And yet you call me the monster.
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Great, now somehow I feel bad for these damn guys who suicide bomb my house every night.
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on August 25, 2011 · 7:08 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (376 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)
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Depressing, Irony, Minecraft, PC, Storytime/Wordplay

· Leave a comment (103 Comments)


103 Responses to “And yet you call me the monster.”

  1. Ice_Cold_Water on August 25th, 2011 6:30 pm

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  2. Drjolt on August 25th, 2011 7:11 pm

    Damn hippie creepers! I'm going to call Saxton Hale on your ass!

  3. Q_Walrus on August 25th, 2011 7:14 pm

    I'm surprised that I haven't seen a PhilosoCreeper meme pop up yet, honestly.

  4. CapnJakeBob on August 25th, 2011 7:22 pm

    See, I don't do that whole "ruin a countryside to make shit" thing. Yeah, I explore caves and scrape the minerals off the walls, but the only time I destroy tons of blocks is when I need to escape caves that I've become hopelessly lost in. I've never killed unless I needed to. Hell, I don't tend to destroy the place since the random map generator's a better architect than me.

    The zombies are mindless creatures who only want to kill the player, the skeletons are out for blood. Since they can no longer shed their own blood, they seek to shed the blood of others. Spiders are temperamental creatures who'll attack unless the sun is affecting their vision. Creepers, however, seem hell bent on destroying you and anything nearby. Players destroy, but they also create. A creeper is cunning, but it has no precision, no aim as to what it wants to destroy, and so ruins anything nearby when it goes off.

    Some people may be cruel bastards, but that's no reason to take it out on the people with little shacks who're just exploring.

  5. imnutty on August 25th, 2011 7:23 pm

    You devastate our land, gouge our earth and killed my father
    Prepare to die
    <img src=""&gt;

  6. HoopleDoople on August 25th, 2011 7:27 pm

    I never looked at it that way. It would appear that I am the true giant, walking dick. I am very sorry and apologize for my behavior. Let's hug it out….


  7. BasketGT on August 25th, 2011 7:49 pm

    Gotta love neo-racism. If all else fails, blame the crackers.

    Seriously, though, early European settlers may have "[gouged] out the earth", but the Native Americans stopped fighting back a while ago. Now they gouge the white man with their tempting casinos, so I'm sure they've got the last laugh.

  8. Sid_Diddly on August 25th, 2011 7:55 pm

    You know this post did remind me I haven't met up with my daily "rape the land" or even my "pillage the seas" quota this year…. They gunna revoke my white card! D:

  9. Omnomynous on August 25th, 2011 7:56 pm

    Wow! I'm so helpful, creating a ecosystem with a bucket of Water! Oh? What's this green critter? Come here little fella… don't be shy…


    No need to be hostile, buddy. Here, let's be friends.


    And from that day, I hated creepers.

  10. Sid_Diddly on August 25th, 2011 7:56 pm

    Someone needs to do a Minecraft PSA parody with a crying creeper in reference to rel="nofollow">

  11. ibbolia on August 25th, 2011 7:57 pm

    Last I checked, my simple houses did WAAAAY les than their little exploding protes-*BOOM*

  12. El_bruno on August 25th, 2011 8:07 pm

    >See new guy just strolling around the giant world doing no harm
    >Explode his ass into bits anyway

    And in case this is not a powerful enought counter-argument

    <img src=""&gt;

  13. SpiffyTrousers on August 25th, 2011 8:08 pm

    Don't you have restitution fees to beg for or something?

  14. TheInsaneWombat on August 25th, 2011 8:19 pm


    Arrow + Face = No More Guilt Trips

    That is all.

  15. The_AntiVillain on August 25th, 2011 8:27 pm

    i remember a lower quality picture where the background was completely black and the text was red or is that something else?

  16. redroverone on August 25th, 2011 9:00 pm

    As if. Creepers are 100% trying to kill a species that's below a viable population already. Yeah, that's pretty monstrous.

  17. ShadowHazuki on August 25th, 2011 9:07 pm



  18. Jakben Imbel on August 25th, 2011 9:17 pm

    Player: Aww… Okay Mr. Creeper, come on in, maybe we can compromise on something
    Creeper: SSSSSSssssssure
    Player: hey why'd you so much emphasis on the "S" there?….

  19. Seolfyr on August 25th, 2011 9:27 pm

    Y’know, the ability to negotiate with and/or tame creepers would actually be pretty freakin’ awesome.


  20. Zain_Bloodbane on August 25th, 2011 9:32 pm

    That creeper's a spy. I did not see any text making a hissing sound.

  21. Shatman on August 25th, 2011 9:32 pm

    …Yes. A one-room cave I dug out with my bear hands as I fought off you guys until I could build a boat and sail off is a monument to my vanity.

    My single-room, 5x4, bed-furnace-craft table-chest-made-from-a-tree-I-planted vanity.

  22. BlurrySandwich on August 25th, 2011 9:37 pm

    Creeper says:
    "We both said a lot of things that you will regret. You monster."

  23. Shatman on August 25th, 2011 9:37 pm

    Hi, just wanted to say: the white man invented television, the telephone, the cure for smallpox, vaccines, heliocentric theory, the sandwich, the automobile, crop rotation, conservation, and modern civilization in the form of Rome.

    Also, I accidentally +1'd you. Nine people dislike this comment, including me.

  24. Dr.Jolt on August 25th, 2011 10:30 pm

    What the hell’s up with the comments? IT’S NOT THE SAME.

  25. Kittari on August 26th, 2011 12:14 am

    Wow… I never really thought about it that way… Here I am, setting off vast fields of TNT. I'm ruining an ecosystem here!… BUT AT LEAST I'M HAPPY!!! Oh, and creeper, you are, and will ALWAYS be, a MONSTER. a HATED MONSTER that picks on EVERYONE.

    (Somewhat) Sincerely, someone who kicks hippies^^

  26. KungFuDeli on August 26th, 2011 1:12 am

    Who would've thought the end of beta would mean the secondary attack. Allow me to demonstrate:
    "That's a wonderful everything you have there. It'd be a shame if I were to bitch about it but unlike other hippies I actually do something about it. BOOM MOTHER FUCKER!!!"
    The dreaded guilt-splosion! coming soon.

  27. OmegaJunk on August 26th, 2011 6:29 am

    Man, creeper memes sure are exploding on the internet!

  28. Gearheadmk2 on August 26th, 2011 7:42 am

    OK creepers. I'll just make a tiny-bunker in the single player if YOU wont blow my up when I try to construct an obsidian-skyscraper-with-lines-of-glowstone-on-it-to-make-it-look-like-something-out-of-Tron on the multiplayer. Deal?

  29. TomQuoVadis on August 26th, 2011 9:26 am

    But when I hollow out a cave, doesn't that technically give you a much larger place to spawn, Mr. Creeper? And think of all the zombies and skeletons and spiders that love those dark holes, and-


    Okay! You're right! I'm a horrible human being!

  30. Sandbag on August 26th, 2011 9:52 am


  31. Uzumakiclan43 on August 26th, 2011 10:49 am

    HA! To suggest that we can live in harmony with these ticking phallic symbols is sheer nonsense! Why, these, these.. things are a nuisance! They show up on our doorstep unannounced, complimenting on the appearance of our material goods with an air of aristocracy! They destroy everything from whatever depths of the netherworld they crawl out of, then hobble over to our domiciles just as we are settling down and eliminate our diamond supplies. The sooner they are eliminated, the better. It's a question of player survival.

  32. kizigames on August 26th, 2011 12:12 pm

    I'm surprised that I haven't seen a PhilosoCreeper meme pop up yet, honestly.
    I agree …ideal.

  33. HughbertEsq on August 26th, 2011 12:44 pm


  34. tinynewtman on August 26th, 2011 2:34 pm

    At least I have a purpose for destroying the land. How does it feel, ruining my monuments, my very reason for existing, just because I want a hug?

  35. PortalMan118 on August 26th, 2011 3:29 pm

    don't look at me like that creeper! I'm not the one that explodes!

  36. Artakha on August 26th, 2011 7:43 pm

    "I'm different."

  37. Jan on August 28th, 2011 7:44 am

    Hey, little green suicide bomber bastard. Listen up. It’s not like I had wished to be in this world after all. Actually I wish I could be sitting on my balcony right now sipping a cool beer.

    All I can remember is that I woke up some morning on some blocky beach seeing my fucking distorted blocky face reflection in the rectangular sea. Now I have to arrange myself in this weird-ass, huge world of yours that looks like it was flushed straight outta big baby’s Lego box.

    In fact, I’m efficient and polite. I only form this world to have a corner to live in and take as few as possible from it. Just what takes to keeps my humble self alive and defend from you and your arrow-spamming, squeaking, moaning buddies that interrupt my sleep and try to turn me into an ugly fleshy pincushion.

    In all those months spent there I learned some stuff. I built tools and machinery so it doesn’t take fucking ages to push dirt and break stone. I forged shears to gather some less bloody wool from bleating sheep than by knocking them unconscious. Oh, and a fine sword to slay any creepy being who dares to approach at night and wake me up.

    So stay the fuck away from my tiny wooden hut if you don’t want an arrow to your head from this motherfucking bow I made from some bitchin’ spiders’ guts that pissed me off last night.

    <img src="; />

  38. Phantomgamer12 on August 28th, 2011 5:52 pm

    You blow up innocent creatures. Your existence is purely based on destroying someone you don't even know. You kill others, sacrificing your own life. And you complain that we call you a monster?

  39. marvin272822 on August 28th, 2011 9:53 pm

    You know why creepers are bent on destroying us humans.
    Answer 1.we pretty much annoy them by:placing dirt monument(which used to be some dicks house)
    2:they actually cause less damage to the enviroment(look at this way we kill creeper to make TNT)
    4:Minerals we just pillage these stuff in order to survive.but for what?we can always respawn again and again
    5:look at you wooden,gold,iron etc. house(or monument) that you left there for nearly a loooooong time.we always switch our houses and make them bigger.FOR WHAT!?you can just survive with a small 5x5 shack.I do that all the time.if its too small you can make it a little bigger(say 8x8).if you make a mansion AND THEN MOVE.would you leave it there?most people say yes.
    6:im actually thankful for griefers even though they destroy monuments and houses and other crap.they pretty mush help creeper save the enviroment.
    7:whats the first thing you need to survive? do you get wood?By breaking break them and plant them back thats what YOU say…you see if you had no wood you would die.if you did have wood you would continiously get wood for projects like making a Wodden pirate ship or something like no wood=no humans.
    ps.none of the statements from me ABOVE the final statement is true pls dont reply and thank you :D

  40. JboneDRS on August 29th, 2011 4:02 am

    I don't know about you but I replant my trees.

  41. KodaKonduct on September 7th, 2011 2:22 am

    Isn't monument spelled with an 'N'?

  42. aaaaa on April 1st, 2012 8:43 pm

    If creepers want to stop us from mutilating the landscape, they should think up a better way than mutilating the f**king landscape.

  43. Wafflecopter on April 26th, 2012 5:57 pm

    we are not the only ones creeper, you gouge the land with your explosiveness. but still, all apologies to the Minecraft Planet

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