No one ever said these TF2 updates would be fairly balanced!
By booker, submitted by Joaquin B.
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on March 14, 2011 · 11:02 PM
  (203 votes, average: 4.61 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Artistic, Fashion Faux Pas, Foreign Object, Heavy Weapons, Rage Enducing, Secret Items, Sequential Art, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software · Leave a comment (90 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
Well, we all know what happens next.
The doctor makes the heavy a sandwich.
Actually, those wigs were originally used by male actors.
it's funny because the medic is a nurse now
Disguised as women.
…
…
SPY!
Heavy: Doktor, ven vill you see dat it was I who slipped you dat vig…now get in da kitchen and make Heavy a SANDVICH!
Looks like the doctor finally had his…
*Straps on medical mask, lifts scalpel*
…Big operation.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
The secret ingredient is scrap metal.
An acupuncture-themed needlegun? Geishagain.
Mmph hudda hudda! (Spy check!)
*uses flamethrower*
The following is obligatory:
Medic: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
0.e;
I'm quite scared right now.
No. It was a simple regurgitation of an overused and unimaginative Internet macro. It has no place in actual comedy. The point someone else took away from you (as I do not, contrary to popular belief, take away points. I only add them if I find a commentary worthy of it) is perfectly legitimate.
That being said, U mad?
In honor of the shogun update, I give a Haiku.
Medic sadly knows
Valve gives him a woman's wig
For Fanfiction ships
Heavy knows who wears the pants in the relationship.
Don't worry, I practice medicine.
Because I still can't seem get it quite right.
No; me now sad.From: notifications@intensedebatemail.comTo: yoshilover_06@hotmail.comSubject: Vabolo replied to your comment on The Shogun Update
I am super-excited about half of this update and very unimpressed by the other half.
Awesomeness;
Demo/Soldier samurai duels
Awesome spy mask (and possibly knife, haven't gotten a chance to try it.)
Lameness;
scout fan (-90% damage for mini-crits?)
The hair
And, to a lesser extent, the concheror (could be cool, I guess.)
You don't deserve -65p ._.
"yoshi lover".
That sounds…deeply disturbing.
Meanwhile Scout and Soldier are crying at the base because they only got weapons and no hat.
HA HA HA HA HA HA *Snaps glove* prepare for your prostate exam.
All I can tell you about this procedure is that it will be, EXCRUCIATING!
Ubersaw is good.
Crossbow is worse than needles.
Fuck my new hat Gabe.
Press your taunt key to seppuku with your ubersaw.
They should call you whiners Dr. いいえ!!!!!
While Spy and Demoman trolled them, respectively.
Spy trolled everyone though, since he got items ONLY for him.
Sandvich?
Now when am I supposed to get funny hats for my armies in Shogun 2?
New law of nature: Whenever Valve releases an item pack based on a nation's culture, that nation experiences a catastrophic disaster.
So, Valve… how about a North Korea pack? Pretty please?
私は、あなたが何を見た
I see what you did there…
COUNTER HAIKU!
okay but for real
something is wrong with this shit
the medic's not gay
Maybe he does, it does take some time to earn it.
That medic is a spy!
While Engineer sits in his room playing with his measly 5 weapons and 8 hats while looking longingly at Demoman and Heavy chatting about how much great stuff they have.
Cause I'm a Yoshilover
You're a Yoshilover
We should… Okay, actually, let's not do that ._.
oi nah actually he's only got one neg'd comment!! but it's a "lol new pokemon" joke which probably means a bunch of people overreacted e__e
I think I'm gonna go on every IP I can access and upvote it until he's back to something more reasonable.
[ edit: SUCCESS, FELLOW HALOLZERS <3 ]
You must practice more!
(S)he needs to perform hara kiri now.
Oh god, I just realized how assholish that sounds.
Do i smell soiled sumo diaper?
I guess this is the closest things we'll get to a TF2 female now with this update.
Pyro: FINALLY.
It took me less than a day to earn negative eighty.
New trolling record?
Yaaay more negative ones!
FINALLY someone agrees.
Press your taunt key to make a Yaranaika face.
That is one sexy medic, I'd bonk that any day o' the week.
Oh, I'll just look for some other doctor to defuse this atom bomb and cure zombie cancer then…
It could be just platonic love for overly happy dinosaurs that can devour anything and use unborn children as thrown weaponry?
No, I've seen someone get -100 in one day, from half the number of posts.
Now, didn't we suggest you leave?
Real subtle Valve.
Reaaaaaaaaaal subtle.
And what about the Engie? He got nothing :(
GET BACK TO THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A RICEBALL
Medic says:
Ja, I'm nicht gay…
just a zadist.
I guess I wasn't trying hard enough then.
Just because you suggested something doesn't mean I should listen.
What if you suggested I jump off a cliff? Or die? Oh wait one of you did that. Oh well, I still didn't/won't listen.
I've been using this e-mail address for years…From: notifications@intensedebatemail.comTo: yoshilover_06@hotmail.comSubject: Mentlegen replied to your comment on The Shogun Update
rel="nofollow">Beats the Soldier's reaction
Would that make them secret asians?
Hats.
Every time I hear about TF2, I hear about those goddamn hats. Every time play TF2, people are talking about hats. Every time Valve updates TF2, they add new hats. Every time a watch a TF2 video, someone's wearing a hat. EVERY TIME HALOLZ HAS A TF2 SUBMISSION, IT'S ABOUT BLOODY HATS!
HATS, HATS EVERYWHERE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF IT! I'M GOING TO DESTROY EVERY SINGLE HAT IN EXISTENCE IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Experimenting is important in relationships, Y'know?
Geisha wig + Blighted Beak = Nightmare fuel. I can't wait.
Who the hell are you and why have you stolen my name?
There wasn't a Haitian, Chilean, or Australian item pack, so that may need some work.
Wait, I'm forgetting the Australian Christmas pack…
Your wearing a helmet, which is a type of headgear, ergo a hat.
You know what you must now do.
Wait, you're getting +1s?
Oh, I see. We're trolling you and Wolfing (yes, I just turned Wolf's ability to not let you do that into a single verb) your attempts at trolling. Well played, Halolzers, well played.
Und ich sehe, was Sie taten es
And I see you did there.
(Hooray for Google Translate!)
I like the crossbow!
It can heal Sticky Jumpers!
I am credit to team.
Actually it was New Zealand, so it still doesn't work.
With the Bonesaw's or Amputator's Taunt, it's a harpy!
Silly silly gaben…
It's OK. You can just upgrade it when you level up.
…you didn't just fail for liking the crossbow, you failed your haiku.
I like the cross-bow (5)
It can heal sti-cky Jum-pers (7)
I am cred-it to team. (6!!!)
Zyquux…
<img src="http://operatorchan.org/k/src/k269329_son-i-am-disappoint.gif" height="200" width="150">
Stick to them troper dealies you use. I ain't got the guts to shoot you down a minus one though, not against me own kind.
Demopans everywhere,
It pains me to hear the sound:
Does anyone want to trade?
Press your taunt key to turn into loli medic…
Wrong japanese update?
….Zyquux you get a point because he just did a six-seven-seven haiku. thats 200% more failure right there.
You're welcome, bud
*Takes off helmet, revealing a horribly mutated bald face with thorough bionics*
Those bionics are a misc item, which should generate the same amount of rage as hats as they are equally as begged for.
CURSES! I'll retry
And try to save my haiku
I cannot screw up:
"I like the crossbow!
It can heal Sticky Jumpers!
I'm healing my team."
ALTERNATE COMMENT:
My haiku skills suck.
I try using proper form,
But I always put too many syllables in the last line.
zyzuux, i know what your thinking. don't link us to the tv tropes page on nightmare fuel.
It actually didn't occur to me, but that'd be too easy anyway.
No, you have to be more creative than that.
Oh, and it's Zyquux, not zyzuux.
Nope. They're wargear.
Model pieces =/= Wargear
Except for the fact that I am no longer trolling.
So you guys are really just trying to troll me by negativing all my other posts now. That and some people have no concept of sarcasm.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I do believe i've been using this name ever since i first played runescape my good man.
And that was ages ago…..
Forgetting the huge Queenland floods and one of the world's most powerful cyclones already?
O_O I didn't hear about that….
SELF, I AM DISAPPOINT.
Reading Heavy's comment in Heavy's voice makes this funnier xD
Medic is the most unappreciated class. He's like the Luigi of TF2.
Except the enemy team pays a little too much attention to him.
Du bist gut!
Aber ich bin besser!
Let's totally pretend that was the disaster I meant.
It's natural human cause. I mean after what you just did, you can't possibly expect all of us to grow an affinity for you out of nowhere.
Also, sarcasm is the most difficult kind of implication to read over internet text.