A problem of portals in real life...

Insane scientific testing calls for insane scientific protective gear! Those boots literally work like magic! Also after playing Portal 2 for a bit, I couldn’t help but  wonder what keeps Chell’s head from getting bashed open when she slams into the ceiling using an “aerial faith plate” over and over. Oh well just another one of life’s mysteries I guess!
By rjbman

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 19, 2011 · 8:51 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (221 votes, average: 2.88 out of 5)
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Portal, Science/Math, Valve Software

· Leave a comment (49 Comments)


49 Responses to “A problem of portals in real life…”

  1. C__F on April 19th, 2011 8:55 am

    "But yeah, there's boots that will be able to take that stress."

    There we go, problem solved. Screw logic, I have utility footwear. *Leans backwards; falls out of an airplane*

  2. Leo E. on April 19th, 2011 9:04 am

    There's an app a boot for that.

  3. Chris on April 19th, 2011 9:05 am

    Isn't the problem with portals in real life the part about the fucking portals in real life?

  4. Rain on April 19th, 2011 9:11 am

    But there's nothing that can stop your organs from coming out of your ass

  5. smartmonkey on April 19th, 2011 10:00 am

    Problems gravity?

  6. madhatter0082 on April 19th, 2011 10:04 am

    Well, the answer is obvious. We need to jump into infinite portals with a parachute.

  7. HughbertEsq on April 19th, 2011 10:14 am

    Wow… three uploads in one day?

  8. Queen of Souls (DT) on April 19th, 2011 10:31 am

    Here at Aperture Science, we would like to point out that we laugh at the face of Physics, as we were studying how to build quantum space holes during college. This petty little argument, might I add, has already been made moot due to the fact that we've tried the boots! Guaranteed!

    Suck it.

    Aperture Science

  9. MorningMoon on April 19th, 2011 11:21 am

    Duh, they were made of ANTI-GRAVITY! 8D

  10. invadingduck on April 19th, 2011 11:31 am

    "Science is just another word for magic."

  11. HughbertEsq on April 19th, 2011 11:41 am

    Problem BP?

  12. BoxeyBrown on April 19th, 2011 12:01 pm

    Boots! Don't worry, valve's got everything covered…

  13. Roflcopter419 on April 19th, 2011 12:21 pm
  14. seanhl on April 19th, 2011 1:20 pm

    I know, I mean because of the first game all cake is fictitious, now EVERYTHING is a lie, I think I may even be a lie, I certainly know Candlejack is a…

  15. Funkalicous on April 19th, 2011 2:07 pm

    Wait, so would every human have to wear these boots?

    …what has been seen cannot be unseen.

  16. MasqueNoMercy on April 19th, 2011 2:36 pm

    theres only fall damage, no velocity damage… i like halo reach's use of velocity damage.
    speed up fast enough with in monitor mode and turn back into a spartan and you will splatter yourself against a wall, ceiling, floor, whatever :D

    so much for that technically advanced suit of armor when a pair of fancy shoes can do better

  17. MasqueNoMercy on April 19th, 2011 2:37 pm

    yeah, you know, like no one hears your arguments anymore? like when you moot a tv. it bottles my mind to think that they are the same word!

  18. Dr.Panda on April 19th, 2011 3:23 pm

    F***ing Portals…how do they work?

  19. Wetmang on April 19th, 2011 4:24 pm

    Because bent sticks of plastic and Apple's new Iboot make you invincible

  20. Darth_Destro on April 19th, 2011 5:40 pm

    Oh, I see. You think you are so smart with you're terminal velocity and air resistance. Well, if you're so smart explain fucking magnets!

  21. TheTopHatKid on April 19th, 2011 6:57 pm


  22. Totema on April 20th, 2011 2:14 am

    Just wear your Gunboats, you namby-pamby lab boy.

  23. Marzen on April 20th, 2011 6:59 am

    Those boots don't fix the fact that sometimes when I fly out of portals, I SLAM MY FUCKING HEAD INTO A CEILING.

    What, did GLaDOS fit us with an invisible helmet or something?

  24. tmotom on April 20th, 2011 8:12 am

    I would imagine that would be like stepping on a grav panel in Dead Space 2

  25. TomQuoVadis on April 20th, 2011 11:35 pm

    The obvious answer is that Chell is secretly a cartoon character. Laws of Physics only apply to her when convenient.

  26. adiosToreador on April 21st, 2011 4:08 am

    ok theres more than one problem with portals they defy the most basic laws of physics

    imagine the following scenario:

    [IMG ]http://i55.tinypic.com/28srfhx.jpg[/IMG]

    here we have the test subject trapped in the classic infinite fall portal arrangement, now imagine that in common troll physics fashion, we attach a generator to the test subject, we would have, thats right, INFINITE POWER (u jelly power companies?)

    [IMG ]http://i51.tinypic.com/30clt93.jpg[/IMG]

    according to the law of conservation of energy this scenario is impossible since energy cannot be CREATED or destroyed

    looking back into the infinite fall portal arrangement, the test subject shouldnt even be able to fall at all

    to ilustrate this think of that portal arrangement as some sort of tunnel

    [IMG ]http://i51.tinypic.com/fclhex.jpg[/IMG]

    now as you may know gravity, the force behind the test subject's falling is natural phenomenon by which physical bodies attract with a force proportional to their mass, according to Newton's law of universal gravitation, that force is equal to:

    [img ]http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/0/f/3/0f36df929ac9d711a8ba8c5658c3bfee.png[/img]

    this means that there are 2 objects in this scenario, 1 of then is the test subject and the other is an object of great mass (enough to mimic earth's mass) at the end of the "tunnel", BUT WAIT the tunnel is INFINITE, which means that even if such 2nd object exists its mass must be also infinite in order to be able to have ANY effect on the test subject, such thing doesnt exist and the area between both portals is devoid of gravity

    but the test subject wouldnt just float in between both portals he/she wouldnt be attracted the center of the object with the bigger mass in this scenario, the earth, he/she will be attracted to the area AROUND the portal

    [IMG ]http://i54.tinypic.com/w1v0y.jpg[/IMG]

    also that image is not funny

  27. Disko42 on July 23rd, 2011 10:45 am

    Someone doesn't understand the concept of relative inertia.
    When you shot the other portal to go a direction, your direction doesn't change relative to you, it changes relative to your surroundings. You're still moving along the same path, it's just been redirected.

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