For a game with so few characters, I was surprised to see not one but TWO alignment charts for Portal 2 in my inbox today!
By Metalbane and Kyekifino respectively
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 28, 2011 · 10:42 PM
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Categories: Charts & Graphs, PC, Playstation, Portal, Robots, Valve Software, Xbox 360 · Leave a comment (124 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
Is there room for Chaotic Stupid?
It doesn't behoove an alignment chart to have the same person on there twice. Unless it's Batman.
Why? 'cause he's the goddamn Batman, that's why.
weird to see the crazy scientist is lawful good. When it should bee chaotic good. You know form all the pills his taken.
The people at Aperture Science really know what they're doing. They've covered all kinds of human personalities with their AI programing!
"Oh no, this is the part where he kills us."
"Hello, this is the part where I kill you!"
CHAPTER 9: THE PART WHERE HE KILLS YOU
Achievement Unlocked: The Part Where He Kills You
… I wonder if he's gonna try and kill you.
Potato Glados = less evil than Glados with actual power.
really? i thought he was going to bake us a cake.
You fucker. Don't you dare make me waste another 14 hours on TV Tropes like I did last month.
No, there is no room for your TV Tropes trap link.
Massive Spoilers
That is the part where he kills you
End of Spoilers
Isn't that a synonym for "Cave Johnson"?
The Room Where All The Robots Scream At You
What? Hell no. He never promised cake.
However, he did happen to see a beautiful and not at all irradiated deer outside just a moment ago…
Seeing Mr. Cantima's comment, I feel I must take it a step further:
GLaDOS: "this is the part where he kills us"
Wheatley: "hello! this is the part where I kill you!"
*pops up on screen "The Part Where He Kills You" *
Chell: *jumps**
*read: "apple"
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b217/strangethi…
How DARE they call the companion cube true neutral? It is the embodiment of all that is good in this world, nay, this universe!
*escape the part where he kills you*
Oh, no come back!
…Oh, you actually came back. I didn't plan for that. Um… the deathtrap can't be reset, so how about you just… jump in that pit.
(Oh, the lovely things that are in that pit!)
Halolz alignment chart:
Chaotic Evil:
<img src="http://i51.tinypic.com/zj8ap2.png" border="0" />
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!
*Never played Portal 1 OR Portal 2, but I watched the ending*
Fuck my life, I'm such a dork. What can I say? I like video games cause they're like stories. I can't resist a good story…even if I spoil it for myself.
maybe im thinking of something else then
*flashback to fake door that apparently had cake behind it set up by GLaDoS*
i just had a feeling cake would be invloved, i mean, what other things would be at the bottom of that pit
Yup.
So goddamn true.
So Adventure Sphere is a Black Belt in Karate, and Larate… but not Jarate?
As an enthusiast of Dungeons & Dragons, I just had a braingasm.
Give me a moment, I can't see because my eyes were blinded by the sheer amount of awesome I just saw.
Adventure Sphere wasn't manufactured in Australia.
Wheatley.
Neutral.
Tried to kill you all.
What the fuck am I reading.
Also: TURRETS ARE NOT EVIL!
THEY ARE JUST MISUNDERSTOOD! ;.;
You forgot the most important part! D:
Achievement Description: This Is That Part.
I dont know whether to like this comment because you enjoy a good gaming storyline like I do, or to dislike it because you have never played either portal…
universe? universe has space! space! space! I like space! space! do you like space? space! I like space! hey! hey! hey! did i mention i like space?
If being chaotic evil means being voiced by Mike Patton, I really need to start barbecuing more orphans.
peelz? peelz here?
First she said she'll give you cake, then he says he's going to kill you
Valve's tendency to break promises has followed into its game
its like navi
BUT IN SPACE!!!!
cave johnson is not stupid
he is an admirible man who should be respected
chaotic, yes.
but not stupid
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: The part where Shawn trolls you
The true definition of neutral evil. A metal golum forced to kill because that is all it knows.
Poor Poor compan- I mean turret.
Means it isn't MANN enough! Eh EH!
yes, because according to the developers, as soon as they are boxed, they are sent to the deboxer and are recycled.
Lawful Good- Louis
Neutral Good- Coach
Chaotic Good- Zoe
Lawful Neutral- Bill
True Neutral- Rochelle
Chaotic Neutral- Francis, Nick
Lawful Evil- Witch
Neutral Evil- Boomer
Chaotic Evil- Tank
Chaotic Stupid- Ellis
Lawful Good- The Heavy
Neutral Good- The Scout
Chaotic Good- The Demoman
Lawful Neutral- The Sniper
True Neutral- The Engineer
Chaotic Neutral- The Soldier
Lawful Evil- The Medic
Neutral Evil- The Spy
Chaotic Evil- The Pyro
Erm. Who's the lawful good on the second chart? I dont recognize him right off.
"This is that part"
He's the scientist that saved Chell in the Portal 2 preview comic Lab Rat. Read, and be edumacated! http://www.thinkwithportals.com/comic/
Doug Rattman, he's in the Portal comic which tied the ending of Portal 1 to 2 and told a bit of how GLaDOS came to "power"
Thank you.
I'd pirate it if I could…but I have a PC and a friend that tried to do it and ended up with a blue screen of death. I like the looks of the game but I need my laptop…(I have no money…damn economy…)
You mean there's a part where Shawn's not trolling us?
*Jumps into the bottomless pit, but somehow landed in a room full of Courage Kratos advice memes*
I ran into the crusher just to see if he would react. I was pleasently suprised.
NAVI S…..IN…..SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
I plan to follow in Mr Johnson's footsteps and throw lemons at people's houses to engulf them in flames.
Mike Patton voiced "The Darkness".
Yeah, Chaotic Evil is a fine label.
Yeah, I was so disappointed when Rick didn't mention Jarate. If he did, that would link the TF2 universe to the Half-Life universe! Now if only we could link in the L4D universe?
I feel like the defective turrets deserve some place on the second chart.
I half expected there to be something a that said "Still a lie." behind that door.
I'm in space dad! I'm so proud of you son. Are you space dad? Yes, now we are family.
What's your favorite thing about space? Mine is space!
Let me tell you a secret….Space.
Space? SPACE!
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!
Some people call it "Nowhere".
No, that would just be Neutral sad and unfortunate. Neutral Evil is people who commit evil for practical reasons, like the pay.
Kill the president or burn an orphanage? As long as the check clears.
On a serious note, Shawn's a surprisingly amazing troll, believe it or not.
He just never admits it.
ADRIAN BRODY
ADRIAN BRO-DY
ADRIAN BRODY
ADRIAN BRO-DY
Maybe the zombies were a byproduct of Black Mesa somehow …
Wait…
What if a headcrab got attached to a zombie….
GRAMATICA MARTELO!
*Zoey
I like how no one else seems o have noticed the Neutral Evil in the first chart gets shifted to Lawful Evil in the seccond chart, though this may be more so to charicter comparison
also: why isnt lawful good called Lawful Stupid
грамматики молотка!
*Be
He's going to kill you, and then he'll keep killing you, and then you'll be dead. And then he's going to kill you.
Wait… that's Demoman.
He's going to kill you, and kill you, and kill you.
…nope, Heavy.
Just pretend he's a TF2 character I guess.
Quite.
Also, I just saved you from a -1 troll.
You are GUILTY! Of being in space!
Off to Space Jail with you!
Weren't you listening during Portal 2? I forgot the exact words, but GLaDOS said something like, "I'm going to need to get a new hobby. Maybe reanimating the dead."
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
I'm in space.
Couldn't he be lawful evil? He's trolling us, but in a systematically way.
I'm going to point out… I just made a Cave Johnson mechanic for my next campaign. Lulz will ensue.
Troll? in the dungeon? +1's all around!
A machine created for the sole purpose of killing, with no mind of it's own to make any other decision? Well it sure as hell ain't True Neutral.
Sure that's the definition of Neutral Evil people that have a decision in the matter, but if you're mind controlled by a wizard into killing puppies then you still get hits to your alignment since YOU are in fact killing puppies, even if it isn't your decision. It's another version of Neutral Evil.
Was your parent there? Oh wait i forgot. They don't care about you.
WHAT!? But there isn't lots of space in prison.
That wud bee ai speling martello u doosh!
BETTER!
*jumps**
*read:"riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight i escaped you GLaDOS so i can escape him!and you! YES YOU YOU ARE DEAD!"
Oh SUURE!!! No sympathy for the dude without a job…I still got to watch other people play through YouTube…
>Comes to Halolz
>Sees DnD submission
>My face below
<img src="http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x15/Canadian_Boy62/Awesome_Face_bigger.png">
More Massive Spoilers
Wheatley is also Chells' father.
End Spoiler
Wheatley should be Neutral evil, who agrees?
*Give flamethrower*
Let's do our job now, for humanity!
You monster, Shawn.
*it's like navi,
but bearable
Pretty sure if you don't have a mind then you don't have an alignment, as its tied into conscious decisions, which would not be made from someone or something without free will.
Monster Manuel says that all Golems just have to be a type of Neutral so I guess it depends on the acts that the owner asks it to do, but I see your point. It's difficult to determine alignment when someone can't make the decision to do one thing or another.
others call it Limbo… not the game dam it…
same here…
that and interdimentional rapist tentical monsters
wait from what game? D & D?!
*facepalm*
PARADOX!
wow it's been some time since you comented… whats it like to be back? and where were you? TV Tropes?
true… The Darkness was Eviler than Evil.
IT CAUGHT ME!!!! HELP!!!! PULL ME BACK IN!
bad spelling is bad.
*holding Peelz* oh crud…
oddly…
same here fellow DnD player!
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNN!
I'd die happy if they made a replica space core and put in the valve lobby with the turret. So that everyone who sits there would have to put up with space rants and shooting noises every time they move.
I call witchcraft!
For science of course. As witchcraft will not be tolerated.
Because you have the rare player who can actually pull off a lawful good without being blinded by duty. Idealists can be real people too, you know.
At the very least, try watching the whole thing through, that's what I did (so I understand most of, if not all, of what is said here in the alignment charts)
W-w-wwwww-wait…you seem to be familiar somehow…
I'm going to challenge him to s troll off one of thesw days.
Did you listen to all that he said? Jumping down the pit afterwards allows for an
*spoilers* achievement unlock called "Pit Boss"
Description: Show the pit who's boss!
There's quite a few achievements that require yourself to be killed, obviously. I won't spoil the rest 'cause there are some hard ones to find!
You're actually right on that point, if only for one IRL reason (Warning: actual science and possible explanation of joke ahead):
Since space is a vaccum, YOU CANNOT HEAR THE CORE YOURSELF if you're still on earth as sound cannot travel through one!
…DON'T YOU DARE do that again to me Jimmy! That'd be Red's job this time IF someone has to do it!
…in other news, light can travel through a vaccum ('s why we see stars at night for example)
[Yeah, I thought a bit before posting this comment but I decided what the hell, you people probably won't know straight away what I'm talking about anyway. ~FieraDevilWings - Also remembers general knowledge]
SHAAAAAAAAAAWWWWN!
SHAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWN!!!!
Yep. I'm with you on that!!!
Can't play game? Read/watch/Charlie Sheen it.
I KNOW HIM!!! I…KNOW…HIM…
I see what you did there.
Chapter 9 -- The Part Where He Kills You.
"Oh no, this is the part where he kills us!!!"
"Hello, this is the part where I kill you!"
Achievement Unlocked -- Part Where He Kills You
SEE THE OBVIOUS SIGNS THAT KILLING IS IMMINENT.
WONDER IF THERE WILL BE CAKE.
Hint for one of them: Follow ALL of GLaDOS's instructions/advice.
Ooooooo, be sure to let us know how that turns out!
Not at all. It takes more power to be evil than the 1.1 volts the potato provides.
lol, didn't realize xD
Pun not intended
Charlie Sheen it, eh?
…
…
carp I'm getting ideas
(intentional carp)
…and didn't you own him? I mean, you HAVE battled against Red at least once, didn't you…oh, yeah, I forgot…you lost your Meganium there.
Why do I know this?
Because I happened to come across an "item" I never saw before on Mt. Coronet. Turns out that it's got your O.T., I.D. and came from Johto. Does that fit a description?
(…those must be strong winds…)
[You DO know what the hell the...wait there was a post on that ~Fiera, keeping you up-to-date in the brackets so they're rarely ever read]
Ah yes, that achievement (I took a look at some of them on Achievement Hunter). Forgot the name, but.
Also, Smash TV.
My DM just OK'd combustible lemons. Pretty much lemons filled with black powder.
More will come when we actually start playing.
No i was stranded on an island.Then i found out it was reds mountain island.so they sent me back…then i crashed and fell through some portals.
*You see a door that says "Bad Submission Shutdown Room. ALSO, FREE GOOD SUBMISSIONS*