In Valve’s fourth and final video for the soon to be released Portal 2, we discover that Chell is now A GODDAMN NINJA. Holy christ she has gotten good with that portal gun! I suppose all that testing was good for something at least!
Submitted by everyone!
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 12, 2011 · 6:05 PM
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135 Responses to “[VIDEO] Aperture Investment Opportunity #4: “Boots””
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Hmm... it's that time of year again. Yep that's right, con season! We're hitting the road to meet fans, hock funny t-shirts and give out high-fives!
Then after that it's straight off to Dallas, Texas for A-Kon!
Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it! (4.86 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.82 out of 5) (4.82 out of 5) (4.82 out of 5)(see more...)
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
I will give you my bank account, Aperture.
Who do I sign the check to?
Secondary Passive Ability: Ninja
Chell is a flipping ninja.
Halolz: Because Portal 2 is coming out soon and we want all of the Portal 2 related videos on our site ASAP.
*inb4 shutupandtakemymoney*
Sent in by everyone Shawn? How many emails were there? :3
I do think we need this image again
<img src="http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee105/thisisgettingstupid/imagesqtbnANd9GcRYCp7Gc-m6QMHQ2_Tpp.jpg" border="0" alt="Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension">
I want Portal 2 now…2 days ago xD
Make it out to Aperture Science, c/o Shawn Handyside…
Did he say "Gabe took care of it" when the corpse was being scraped into the floor incinerator of doom?
I'm glad they didn't give Chell the BOOT as the main character, any new test subject would have some big SHOES to fill. Although some people think she was sort of SHOEHORNED in to give gamers a familiar point of view within the aperture labs, I think shes a solid character, with her FEET planted firmly on the ground.
Did you know that Cave Johnson is voiced by J. K. Simmons?
"DAMMIT, PARKER, GET OUT THERE AND GET ME SOME PICTURES OF CHELL!"
No, I think he said "Cave took care of it."
Only thing Gabe needs to be taking care of is cheeseburgers and episode 3.
Ive created a monster 0.o
Wait "Submitted by everyone!" ?
then that means… something I submitted got posted on Halolz!
<img src="http://comedymeltdown.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/borat_great_success-450x337.jpg" alt="" width="450" height="337">
I kind of want to see that on a submission… perhaps I should make it!
is it possible to make my donation directly to the torture test subjects fund?
i dont want any getting earmarked of to one of those "bettering the future" devisions
i hope the next one will be about glados
I'd settle for pictures of cake.
Sorry they claim this is the last one…
Shutupandta…
aww.
Grammar Berserker beat you to this :P
Portolz?
Portalz?
Portlolz?
I'm most inclined to the first.
What a coincidence, me too!
He said Cash.
<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_liusbfh2V31qioh92o1_250.jpg" alt="" />
These boots were made for falling,
and that's just what they'll do,
one of these days these boots are gonna come down on top of you!
OH, AND…
Aperture's old bank:
<img src="http://images.wikia.com/familyguy/images/f/f3/Jim%27s_Bank.png" alt="" />
see, what sets them apart from other banks is that other banks are banks!!
Aperture Science Investment Opportunity #5:
Investment Opportunity Videos
I wasn't gonna get Portal 2 before, but I think I've changed my mind after seeing that…
I'd jump at the opportunity to own them!
Considering Aperture Science went from being a corporation to a proprietorship, I'd say that GLaDOS is the only one there to accept the money.
That'd be an infinite loop! Guess they don't teach computation logic on mountains.
I think the picture should be bigger, I like scrolling. I freakin' LOVE IT!
Poor poor Caroline.
Truly, a triumph! Huge success!
I take it this means Chell was a Thief in Portal 1. =D
ME TO!
LOL GO RED!
they do in valleys!
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction at this huge success!
At least Chell isn't an attention whore like that other ninja, Black Star. Now that would just be silly. *glares at GLaDOS*
*smacks nighten2_0*
we. do. NOT! use. that. word.
<img src="http://www.bergoiata.org/fe/Alaska3/Brooks%20Mountain%20Range,%20Alaska.jpg" alt="" />
here's something else you can scroll
and some more:
<img src="http://4a4b.wikispaces.com/file/view/TorahScroll.jpg/90559007/TorahScroll.jpg" alt="" />
Those are some kinky boots :)
I never submit anything… THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
*emerges from pokeball*
"Mountains, fuck yeah!"
lol, jk
Hey, I found a Tympole:
<img src="http://fc06.deviantart.com/fs7/i/2005/200/a/1/Zoidberg_ID_by_Futurama_Club.jpg" alt="">
I think it's shiny… or at least albino
Well, now just cheeseburgers, you ass!
GLaDOS?
<img src="http://www.marveldirectory.com/pictures/individuals/s_1d/superskrull.jpg"> What about him?
ShutuPANDtA:
<img src="http://th05.deviantart.net/fs47/300W/i/2009/199/e/8/Evil_Panda_by_punk_ette.jpg" alt="">
suddenly, not as cute sounding
*GLaD
*Me too
Your shame is great, don't let this happen again.
weellll if that little ARG hint isn't a red herring… perhaps you'll be getting it in 3 days?
(seeing as it is relevant)
<img src="http://cdn0.knowyourmeme.com/system/icons/5365/original/aww%20yeah.JPG?1300314474" alt="" />
DAMMIT PARKER, GET OUT THERE AND BUY ME PORTAL 2!!!
VERY NICE!!!
(hey wait, that would include me too!)
Those look suspiciously like the special artificial legs runners get. I think I get it….
1. Sucessful participant indulges in too much cake.
2. Loses feet to the 'betis.
3. Boots let them continue to test Apreture equipment.
4. ???
5. Triumph.
<img src="http://1d4chan.org/images/7/7d/Creed.gif">
perhaps…
<img src="http://www.jackbean.net/walrein-1-.jpg" alt="" />
Walrein Brimley brings you messages about Poke-beetus
Not out until 21st here, *sigh =(
Also…I read the achievements for Portal 2….I'm even more eager to play it now >.<
Yes, that is also him.
I was trying to imply that.
I guess I didn't do a good job
…I…submitted… a submission… highly relevant to … Shawn's… interests… my second post ever made….
<img src="http://emotibot.net/pix/1250.gif">
This… is too marvelous… and to think I share the same experience with those I love… come Halolzian brethren! We shall feast! I'll pay for the party van and beer!
How about Kratlolz? *trollface*
*Gets rushed by an angry mob*
IT WAS A JOKE, A JOOOOOOOKE.
ME THREE!
Me four?
Well at Aperature Science, we do what we must because we can.
That is not an average human. That is a goddamn ninja clone. We sell those too.
Rule 34'd
ME SIX!!!
GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!
GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!
GO!
C'mon, Halolz. No Boot to the Head Reference. I am disappoint.
That's one heck of a scroll… so almighty, I guess you could call it… a SUPER SCROLL.
<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_liusbfh2V31qioh92o1_500.jpg">
OH MY GOD!
A SHINY SHUT-UP PANDA!
I've got a Masterball with your name on it!
Sweet sexy submissions me six hundred and eight!
It took 400,000 Halolzians to submit this video, in 12 seconds.
I'll pay for the "entertainment"
(Entertainment being as many Companion Cubes as we need)
Indeed. They're between banks, right now.
I agree. This site should be renamed Portolz
MAKE IT HAPPEN!!
I see what you did there.
+1 for you, sir. (I'd +2 you to counteract the trollz, but the Man won't let me)
jill will come to portal only for those boots : D
More like cake, amirite?
(That's why it's a lie. He ate it all.)
Well, I was going to make a witty comment, however, I proceeded to notice a troll.
+1's for all.
Wait… why on Earth would Chell be anywhere near Aperture Science after the events of the first Portal game? She was nearly killed multiple times, and… well, we all know about the cake.
*Brawling Bouse throws Masterball, bounces off panda*
"Hey! Quit trying to take other people's pokemon!"
.
.
This one's mine!
Problem, Brawling Bouse?
<img src="http://news.timtechs.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/scrollphone.gif" alt="" />
(first image result for "super scroll")
IT'S A BOOK! IT'S A PAMPHLET! IT'S…
SUPER SCROLL!!!!!!!!!!
Done.
If you use Chrome of Firefox, put this bookmarklet in your bookmarks and use it on the main Halolz page.
Ed Greuberman, you fail to grasp Tae Kwon Leap.
We here at Aperture Science would like to demonstrate our hospitality by giving free trials of our equipment. All that is necessary would be that you, the customer, would have to arrive at our Cleveland location in order that the trial can be given in a safe, trustworthy environment. Aperture Science can then use your successful testing of our Aperture Science products to ensure that future generations of coughtesterscough customers can be generated.
Remember, at Aperture Science, We Care… (more than Black Mesa)
O_O …….. What IS this????
This is……… *wait for it*……. madness
Valve, in response to your current advertisement of Aperture Science, I present you with this.
<img src="http://www.lowbird.com/data/images/2011/01/bravo-bravo.gif" height="150" width="220">
<img src="http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/5764/applause.gif">
Shine on, you magnificent trailer-makers you.
I'm the only one here who only knows J.K. Simmons because of his role in "Thank You For Smoking." So…. alone…..
Applaud for me you crazy fools!
I AM APERTURE SCIENCE!
I SHALL ENSLAVE YOU ALL!!!
(This will make sense a week from now with the unveiling.)
Yes, we are taking cash.
Our previous bank was struck with a mild case of DeADlY NEurOToXIn
<img src="http://cdn1.knowyourmeme.com/system/icons/1987/original/fyeah.jpg?1269221733"> my first submission ever on Halolz!
So, do I get an achievement for being credited without actually submitting anything?
Portal week (which will eventually be longer than a week)
Do it now Shawn
But will it blend? (On a side note that should be somewhere in Marvel vs. Capcom 3… an alternate costume of sorts)
Those are some sexy boots.
These boots were made for stoppin' (me from splattering on the ground from high speeds)
no (I c wut I did thar)
You my friend are BEHIND! looky, this pretty much explains it.
Are you able to overstate your satisfaction?
Aww shit, I'm gon' get fuck'd up toNIGHT! :D
Sorry, but I didn't submit it…
I see what you referenced there.
Aperture Science: Making test subjects sexier with stasis pods and then turning them into ninjas with long fall boots since 1953.
We call them "depressing non-mountain spaces" right?
* Le Airlift*
*panda falls apart on minute strain*
oshit…
Mentally challenegd mountains who went the wrong way?
Eh… better than Northen Rock
ololoololoolllucwateyedidthar?
MY MIND *BWOOF*
Damn, beat me to it. +1
I'll take 20!!!
…what?!? A guy can get lonely once in a while…
rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow">…
'betis.
Obligatory: rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow">…
No. You submitted it.
You submitted it and you LIKED it.
I was ACTUALLY expecting the stick figure's legs to snap at the heels after the fall…LMAO
For the good of all except for the one who are dead.
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
And it sure was tasty!
For the good of all of us here at Halolz.
Then allow me. *+1*
They've been around since the '50s?
If mountains are heaven then "landscape-features-that-must-not-be-named" are hell.
no thanks, I'll smash other peoples pots and get my own
I'm not going to buy this!!! The last investment I made turned my son into swiss cheese!!!!! Red, goopy swiss cheese…
Damn Black Mesa… Always bein' all… not caring… dammit…
Have I died and gone to heaven? 50 + 20 virgins = 70!!! YAY!!! Wait…
rel="nofollow">
Where are the other 2…
Madness? No.
THIS! IS!!! HALOLZ!!!!!!
*kicks Rocker23 into a pit*
"Worth the weight.", indeed!
useful and sexy. I'ma likin those boots!
hmm, Chell is ow a sexy cyber-ninja. like, Laura Croft sexy. i like.
*edit* i REALLY like. as in, no way in hell am i not buying this.
what organization run by a semi-psychotic, sarcastic, lovable, artificial intelligence HASNT been around since the 50's?
*slow-mo fall*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*silence, followed by a loud echoing, thud……..*
*echoes*
Damn, these boots really DO work…….Now how the hell am I gonna get out of here????
Thank god I'm not dead! @_@
Totallyworthit.png
Well there's…
.
..
…
Good point.
good lord.
she got the cake…