In Valve’s fourth and final video for the soon to be released Portal 2, we discover that Chell is now A GODDAMN NINJA. Holy christ she has gotten good with that portal gun! I suppose all that testing was good for something at least!
Submitted by everyone!

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 12, 2011 · 6:05 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (176 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5)
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Categories:
Aerial Maneuvers, PC, Playstation, Portal, Science/Math, Secret Items, Serious Business, Things Are Heating Up, Valve Software, Video Clips, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (135 Comments)





 

135 Responses to “[VIDEO] Aperture Investment Opportunity #4: “Boots””

  1. C__F on April 12th, 2011 6:11 pm

    I will give you my bank account, Aperture.
    Who do I sign the check to?

  2. Vatonnage on April 12th, 2011 6:14 pm

    Secondary Passive Ability: Ninja
    Chell is a flipping ninja.

  3. Alpar on April 12th, 2011 6:15 pm

    Halolz: Because Portal 2 is coming out soon and we want all of the Portal 2 related videos on our site ASAP.

  4. Grammar Berzerker on April 12th, 2011 6:22 pm

    *inb4 shutupandtakemymoney*

  5. therandombear on April 12th, 2011 6:26 pm

    Sent in by everyone Shawn? How many emails were there? :3

    I do think we need this image again
    <img src="http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee105/thisisgettingstupid/imagesqtbnANd9GcRYCp7Gc-m6QMHQ2_Tpp.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension">

    I want Portal 2 now…2 days ago xD

  6. Jones-250 on April 12th, 2011 6:27 pm

    Did he say "Gabe took care of it" when the corpse was being scraped into the floor incinerator of doom?

  7. Irish_Anphibian on April 12th, 2011 6:27 pm

    I'm glad they didn't give Chell the BOOT as the main character, any new test subject would have some big SHOES to fill. Although some people think she was sort of SHOEHORNED in to give gamers a familiar point of view within the aperture labs, I think shes a solid character, with her FEET planted firmly on the ground.

  8. Leo E. on April 12th, 2011 6:28 pm

    Did you know that Cave Johnson is voiced by J. K. Simmons?

    "DAMMIT, PARKER, GET OUT THERE AND GET ME SOME PICTURES OF CHELL!"

  9. spplmj on April 12th, 2011 6:43 pm

    Wait "Submitted by everyone!" ?
    then that means… something I submitted got posted on Halolz!

    <img src="http://comedymeltdown.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/borat_great_success-450x337.jpg&quot; alt="" width="450" height="337">

  10. dekuskrub1 on April 12th, 2011 7:00 pm

    is it possible to make my donation directly to the torture test subjects fund?
    i dont want any getting earmarked of to one of those "bettering the future" devisions

  11. greenxboy on April 12th, 2011 7:01 pm

    i hope the next one will be about glados

  12. Red on April 12th, 2011 7:27 pm

    These boots were made for falling,
    and that's just what they'll do,
    one of these days these boots are gonna come down on top of you!

    OH, AND…

    Aperture's old bank:
    <img src="http://images.wikia.com/familyguy/images/f/f3/Jim%27s_Bank.png&quot; alt="" />
    see, what sets them apart from other banks is that other banks are banks!!

  13. Roflcopter419 on April 12th, 2011 7:31 pm

    I wasn't gonna get Portal 2 before, but I think I've changed my mind after seeing that…

  14. Zabrio on April 12th, 2011 7:31 pm

    I'd jump at the opportunity to own them!

  15. EphEphEcksIII on April 12th, 2011 7:51 pm

    Poor poor Caroline.

  16. spaghettiweegee on April 12th, 2011 8:06 pm

    I take it this means Chell was a Thief in Portal 1. =D

  17. Uzumakiclan43 on April 12th, 2011 8:17 pm

    At least Chell isn't an attention whore like that other ninja, Black Star. Now that would just be silly. *glares at GLaDOS*

  18. Strykerblade on April 12th, 2011 8:25 pm

    Those are some kinky boots :)

  19. Tartaurus on April 12th, 2011 8:35 pm

    Those look suspiciously like the special artificial legs runners get. I think I get it….

    1. Sucessful participant indulges in too much cake.
    2. Loses feet to the 'betis.
    3. Boots let them continue to test Apreture equipment.
    4. ???
    5. Triumph.

  20. oreopizza47 on April 12th, 2011 9:45 pm

    That is not an average human. That is a goddamn ninja clone. We sell those too.

  21. Captain Rehab on April 12th, 2011 9:59 pm

    GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!
    GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!
    GO!

  22. invadingduck on April 12th, 2011 10:14 pm

    C'mon, Halolz. No Boot to the Head Reference. I am disappoint.

  23. fmarulz on April 12th, 2011 11:39 pm

    jill will come to portal only for those boots : D

  24. PrototypeHero on April 12th, 2011 11:50 pm

    Well, I was going to make a witty comment, however, I proceeded to notice a troll.

    +1's for all.

  25. VigilanteSpider on April 13th, 2011 12:06 am

    Wait… why on Earth would Chell be anywhere near Aperture Science after the events of the first Portal game? She was nearly killed multiple times, and… well, we all know about the cake.

  26. Deep Thought on April 13th, 2011 1:01 am

    We here at Aperture Science would like to demonstrate our hospitality by giving free trials of our equipment. All that is necessary would be that you, the customer, would have to arrive at our Cleveland location in order that the trial can be given in a safe, trustworthy environment. Aperture Science can then use your successful testing of our Aperture Science products to ensure that future generations of coughtesterscough customers can be generated.

    Remember, at Aperture Science, We Care… (more than Black Mesa)

  27. DM - Gentrollman on April 13th, 2011 1:21 am

    Valve, in response to your current advertisement of Aperture Science, I present you with this.

    <img src="http://www.lowbird.com/data/images/2011/01/bravo-bravo.gif&quot; height="150" width="220">
    <img src="http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/5764/applause.gif"&gt;

    Shine on, you magnificent trailer-makers you.

  28. AuraMaster on April 13th, 2011 2:40 am

    Those are some sexy boots.

    These boots were made for stoppin' (me from splattering on the ground from high speeds)

  29. tstriker1 on April 13th, 2011 4:12 am

    Aperture Science: Making test subjects sexier with stasis pods and then turning them into ninjas with long fall boots since 1953.

  30. C__F on April 13th, 2011 12:07 pm

    For the good of all of us here at Halolz.

  31. tmotom on April 13th, 2011 4:40 pm

    I'm not going to buy this!!! The last investment I made turned my son into swiss cheese!!!!! Red, goopy swiss cheese…

  32. Jimmy on April 13th, 2011 4:55 pm

    Have I died and gone to heaven? 50 + 20 virgins = 70!!! YAY!!! Wait…
    rel="nofollow">

    Where are the other 2…

  33. Xenon_ktor on April 13th, 2011 9:30 pm

    useful and sexy. I'ma likin those boots!

  34. Xenrek on April 13th, 2011 9:43 pm

    hmm, Chell is ow a sexy cyber-ninja. like, Laura Croft sexy. i like.

    *edit* i REALLY like. as in, no way in hell am i not buying this.

  35. dope92 on April 14th, 2011 10:32 pm

    good lord.

    she got the cake…

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