pretty much annoy them by:placing dirt monument(which used to be some dicks house)
    2:they actually cause less damage to the enviroment(look at this way we kill creeper to make TNT)
    3:WE FRIGGIN KILL EVERY THING(no offense)
    4:Minerals we just pillage these stuff in order to survive.but for what?we can always respawn again and again
    5:look at you wooden,gold,iron etc. house(or monument) that you left there for nearly a loooooong time.we always switch our houses and make them bigger.FOR WHAT!?you can just survive with a small 5x5 shack.I do that all the time.if its too small you can make it a little bigger(say 8x8).if you make a mansion AND THEN MOVE.would you leave it there?most people say yes.
    6:im actually thankful for griefers even though they destroy monuments and houses and other crap.they pretty mush help creeper save the enviroment.
    7:whats the first thing you need to survive?WOOD.how do you get wood?By breaking trees.you break them and plant them back thats what YOU say…you see if you had no wood you would die.if you did have wood you would continiously get wood for projects like making a Wodden pirate ship or something like that.so no wood=no humans.
    Final:ITS A FU*$IN GAME.NO PRO ENEMIES=NO FUN!
    ps.none of the statements from me ABOVE the final statement is true pls dont reply and thank you :D

  97. JboneDRS on August 29th, 2011 4:02 am

    I don't know about you but I replant my trees.

  98. GazzyW007 on August 31st, 2011 12:22 pm
  99. KodaKonduct on September 7th, 2011 2:22 am

    Isn't monument spelled with an 'N'?

  100. Kittari on October 6th, 2011 7:02 pm

    Ya' know… I was gonna say something racist, but I just remembered… http://www.halolz.com/2011/06/09/im-not-always-a-

  101. Kittari on October 14th, 2011 12:01 am

    WARNING: This is a reply. I am replying to this post. I know this was posted a looong time ago, which makes this a tad funnier. Now for the long awaited reply—

    …Wood…

    And now back to your scheduled programming.

  102. aaaaa on April 1st, 2012 8:43 pm

    If creepers want to stop us from mutilating the landscape, they should think up a better way than mutilating the f**king landscape.

  103. Wafflecopter on April 26th, 2012 5:57 pm

    we are not the only ones creeper, you gouge the land with your explosiveness. but still, all apologies to the Minecraft Planet

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