The Cave Johnson Combustible Lemon Launcher

Normally I’m skeptical about new weapon designs for TF2… but in this case I have to say MAKE IT! MAKE IT NOW!
Cave Johnson. We’re done here!
By forte-girl7, can’t remember who sent this in!

Blog Widget by LinkWithin

Posted by Shawn Handyside on May 4, 2011 · 5:10 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (328 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...
Artistic, Cray-Z Crossovers, Explosives, Heavy Weapons, Portal, Tasty Treats, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software

· Leave a comment (96 Comments)


96 Responses to “The Cave Johnson Combustible Lemon Launcher”

  1. Lordshadow on May 4th, 2011 5:14 pm

    I'm not entirely sure this would be how Cave Johnson would design this. It seems a little too…. practical. That is unless it costs $400,000 to fire the lemons for 12 seconds. Then that seems more up Cave's alley.

  2. Doc_ock_rokc on May 4th, 2011 5:14 pm

    Someone needs to make this a Flare gun skin NOW!

  3. Timey16 on May 4th, 2011 5:19 pm

    Someone needs to make this a Demoman Launcher NOW!

  4. Kinockun on May 4th, 2011 5:19 pm

    GLaDOS: Yeah, take the lemons!
    Put this in portal 3 instead of the portal gun. XD

  5. Jones-250 on May 4th, 2011 5:19 pm

    This is what i hear in my mind: yes, Yes, YES!

  6. Jones-250 on May 4th, 2011 5:20 pm

    Have to make an prerecorded message to my engineers about that one. We´re done here.

  7. Sandbag on May 4th, 2011 5:22 pm
  8. therandombear on May 4th, 2011 5:22 pm

    sadly no lemon projectile skin either.

  9. razorman715 on May 4th, 2011 5:25 pm

    I just came……………………………………. down to halolz and checked out this awsome post!

  10. Sceptilianblade on May 4th, 2011 5:25 pm


  11. Lordshadow on May 4th, 2011 5:25 pm

    You know, I could have a real PARTY with this thing.

    <img src=""&gt;

  12. HughbertEsq on May 4th, 2011 5:37 pm

    "B-b-but I asked you not to.. to *whimper*"
    Heavy: "CRY SOME MOAR!"
    Futtershy: *THE STARE*

  13. ChocoMongoose on May 4th, 2011 5:38 pm

    What makes me a good Lemoman?

  14. El_bruno on May 4th, 2011 5:38 pm
  15. Lordshadow on May 4th, 2011 5:38 pm

    You know before when I was talking about having a party? That was a reference to lemonparty. I’m sorry. When you didn’t react, I was afraid that it had sailed right over your head, and then this apology would’ve sounded insane. That’s why I had to talk about lemonparty a second time just now.

  16. Tobikun on May 4th, 2011 5:39 pm

    I don't want your damn lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the guy who's going to burn your base down………WITH THE LEMONS!

    ^First post in a long while and THIS is all I can come up with. I replaced one word -sits in corner-

  17. MC Ninja on May 4th, 2011 5:41 pm

    The only thing missing is a lemon hat.

  18. Lordshadow on May 4th, 2011 5:46 pm

    And then Rainbow dash captures and delivers the intelligence in ten seconds flat.

    Ok, I've got some conceptualization going on here.

    Rainbow Dash = Scout
    Rarity = Spy
    Applejack = Engineer
    Spike = …. maybe demoman?
    Fluttershy = Medic
    Pinkie Pie = Hell if I know. Maybe pyro?
    Twilight Sparkle = Sniper maybe?
    Celestia = Announcer

  19. Chimera17 on May 4th, 2011 5:49 pm

    First post, ever, and there is no need to change any of Cave's dialogue. Even if it is totally out of context, it will always be both relevant and awesome. And insane.

  20. MasqueNoMercy on May 4th, 2011 5:50 pm

    take the lemons, grind'em up with some moon rocks, make a gel out of it! call it ignition gel, torches anything it touches. remember napalm? its like that but it leaves the sweet taste of vengeance behind.

    cave johnson, we're done here

  21. Bobomberman on May 4th, 2011 5:54 pm

    Our lemons will blot out the sun!

  22. Tobikun on May 4th, 2011 5:55 pm

    -smacks- Don't go giving them any ideas! Are you daft man!?

  23. Bobomberman on May 4th, 2011 5:55 pm

    Needs more combustion.

  24. nemb94 on May 4th, 2011 6:00 pm

    That's not a lemon that's a orange…. we sell them too

  25. Lordshadow on May 4th, 2011 6:04 pm

    No, no, I'm pretty sure that is, in fact, the Aperture Science Hand-held Incendiary Citrus Device.

  26. invadingduck on May 4th, 2011 6:08 pm


  27. Jade Catima on May 4th, 2011 6:09 pm

    Why are you using a Grammar Hammer when there's a perfectly good Combustible Lemon Launcher right there?

  28. Haeso5 on May 4th, 2011 6:11 pm

    Hello, this is Life. While the Lemon Launcher, which I have called LL for the sake of convience, Has the lemons on the chart. I do understand that those aren't included, but…
    WHY AREN'T THEY MY LEMONS?! I PAYED DAMN GOOD MONEY FOR THOSE LEMONS, AND YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE ME CREDIT! You know what… I give up. Cave, Burn down my house. I dare you.

  29. ThePinkSpartan on May 4th, 2011 6:12 pm

    Demoman launcher. Lemons set targets on fire, but the player is more vulnerable to… let's say falling damage.

  30. ThePinkSpartan on May 4th, 2011 6:17 pm

    Explaining the joke further kills the joke.

  31. HughbertEsq on May 4th, 2011 6:18 pm

    Rainbow Dash= Soldier
    Flutterhy= Heavy
    Scootaloo= Scout
    Sniper= TS
    according to the likes of this guy

  32. HughbertEsq on May 4th, 2011 6:24 pm

    Don't you mean


  33. Bobomberman on May 4th, 2011 6:26 pm

    You just shot your joke in the face… with a combustible lemon launcher.

  34. TheRedGrunt on May 4th, 2011 7:11 pm

    When life gives you lemons…….blow shit up.

  35. seanhl on May 4th, 2011 7:19 pm


  36. El_bruno on May 4th, 2011 7:20 pm

    Weird….. how could vengeance taste good after a napalm attack if it's supposed to be dish best served cold?

  37. seanhl on May 4th, 2011 7:22 pm

    GOD DAMMIT you beat me to linking him to hel… er, tvtropes

  38. seanhl on May 4th, 2011 7:26 pm

    why, of all the things to blow up, would you blow up FECES I think someone has a good response to that

  39. Puflwiz on May 4th, 2011 7:28 pm

    Imagine if each one was a mini-nuke

  40. seanhl on May 4th, 2011 7:29 pm

    wouldn't it be a sour taste, or has aperture science found a way to grow SWEET, combustible lemons

  41. Sceptilianblade on May 4th, 2011 7:32 pm

    We seem to be getting that a lot lately, don't we?

  42. Uzumakiclan43 on May 4th, 2011 7:52 pm

    And the best part?

    Once you're out of ammo, you can still use it as a club!

  43. Zyquux on May 4th, 2011 7:55 pm

    It was intended to be a replacement for the Demoman, but changed it to be a Flare Gun replacement. She has two other items to make a Portal Pyro Pack. Hopefully Valve notices.

  44. CriticalQuit on May 4th, 2011 8:13 pm

    Somebody make this a skin for the Demoman's grenade launcher.

    In the words of The Arbiter from Unforgotten Realms, "LEMON GRENADE!"

  45. Red on May 4th, 2011 8:24 pm

    I had some schematics for a combustible lemon….
    It was sort of 50% lemon 50% molotov cocktail and 50% hand grenade

    It would have looked like this:
    <img src="; alt="" />

  46. Red on May 4th, 2011 8:25 pm

    or shoot portals… the weapon does look familiar.

  47. TheAceOfSkulls on May 4th, 2011 8:36 pm

    I'm beginning to think Cave must have sponsored my company's founders until they were able to take off the ground. It would certainly explain why I have a crate of these labeled "Shower Curtain Cleaners" in storage.

    Thankfully, we've at least learned not to build with asbestos… for the executive offices.

  48. KZN02 on May 4th, 2011 8:41 pm

    How do you like them … lemons?

  49. Armetron on May 4th, 2011 8:44 pm

    Demoman is now testing for Aperture Science

  50. smartmonkey on May 4th, 2011 8:44 pm

    Grammar Combustible Lemon Launcher?

  51. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on May 4th, 2011 8:56 pm

    Yeah, that's a gift. Open it and you'll find cake.

    I wonder how Abstergo's handling with those portal armed assassins…

  52. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on May 4th, 2011 8:56 pm

    Guess who has combustible lemons in their D&D game now!

    All I need is a reason to flip out and use them.

  53. Ryu_Bonkosi on May 4th, 2011 9:22 pm

    Having combustible lemons isn't reason enough?

  54. Sceptilianblade on May 4th, 2011 9:51 pm

    Grammar Launcher for short?

  55. Lord of Chaos on May 4th, 2011 9:55 pm

    We shall burn their houses down! WITH SCIENCE LEMONS!!

  56. Lord of Chaos on May 4th, 2011 9:56 pm

    (flames rise behind)

  57. Lord of Chaos on May 4th, 2011 9:57 pm

    And their goes my time. Meh, it's not like I could just go on PSN or somethin'.

  58. Lord of Chaos on May 4th, 2011 10:00 pm

    Do you know how they made those lemons?

  59. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on May 4th, 2011 10:24 pm

    You know how revenge is a dish best served cold?

    Here at Aperture Science, we put that to the test. Guess what we found out…

    Give up?

    We have a new recipe! Revenge isn't best served cold; it's best served with a large dose of Aperture Science Combustible Lemons. We took your favorite fruit, added a little plastic explosive, solid potassium, and napalm to the mix. Now, instead of stabbing someone in the back, set them on fire, with the lemons that life gives to you.

    This is our little way of sticking to the man.

    Aperture Science, peace out, bitches!

  60. sleepingdragon8 on May 4th, 2011 10:28 pm
  61. sleepingdragon8 on May 4th, 2011 10:29 pm

    I LOL'd

  62. sleepingdragon8 on May 4th, 2011 10:30 pm

    Like a mine field around here!

  63. Red on May 4th, 2011 10:45 pm

    Oh, you can't see the mechanics of it.
    There would have been a button hidden by the bit on top, which would have initiated the timer,
    you then throw the lemon… and after 3 seconds… IGNITION!!!

  64. Dash12345678 on May 4th, 2011 11:00 pm

    Everyone quick, spam the image to Gabe's email account! Worst case scenario he'll find a way to troll his customers more.

  65. Nyoron on May 4th, 2011 11:11 pm

    SWEEEEEEt, SWEEEEEET, SWEET VICTORY, YEAH!! DID i really just make a spongebob reference? FML

  66. Nyoron on May 4th, 2011 11:13 pm

    Looks like this gun is so sweet…..


    …'s sour.

  67. Dr. Borok on May 4th, 2011 11:14 pm

    Now we need SPACE LEMONS!

  68. Nyoron on May 4th, 2011 11:15 pm

    Well, i just came………………………from around the city block to tell you something. AWESOME POSTS ON HALOLZBIKES

  69. ProfessorLuigi on May 4th, 2011 11:17 pm


  70. ProfessorLuigi on May 4th, 2011 11:24 pm

    NO Rainbow dash should defanately be scout.

  71. Jimmy on May 4th, 2011 11:25 pm

    I just came………………………………to disinfect everything on HALOLZ with my CUMBUSTABLE LEMON LAUNCHER.


  72. Jimmy on May 4th, 2011 11:26 pm

    Combustible lemon cake in space?

    Make it so.

  73. Red on May 4th, 2011 11:58 pm

    do you think CAVE JOHNSON has time for grammar hammers?

  74. Nyoron on May 5th, 2011 12:01 am

    I just came……………………………………………………………………………..literally. No, i was just kidding. Or was i….?

  75. TheTopHatKid on May 5th, 2011 12:23 am

    I came…
    to ask why you guys are including the word "just" in your sentences.

  76. Bobomberman on May 5th, 2011 1:57 am

    What? You guys are crazy, I would never send anyone troll rel="nofollow">links

  77. Gamerofloz on May 5th, 2011 3:57 am

    I want this gun. I want this gun, now.

  78. TheSpaceCore on May 5th, 2011 7:43 am


  79. TheSpaceCore on May 5th, 2011 7:46 am

    Space? Did someone say space? Lemons in space? Gotta go to space. Go get lemons. Gotta go to space.

  80. MasqueNoMercy on May 5th, 2011 10:21 am

    i would have never known if it werent for the fact that you just said it…

  81. ProfessorLuigi on May 5th, 2011 1:33 pm

    I've just been informed by Tobikun that I should NOT have mentioned lemon hats.
    That gave me an idea. Make more suggestions about lemon hats!
    I pay the bills around here, I can say anything I want about them.

  82. TheKingOfGraves on May 5th, 2011 2:31 pm

    Fuck both of you with the remains of my burnt down house.

  83. TheUnknownNoob on May 5th, 2011 2:53 pm



  84. Jones-250 on May 5th, 2011 3:32 pm

    Both- at the same time…

  85. Jones-250 on May 5th, 2011 3:36 pm


  86. Nyoron on May 5th, 2011 5:57 pm


  87. Nyoron on May 5th, 2011 5:59 pm

    I came……..
    to tell you that i don't know why.

  88. Nyoron on May 5th, 2011 6:05 pm

    This. Is. Relevant. rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow"> … Couldnt really find a video with an english title or that wasnt filmed so here ya' go.

  89. munkyface710 on May 5th, 2011 9:46 pm

    If valve had thought this through, there would have been a lemon gun in TF2 a loooong time ago.

  90. Jcranjel on May 7th, 2011 3:31 am

    This is the most amazing gun ever. I'll take 50 of them.

  91. PortalMan118 on May 7th, 2011 6:35 pm

    I smell DLC…..and fire….

  92. TBman256 on May 7th, 2011 11:26 pm

    HOLY SH*T!!! I just remembered on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee joked about valve making a “tube that shot lemons”.

  93. ray10k on May 9th, 2011 2:37 am
  94. nighten2_0 on May 25th, 2011 7:28 pm

    but wasent PSN down… you might have no money now… credit cards and all…

  95. nighten2_0 on May 25th, 2011 7:31 pm


  96. nighten2_0 on May 25th, 2011 7:33 pm

    it's a guy… OR IS IT?!?!

Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!