Oh, did you not get enough Portal 2 Valentine’s Day this morning? Here have a little more!
Love, smashpro1 (and also Valve)
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on February 14, 2011 · 8:18 AM
  (206 votes, average: 4.72 out of 5) Loading ... |
53 Responses to “[VIDEO] APERTURE LABORATORIES – ROMANCE SAFETY COMPLIANCE GUIDE”
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Hmm... it's that time of year again. Yep that's right, con season! We're hitting the road to meet fans, hock funny t-shirts and give out high-fives!
Then after that it's straight off to Dallas, Texas for A-Kon!
Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it! (4.85 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.82 out of 5) (4.82 out of 5) (4.82 out of 5)(see more...)
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
The Aperture Science Enrichment Center would like to remind you that, while emotional contact with the female of the human species can be emotionally and physically rewarding, it is also very likely to be financially a black hole.
We encourage affection to the Weighted Companion Cube over the Human Female as it offers the same level of emotional gratification, but will never ask for your wallet in return.
I lost my girlfriend to Diamonds. I only give video games as gifts now.
I'm pretty sure I'd still be in love if she let me co-operatively test her portal once in a while.
Now you're gifting with portals
The video is now diamonds!
But can it make me a
cakesandwich?Anything happens when you work for Aperture Science!
I'm in a test chamber.
One portal is orange.
The other is blue.
There are turrets nearby,
And they can see you.
I think I may be one tiny step closer to discovering the point of Valentine's day
Totally unrelated, -1 me, If you like, but I think Valentines Day is just pure bullshit. If you're in a happy relationship, every day is like a festival, am I right?
(For the related part, I still think, that Companion Cube would make for an even better gift)
"54% of women are allergic to chocolate"
Which is why men should be able to eat it all… for.. um.. the greater good of all humanity?
Poor stick woman was stuck in a dilemma – smashed by a diamond she could have needed to craft her own ALOHA* to protect her from falling diamonds.
*) Aperture Laboratories Office Hazard Armor
This video is HIGHLY inaccurate.
Everyone knows that once she finally got that diamond, a Creeper should've popped out of nowhere and exploded, causing her to drop all her precious diamond into lava!
*wondering if Shawn ever got that Valentine's day submission he told me to make 5+ months ago*
It kinda is. It's another one of those "holidays" that aren't actually holidays (while looking for a card, I stumbled across other "holidays" like "Minister Appreciation Day"). Some people say it was invented solely to sell greeting cards and promote consumerism, and while that probably wasn't true when it was created, it's the only reason it's still around.
So I deal with it. It's clearly not going anywhere, and she wanted to do something today anyway (works out well for me, I had nothing to do today in the first place).
In the event of an anomalous response, the Weighted Companion Cube will be made available as treatment for your emotional fragility. Aperture Science would like to remind you that the Thermal Discouragement Beam is not a suggested response gift to rejection, but would enjoy recording the result if chosen as a course of action. For science.
I guess i have to agree with you.
After all YOU are the stick man.
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that if you vote this less than 5 you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
You monster.
So, basically:
Portal 2 = Love
<3
Portal 2 is now available for preorder?!
*Goes to steam page to preorder*
*Realizes it still isn't able to be purchased*
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Since she checks Halolz every now and then, I'll use my comment to tell my special one this:
I love you, weighted companion cube. <3
I will look!
The Enrichment Center would like to remind you that "Bring Your Significant Other To Work Day" also coincides with Valentines Day and is an excellent time to have them apply for a position in our Testing Department!
Even though your broke my heart and delayed her.
And tore dreams to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
Can't argue with those facts…
I agree, it's bullshit. So I go around with a needle and lighter (for balloons and stuffed animals, respectively.) all day.
I can put it up on Photobucket and send it to you in a Twitter PM, if need be.
I choose to only recognize today as another Monday, but if you want to know the real reason we celebrate, it's sorta celebrating the secret marriages that St. Valentine did. The king of the place St.Valentine was in didn't want soldiers getting detracted by a wife or something like that, thus the secret marriages… I'm paraphrasing, and it's supposed to sound much more romantic (thus the romantic themes of valentines day) but I kinda don't care that much. :I
…giggity?
Valentine's Day was introduced to Sweden in 1968(or -58) by a retail business, inspired by american culture, for commercial reasons. However, the holiday first made its way into the swedish calendar in the 1990's. In Sweden Valentine's Day is called "Alla hjärtans dag" which means (if translated directly to english) "Every hearts' day".
Happy Every Hearts' Day everyone!
It's all about the gifts you choose!
When you play aperture party cruise!
Too bad the cake is a lie..
….wait what?
Where do you think all the money you were going to spend on your girlfriend is going?
Must…resist urge… to make more Old Spice jokes…
But there's no bees in flowers in Minecraft…
Okay… looks like someone doesn't appreciate the more commercialized reasons for Valentine's day. Time to be logical and-
*Looks at TCC's comment*
Oh well this saves me trouble of tl;dr walling.
You forgot he was also found out and executed for his "crimes".
Ooh, oh, wait! Wait! I bet I can imitate the face of at least 90% of people here right now!
Ready?
<img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VSrnkiWaqSQ/TMdBQsCZScI/AAAAAAAAAZI/r7M0LAXkxW0/s1600/forever+alone+face.png">
….Yeah we all kinda suck at this, don't we…
Get back to working on Episode 3 Gabe…
old spice is so powerful it can lie about cake
but then it too boring so he create another cake
DOUBLE CAKE POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!
Well, for all the severely desperate people on Valentines Day, the portal gun does allow for some… unorthodox applications of your time… and body…
but their no point crying over every delay
you just keep on waiting utill you ran out of cake
You can now :D
Already pre-ordered >:D
Aperture Science…We do what we must because-WE'VE BEEN FANTISIZING ABOUT YOU AT NIGHT!
Who says the needle and lighter can't be used on the other thing?
It's lying power is as powerful as me!
Yeah it is.
Who said that?
Was that my Companion Cube?
No, it was my-
Moooooooooooooorality core.
Thanks :D
I think that would be more of a pie actually…
And we get to celebrate the day that he was killed with chocolate and cards and gifts. I'm sure he'd feel great about that.
On a side note; I think it was partially because they did not want catholics to be married and raise children to be catholics as opposed to the soldier thing. They probably couldn't care less about the emotional state of their soldiers; and if anything it probably would have given them a better reason to stay alive and fight better.
In conclusion ZF concurs completely with Vlauer.
Just as long, the cube won't stab you,
Everyone will love you!
Problem, Alpar?
oh man, preorders are up? gonna get 2 copies off of steam for me and the nurse
Nope. Got Portal 1 for free today.
umad?
Consider it like a test day where your relationship skills are evaluated. I wish I could give my teacher a rose so she would pass me on my midterm. Pride? What I need is an A right now.