A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of L4D?
By Pandadrake
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on August 9, 2011 · 4:09 PM
  (400 votes, average: 4.76 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Artistic, Chillaxin', Off Duty, Sequential Art, Sneak Attack, Team Fortress 2, Things Are Heating Up, Valve Software · Leave a comment (111 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
Well, going to need to start writing up rules for this alternative method of chess playing.
going to need 3 chess sets, a 17x17 tile board, 16 20-sided dice, and willing test subjects…
Engineer countered by adding another swamp card to his rook which would allow him to headshot the bishop, cast firaga from the knight, and eventually move all the way to peppermint forest, where he could align with his men on Boardwalk to make a connect four, earning him 50 points for a straight flush.
This game needs to be made, now.
I feel compelled to start making my own rules of chess. Hmmm…
Him: I move my bishop here, and that's checkmate
Me: HA! Little did you know that that tile was booby-trapped with man-eating monkeys!
Him: But, I brought Man-Eating Monkey Repellant!
Me: Still! My queen can escape through the secret passage i built behind the vines!
Him: But it's not Thursday!
Me:…I have a lighter!
Him: DAMMIT
And then the Engineer reveals that there is a ten Engy sentry farm right around the corner.
……
You're right, that wasn't funny. I'll go sit in the corner.
Bingo!
Yea, but now you gotta bring the king back to your HQ. Good luck with that.
Heavy is King of Chess!
Sadly, since the Engineer had accrued too many points, the server auto-balanced him to the enemy team. He was surprised to find the BLU team playing a similar game, but on motorcycles.
But he couldn't have made the straight flush until he found the Holy Grail and passed go! He also need to roll doubles and punch trees for wood!….unless…it was OCTOBER!
Only six classes and no hats? WTF is this crap! And those rooks… the noobs won't quit with the W plus M1
I don't see any problems. This is how I play chess, isn't it for all of us?
Yahtzee!
Sorry but the rule for october only applies if it was the odd year after a even one, plus the square root of pie plus the amount of spare metals and tyberium on the field.
Heavy is obviously a tower.
After that, Spy realized that there was a cloaked Rook near the entrance, so he rolled 3, collected 2 wool, drew a Blackjack and Sorry'd the rook. This gave him an extra 20 mana to put toward promoting his pawn to Axelord. This tied the game up, and Engineer had no choice but to challenge him to Calvinball.
Do you have an Aperture Gravity Well And Quantum Portal Device?
If so, I know of some very proper test subjects.
Now we just need to find some alternative dimension for the resulting supernova of awesomeness to consume…
This only proves that there will be a TF2 board game.
Roll a 1: Move 1 space
Roll a 2: Attack
Roll a 3:Buy a hat
Roll a 4: Buy a hat
Roll a 5:Sell a hat
Roll a 6: Sell your family to buy more hats
There are no winners…. Except valve.
Next month the TF2 Chess update!
Spy's with bishop hats!
The unmovable Heavy has his Rook hat on!
Bishop is Sappin' mah Knight!
I saw this in a thread on the TF2 forums sometime last year. It's gone now. Too bad, I coulda found the artist :P
Rook: I love this Bishop!
Our servey says… GOD!
DING DING DING DING DING
Pfffff. Real Men Play Lord Loss Chess.
I'm gonna piss off some of my friends by playing with that rule.
i add HP to my chess pieces so they cant all be killed with one hit
i have my pawn two spaces to the left meaning i can get out of any hole with the pawn rope throw special ability
It needs more hats…
▲
▲ ▲
ಠ_ಠ
I'll be right back, my brain just ran away screaming…
You know what this game really needs? 3D Chess: http://www.amazon.com/John-N-Hansen-529-Strato/dp…
mmph mmhmmph!
is pyro speak for "That queen is a spy!"
Playing against the spy isn't as bad as playing against the sniper though his queen can kill your king from across the board.
Well that may be, but your spy is a……..DOUBLE AGENT! WITH A HAT!
Tyberium, doctor?
That couldn't possibly be anything like Tiberian could it?
Engineer is smart enough to be a master at chess.
Spy is smart enough to know he can still win by annoying the hell out of Engie until he ragequits.
I figured they just all got backstabbed.
I thought he'd be the King (of team), and the Medic would be the Queen.
Pyro just likes to burn stuff.
Scouts= peons, Soldier = knight, heavy =tower (Or maybe queen, powerful, tho it doesn't move as the queen) I think Pyro is better as a king, not for how good but mostly cause close distance is pretty good.
Me: No, my King has a ten foot pole. Your rook can't reach him.
You: Then I use my knight to break through your outer wall.
Me: I counter with exploding pawns!
You: I have flak jackets.
Me: Oh… Then I-
This goes on for several hours until one of use falls asleep.
Player 1: Redmonds opening, sign of a coward
Player 2: Blutarch's defense, sign of an idiot
DA NA NA NORELATIONWITHTHESUBJECT!
I keep losing…. cheap camping blue paratroop a sniper :(
I didn't laugh
Heavy can't be queen, he's too slow…
Bishop=Sniper
Scout=Pawn
King=Engineer
Knight=Demoman
Rook=Pyro
Queen=Spy
I would add something else for Medic, But I've never played TF2 and I ran out of pieces :/
Yeah, I stated that as a tho, that's why I think he does better as a tower, great damage in straight line.
<img src="http://www.behindthehype.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/revolver4.jpg" alt="some_text">
In every game of TF2 there is always a Spy, and there is always a victim. The more control the victim thinks he has, the more likely he is to get backstabbed. Gradually he will rage quit; I, as the Spy, just help him along.
OBJECTION!
…you really need courage to play that thing, wisdom to survive, and power to THROW THE DAMN BOARD AT YOUR OPPONENT!
sooo… Mr Water_fire_type, you owe me some rupees, I think…
A chess game that requires the skill of TF2?
Tell me folks. Where do I buy that?
Spy's sapping all my chest peaces
sometimes I light my pieces on fire and make them kamikaze pieces
A game for only the classiest of TF2 players…
tower should be sniper, he can shoot in straight lines
<img src="http://imgsrv.gardening.ktsa.com/image/ktsag/UserFiles/Image/P_Images/potato.jpg">
rel="nofollow">Relevant.
Bah, ever since Chess went F2P it’s just gone downhill.
Pyros = Pawns
(lawl W+M1 joke; I'm so funny.)
I come home from a long errand fraught with bullshit, and am greeted with the funniest thing I've seen in a while?
Oh Halolz, I love you. ♥
I would say the Sniper is a bishop, it stays behind other pieces to shoot from a more protected place.
CARD GAMES ON MOTOR- *head explodes*
3=======>
fine… *Hands over rupees*
weren't they already playing calvinball? Only a game played between a stuffed tiger and a 6 year old douchebag with ADD could feature gameplay this rich and varied.
+1 for the reference
and shame on you, people who didn't get it!!!
tsk tsk
…
Now I need to do this for science!
CARD GAMES ON MOTOR- *head also asplodes*
*You were killed by…*
BLOODY HELL! NO FAIR!
Ladies and mentlegen… The world's first Spycheck.
In the second panel the engineer has a bare left hand, in the last panel he put his glove back on he was so mad.
I will be a tester, no matter how badly this will hurt
Lack of social life: Check
Looks like I'm in
Spys: They Ruin Every Game!!!
The next time I'm loosing at chess, i will try this and see where it takes me
And incredibly awesome.
King and queen usually have hats…
Screw the brains, i have fire!
Entire team is pawns!
Artist is
HERE
http://pandadrake.deviantart.com/
have a nice day
That's interesting, because YOU ARE FIRED!
Yes. You. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye.
I can't be a test subject, but I can supply the bean counters
And the tumors
OMGWTFBBQ
Then the dominoes will come crashing down like a house of cards….
Checkmate.
What if I roll a 20?
No reason to trample his e-Peen….
INDEED.
ITS CALLED A ROOK
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKK!
Is it really camping if the sniper is 50 ft away?
Who sent all these Pawns to fight?
You buy more hats. Or keys to get sparkly hats.
So THAT's why they're in charge!
Not so fast!
<img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZzXevucGsR4/TAb7AaFZMSI/AAAAAAAAAP8/PK-Uz3S2Yik/s1600/you-just-activated-my-trap-card-500x375.jpg">
+1 for Cave Johnson
Since you made a YGO:TAS reference, I read your comment as British!Yugi.
Well therefore Kane is behind this.
THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!
Most logical comment on Halolz.
That's exactly what I thought of!
Somehow the fact that the spah snorts while laughing make it that much more funny for me.
BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE BABIES COME FROOOOOOOOOOOM.
….
Should I be proud of myself or enraged that I didn't figure out what you guys meant by W +M1 untill now?
Indubitibly.
It's like how I used to call Clubs "clovers".
Admit it, they do look like shamroks, don't they?
Clearly they weren't out classed.
Trample? Man, that must hurt.
Tell me the logic, in which a post that shows a text triforce gets downthumbed like there's no tomorrow because it shows no relation to the current subject at hand, while a post that just shows a picture of a potato, which also has no relation to the subject, gets thumbed up 9 times.
Chess fetish?
DEM BLOODSUCKING LAWYERS
Portal 2 tangent, that's how.
Pleasure doing business with you, Mr W…
IT'S A TRAP!
Potatoes are awesome.
I really wanted to throw that in there, too.
Thanks! I updated it!