My trainer is different from other trainers. My trainer is in the bottom percent of trainers. Okay bye...

At first I was like… how would Joey’s Rattata be able to use his cell phone AND speak English? Of course then I remembered… he’s in the top fucking percentage of all ratatta!
By Kyattsuai [Burn The Internet], submitted by Zyquux

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 18, 2011 · 12:34 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (209 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)
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Artistic, Incoming Transmission, Nintendo, Obnoxious, Pokémon

· Leave a comment (92 Comments)


92 Responses to “My trainer is in the bottom percent of trainers.”

  1. smashpro1 on April 18th, 2011 12:39 am
  2. Jimmy on April 18th, 2011 12:42 am

    Reenactment to this post (based on actual events):

    At the entrance to the Pokemon League:

    Me: "WTF, Typhlosion!?! Why did you make me lose this match? You had a type advantage!!! I'm severely disappointed in you. We we get home we are going to train like we've never tra--"


    Me: "Hello?"
    Youngster Joey: "My Rattata is in the top percentile of all Rattata. Ok bye!!!"

  3. GameboyPATH on April 18th, 2011 12:44 am

    Joey's only a pawn in Rattata's plans for world domination.

  4. madhatter0082 on April 18th, 2011 12:54 am

    He may be in the bottom percent of trainers, but he apparently wins enough to pay the cell phone bill so he can call you ALL THE DAMN TIME.

  5. Totema on April 18th, 2011 12:58 am

    When you're in the top percentage of Rattata, your limbs can elongate like those of Reed Richards.

  6. aimless_void on April 18th, 2011 12:58 am

    You might ask yourself, "Why does a top-percentage Rattata stick with a bottom-percentage trainer like Joey?"

    Well let me tell you something: that Rattata sees Joey's true potential. That Rattata BELIEVES.

  7. Nick Soapdish on April 18th, 2011 1:13 am

    Joey's Rattata also doesn't like shorts. They are not comfy and easy to wear. (They make it difficult to use Tail Whip).

  8. BoxeyBrown on April 18th, 2011 1:15 am

    Too bad pokemon can't release trainers…

    If that Rattata is in the top percent now, just imagine what it could do with a good trainer. Anyone else thinking pokemon pink?

  9. Zyquux on April 18th, 2011 1:26 am

    Whoa, posted after less than a day of being submitted?! Thanks, Shawn!

  10. Pringer X on April 18th, 2011 1:30 am

    "At first I was like… how would Joey’s Rattata be able to use his cell phone AND speak English?"

    he obviously used metronome.

  11. invadingduck on April 18th, 2011 2:04 am

    Problem is, nobody is a good enough trainer for Joey's Ratata. NOBODY.

  12. Ryu_Bonkosi on April 18th, 2011 2:12 am

    *Joey walks in for his interview with Team Rocket, Rattata following him.*

    "We have looked over your resume and we don't think you are Team Rocket material. Would you please leave."

    *Turns and walks towards the door, Rattata following.*


    *Turns back.*

    "Your Rattata is the best we have ever seen, he can stay."

  13. KZN02 on April 18th, 2011 2:15 am

    So who or what was the Rattata talking to on the phone?

  14. AuraMaster on April 18th, 2011 2:30 am

    Joey's Rattata used Chatter!
    It's super annoying!

  15. BlurrySandwich on April 18th, 2011 2:59 am

    at first i was like… that rattata has a really long arm.

    and then i was like… Yup that arm is deffiantely in the top percentile of arm length

  16. DM - Gentrollman on April 18th, 2011 3:08 am

    "What? No, I don't know why we're suddenly poorly drawn. Yes, I'll bring home a carton of milk. Yes mom, I'll talk to you later."

  17. exchangerates on April 18th, 2011 4:19 am

    The entry level for trainers at the gym I go to is about 59 bucks an hour but the gym can take up to 60%. still 25 bucks isn't bad. but the more certifications you have or a degree it can get up to 125 an hour with the gym taking maybe only half.

  18. NekoKnight on April 18th, 2011 4:28 am

    That Rattata is obviously a FEAR

    Bulbapedia mother fucker, do you speak it?

  19. Vlauer on April 18th, 2011 5:10 am

    It's obvious that Joey's Rattata can speak. Damn, that one time, when Joey's Rattata was blocking the way of Lance (inb4 "blabla Rattatas are small" ITS JOEY'S RATATA), so he got annoyed and sent Dragonite to blast the Rattata with a Hyper Beam. The problem is, that the beam ricocheted from Rattata's TOP FUCKING PERCENTAGE straight into Lance.

    You don't mess with Joey's Rattata, beyotch.

  20. Zyquux on April 18th, 2011 5:37 am

    Rattata's already in the TOP PERCENTILE; there's no need to evolve!

  21. nemb94 on April 18th, 2011 6:27 am
  22. Marzen on April 18th, 2011 6:35 am

    Since they're running out of ideas for the NEXT gen, how about in sixth Gen the Pokemon send out Humans to fight? I like this idea.

  23. tmotom on April 18th, 2011 6:52 am

    He's only one of the lowest ranked trainers because of all of the old Japanese men who no life the crap out of Pokemon. (not a troll, only a very true statement).

  24. C__F on April 18th, 2011 8:07 am

    "If examined through the use of a cheating device, Joey's Rattata really is in the top percent of Rattata, possessing an Adamant nature as well an IV spread of 30 31 29 31 26 30."

    --A GameFAQs forum

  25. Roto13 on April 18th, 2011 8:55 am

    This is by Kyattsuai, from his site Burn the Internet.

  26. MC Ninja on April 18th, 2011 9:00 am

    Joey: "My Rattata is in the top percentage of Rattata."

    Me: Okay, Joey, this is the fourth time I've battled you, and it has now clearly evolved into a Raticate. Geez, your eyesight is almost as bad as Professor Oak's, the man couldn't even tell if I was a boy or a girl.

    (Seriously, in the games, Joey still brags about his Rattata even though it has evolved.)

  27. Trainer_Black on April 18th, 2011 11:04 am

    Rattata's mom: "I know you've been saving up your money from all those human battles you've been losing, so I bought you something, sorry for using your money! I sent it to the pokemart."

    *Rattata goes to the pokemart*

    Delivery man: "Are you Joey's Rattata? This package is for you."

    *Rattata receives VOLCANO BAKEMEAT*

  28. RickO_ on April 18th, 2011 1:08 pm

    Bottom percentage? Nothing a good and hefty dose of drugs can cure.

    Effort Values,
    because you're worth it.

  29. Alpar on April 18th, 2011 3:17 pm

    Wait a minute…

    *semi accurate flashback to last Saturday when I met Shawn at ICon*

    "So if you check the Halolz should post this thread, there should be a picture of a Rattata calling other Pokemon with HIS phone, telling how Joey's the lowest percentage of all trainers."

    "Ahhh, *bit of loling here*, I'll be sure to look at that.."

    <img src=""&gt;

    Shawn… you listened to me.

    ….I think/hope.

  30. GaryMotherFuckingOak on April 18th, 2011 6:03 pm

    My entire team is in the top fucking percentile, because I'm Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak!!!

  31. Red on April 18th, 2011 6:30 pm

    <img src="; alt="">

    In Soviet Johto pokemon/ (Joey's) rattata trains you/Joey

  32. Rexxmech on April 18th, 2011 8:25 pm

    I knew that Rattata was in the top-percent of Rattata, Joey's just not a good trainer. That Rattata deserves better

  33. Nyoron on April 18th, 2011 10:16 pm

    That is an EXTREMELY long arm you got there..

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