What happens when you replace Wheatley’s dimwitted British charm with Bill’s angry old man voice? You get one cranky morality sphere, that’s what!
By MarphitimusBlackimus, submitted by several people

[VIDEO] What if Bill replaced Wheatley?

Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 26, 2011 · 2:30 AM

(291 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5)

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Categories:
Cray-Z Crossovers, Left 4 Dead, PC, Playstation, Portal, Robots, Valve Software, Video Clips, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (69 Comments)

906969 Responses2011-04-26+06%3A30%3A30Shawn+Handyside to “[VIDEO] What if Bill replaced Wheatley?”

Totema on April 26th, 2011 2:39 am

I'm pretty sure this was actually the original gameplay, and then Valve decided, "Nah we'll make him a British retard instead."
aimless_void on April 26th, 2011 2:42 am

This syncs up surprisingly well, but it still just doesn't really fit the Bill, y'know?
Totema on April 26th, 2011 3:00 am

That's not Wheatley. That's Bill. We sell him too.
Strike_low on April 26th, 2011 3:05 am

Bill here!
Ozymil on April 26th, 2011 3:05 am

I'm still waiting for a parody with Navi.
BasketGT on April 26th, 2011 3:06 am

(WARNING: Contains some spoilers for the ending of Portal 2)
I get it. Then the three corrupted personality cores you attach to him will be Francis, Zoey, and Louis. Just as those three cores were the death of Wheately, the same shall be of Bill(ley)!
AquaLink on April 26th, 2011 3:15 am

horse shit goddam bird!
Spolin on April 26th, 2011 3:30 am

Silly Bill, that's a panel not a tan- OH SHIT YES IT IS!
Bobomberman on April 26th, 2011 3:37 am

Crap, you stole what I was gonna say…
GameboyPATH on April 26th, 2011 3:38 am

Tank Johnson. We're done here.
Smirky on April 26th, 2011 3:40 am

I'll see peace back in Aperture if I gotta shut down every one of these turrets with my bare goddamn circuits!!
Tartaurus on April 26th, 2011 3:59 am

I would hate to see the tests he'd build…
Zyquux on April 26th, 2011 4:06 am

One thing's for sure: there won't be any stairs.
etBie on April 26th, 2011 4:12 am

Wheatley with Pinkie Pies Mind
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Henry_Wong on April 26th, 2011 4:45 am

Louis, the pillz obssessed core
"Pillz, I need Pillz here, daddy I have pillz *I am happy son*, Pillz Pillz, I really need Pillz, Pillz Pillz Pillz"
exchangerates on April 26th, 2011 4:51 am

I wouldn't call it an easy do-it-yourself job. Not that it's hard to throw one in, but if the backlash and preload aren't set correct the gears will howl something terrible.
primedawg9170 on April 26th, 2011 5:22 am

Not only that, but Bill comes equipped with hundreds of designer weapons such as shotguns, sniper rifles, a bat? an evening at the improv. (What idiot picked these?)
Guitauren Hero on April 26th, 2011 6:50 am

Whoa. What was a Tank doing there?! Kill him with….uhhh…Terminal Velocity! Yeah!
Marzen on April 26th, 2011 6:54 am

"Smoker!"

*Deadly neuro-toxin fills the room*
Axel X on April 26th, 2011 6:57 am

The only thing that could make this video better would be Cave Johnson's combustible lemons.
RespectfulGlove on April 26th, 2011 7:48 am

PILLS HEY LET'S GET PILLS CAN'T WAIT TO GET PILLS WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT PILLS mine is pills PILLS, TRIAL, PUTTING THE SYSTEM ON TRIAL, WITH PILLS, PILLS SYSTEM, ON TRIAL… GUILTY! FMFRHOR NOT GRABBIN SOME PILLS, GO TO PILLS JAIL.
smartmonkey on April 26th, 2011 8:08 am

Watch out. I hear GLADOS crying.
razorman715 on April 26th, 2011 8:56 am

Then instead of shooting the moon you shoot at a deserted pharmacy with tons of PILLS.
Gearheadmk2 on April 26th, 2011 9:01 am

Now we need some Francis as Adveture Core dialog. I sure as hell cant think of any.
ZeikHunter on April 26th, 2011 9:44 am

Now, let's see what happens when you replace Wheatley with C-3PO.

Oh, that's right. 343 Guilty Spark.
HughbertEsq on April 26th, 2011 10:09 am

Demopan?
HughbertEsq on April 26th, 2011 10:10 am

*runs up to Ozymil and punches repeatedly in the face*
NONONONONONONONONONONONONO
*grabs by the neck and pulls him close*
we mustn't give them the idea…
HughbertEsq on April 26th, 2011 10:13 am

Zoey as that Intellectual Sphere?
Nope can't imagine that…
HughbertEsq on April 26th, 2011 10:14 am

Holy Ass-ticles where did that tank come from?!
VigilanteSpider on April 26th, 2011 10:24 am

I think Francis would have been more entertaining.
"I hate portals!"
"I hate scientific tests!"
"I hate Aperture Science!"
"I ha--" at this point you fling him into the incinerator.
"Good thing I'm indestructible."
Rain on April 26th, 2011 10:29 am

GLaDOS did said she's taking "resurrecting the dead" as a new hobby
Gearheadmk2 on April 26th, 2011 10:30 am

Umm…
IDK, Ellis?
Trainer_Black on April 26th, 2011 10:38 am

"Panel! Panel!"
"Companion Cube! Turn off your flashlight!"
"I hear a turret around here…"
"Portal here!"
"I hate un-stationary scaffolds."
Rain on April 26th, 2011 10:40 am

Then Spitter Acid is the Propulsion Gel and Boomer Bile is the Repulsion Gel?
Lordshadow on April 26th, 2011 11:21 am

I believe the specific wording was "reanimating."
Lordshadow on April 26th, 2011 11:24 am

Valve Timeline:
Combine take over earth, beaten back by Gordon Freeman, meanwhile, Chell defeats GLaDOS for the first time before being taken away by a party escort bot back to a relaxation chamber.

9999999 minutes later (approximately 19.03 years). Chell awakens the second time to escape Aperture Science with Wheatley, reactivating GLaDOS who claims to take up reanimating the dead as a hobby.

Within two years with the help of testing it on the humans found in co-op, GLaDOS has invented a biological compound derived from deadly neurotoxin and headcrab DNA that causes humans infected by it to come back to "life" and become extremely violent.

As these subjects are unsuitable for testing, she release them from the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. These diseased individuals are later found and subdued by local authorities, who, believing this to be some sort of illness, send them off to Mercy Hospital.
aimless_void on April 26th, 2011 11:24 am

Ah, dammit, who shoved me out here? Hey, is that the old man? Are you trying to take him down? Shit, I always knew he would power trip like this. Well, you step back, I've been wantin' to do this for ages. What? Ahhhh, I can't punch anything like this! I hate spheres. I hate -being- a sphere. Still, maybe you could chuck me at him hard enough to do some damage! C'mon, just chuck me right at him! Hey what are you doing with those? I told you to-- Wo-ho-hoooahh! Yeah! Blast his wrinkly old ass! Ha haa, how do you like that, old man!? Right in your stupid beard! This chick's got some fire power! Hey, what are you, aww no, don't stick me that ! Damn it. Well…it's a good thing I'm indestructable.
Lordshadow on April 26th, 2011 12:09 pm

Then who was Conversion Gel?
Lordshadow on April 26th, 2011 12:10 pm

God damn it. They told me if I used that gun I WOULD DIE.
meinmattias on April 26th, 2011 12:13 pm

Tanks always appear at the worst times.
invadingduck on April 26th, 2011 12:19 pm

Bill is Still Alive?
Ataeru on April 26th, 2011 12:43 pm

YES, we must give them the idea!
Alpar on April 26th, 2011 12:58 pm

Francis, is there anything you DON'T hate?

"…You know what I don't hate?

Well I don't either."
Alpar on April 26th, 2011 12:59 pm

Surprisingly now after Valve only wanted him gone.
Alpar on April 26th, 2011 12:59 pm

Bill: Ah, screw yer zombie apocalypse, I'm movin to Aperture.
CriticalQuit on April 26th, 2011 1:41 pm

Need an incinerator here!
C__F on April 26th, 2011 2:17 pm

I see he heeds what he's been told.
Zyquux on April 26th, 2011 2:25 pm

Actually, the 99999 is measured in days. It's well over 19 years. Here's the timeline of the Half-Life universe.
Zyquux on April 26th, 2011 2:25 pm

Molotovs?
smashpro1 on April 26th, 2011 2:41 pm

Or Ellis.
"I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith used one of them portal guns?"
Jade Catima on April 26th, 2011 2:56 pm

They already have Bill in Portal 2. Except for he called himself "Rick" for some reason…
Marzen on April 26th, 2011 2:59 pm

This comment deserves a -5 why?
ProfessorLuigi on April 26th, 2011 3:07 pm

remember kids! Smoking kills!
ProfessorLuigi on April 26th, 2011 3:13 pm

Hey dad! I have pills!
(deeper voice)
I'm so proud of you.
(Normal voice)
Hey dad, are you grabbin' peels?
(Deeper voice)
Yes. Now we are a family again.
HughbertEsq on April 26th, 2011 4:02 pm

I was referring to personality, as Zoey fails to strike me in any shape or form as one who could be recognized as exceedingly intelligent were it not for the zombie apocalypse
Bobomberman on April 26th, 2011 4:04 pm

I was wondering the same. This tends to happen to me… a lot, and on that note I'm off to complete my annual Troll hunt (I'll kill them ALL!)
HughbertEsq on April 26th, 2011 4:05 pm

there must have been some "experimentation" with the repulsion, propulsion and conversion gel back there
Marzen on April 26th, 2011 4:06 pm

Hahah, yeeees, that's TOTALLY healthy thinking there. "They voted my comment down on the internet? I'LL KILL THEM!"
HughbertEsq on April 26th, 2011 4:19 pm

But-SPOILERS- what happened to the original Aperture Labs? id the combine take over America or just pass it by?
SO MANY QUESTIONS!
AAARRRRGH!
GABEN
Y U NO REFERENCE BOREALIS IN PORTAL 2?
Kevvo on April 26th, 2011 4:20 pm

"We ain't got time for this, Ellis."
GigaCrashMan on April 27th, 2011 12:04 am

tanks are the new sentrys!
HughbertEsq on April 27th, 2011 4:08 am

HOW IS THIS COMMENT LINGERING IN THE MID-SECTION?!?!
HughbertEsq on April 27th, 2011 4:11 am

oH gOD…
HughbertEsq on April 27th, 2011 4:12 am

No idea wat your'e on about, still -1'ed
Lordshadow on April 27th, 2011 10:42 am

THROWING A LEMON
seanhl on April 27th, 2011 10:43 am

well considering EVERYTHING that that sphere says is absolute crap, it could work…
femaxunit on April 27th, 2011 8:55 pm

LEMONS OVER HERE!
femaxunit on April 27th, 2011 8:57 pm

GAME THAT NOBODY MAKES JOKES ABOUT FTW!!!!!!!!…..right? you, you guys? ANYBODY HERE!?…. sigh.
femaxunit on April 27th, 2011 8:59 pm

I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE STAIRS DOG! I WARNED YOU BRO!