There’s a reason they gave the guy so many extra lives… the odds were always stacked against him!
By TheBourgyman, submitted by Masterluigi452
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on February 11, 2011 · 2:12 PM
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154 Responses to “CAUSE OF DEATH”
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Hmm... it's that time of year again. Yep that's right, con season! We're hitting the road to meet fans, hock funny t-shirts and give out high-fives!
Then after that it's straight off to Dallas, Texas for A-Kon!
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Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
Question: should I make a "princess is in another castle" joke, or skip it and go straight for the GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK?
What about death cause by giant fire spiting turtle.
Sorry but your advice is in another castle. Oops did I steal your joke? XP
Suddenly, Ode to the Minions lost all of its meaning. I want to kill those asshole minions one by one damnit!!!!
Don't forget graffiti, living fireballs, missiles, getting shot, spiked enemies, magic, stampeded, pies, springs and many many other horrible deaths.
Aww, poor Bullet Bill feels left out…
Lost Death: Shot
"Resetting or Power Off The Console" -- can also kill him, and plus, there is no mole coming up at you and nagging..
"Every man dies-Not every man really lives"-William Ross Wallace
"Cause of Death: Barrel Roll"
Well, he clearly didn't press Z or R twice.
[GEDDIT?]
where are the CSI yyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh comments?!
this is a post about a character dieing, it totally fits here so.. where are they?! wtf?!
Another cause of death: time paradox
Like this:
Past: Baby Mario fell in lava
Present: Mario turns into a skeleton and dies
Honestly, I'd prefer any of those deaths to the black hole one. It's never happened to me before, but I'm pretty sure that having all of your molecules torn apart and stretched out during spaghettification is slightly painful.
Looks like he couldn't…
*puts on sunglasses*
get a 1up.
Immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwefulllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Fawful didn't let him do that.
……..wait
I'm sorry but your CSI comments are in another castle.
Now compare the amount of times Mario dies to the amount of deaths for Bowser in an average Mario game
WHO REALLY IS THE WINNER HERE
…
::polite applause::
All that, and he never gets some.
It must suck to be a Nintendo protagonist.
Actually, falling into a blackhole wouldn't be painful at all. It's impossible to feel your atoms slowly being peeled off, especially when the signals from your nerves can't reach your brain.
So in reality it'd be the least painful. It'd just last the longest due to the time dilation.
Bowser never seems to have any 1-up mushrooms, though…
<img src="http://palmgoon.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/the_more_you_know2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket">
He should've used the boots to get through.
No typo intended.
You figured after dying so many times, some of the attention would go to that green guy.
44 ways to die, SUCK IT GTA
Bullied to death?? He needs to call Kids Help Phone.
When you fall down a bottomless pit, you die of starvation.
What about getting hit by the shell you just kicked on its rebound?
They forgot being Falcon Punched!
Incidentally, my actual home (not lab, nor "vacation" one) has all these as traps (although the time out and pushed out of stage ones are a bit more… well the have much more spectacular results).
I normally deactivate them when I invite friends over.
Ha, you know, that's funny, because when you invited me over, THEY WERE ALL ON.
Hrm, I find two problems with this!
One! That shell picture is not accurate, for Mario has a cape! He would just become smaller!
Second! You do not die in Mario Kart, you just get stunned, or pulled back up by a Laiku!
Otherwise, very impressive.
Sorry, but your princess is with GARY MOTHERF***ING OAK.
HA! Stole both of the jokes!
That probably falls under "Burning".
At this point, do we really need to point out the key word was "friends"?
Hello, I have read your comment, and, while it is perfectly normal to wonder where the CSI Miami Jokes, I have found an inaccurate spelling in the word "dieing" for it is spelt "dying".
With my regards,
Your friendly neighborhood spell checker.
Man, I am seriously reconsidering my plumbing career path now…
And Torpedo Ted.
Tipping Forties would like to speak with you.
Yeah, but Yoshi gets dropped down a lot of bottomless pits himself.
Why? Link has plenty of Heart Containers; he won't be dying anytime soon.
and knowing is half the battle
No we don't. "We" also don't need to point out that a certain french game developer has announced that a certain series will be getting a sequel soon, whereas a Japanese company has given no word on what will happen to their series (though they are thinking of rebooting it, perhaps without a certain megacorporation), but "we" enjoy doing so anyways.
Score time.
Ace: 98
King: 99
I think that is still falls under "Shell".
link?
…
::sarcastic applause::
Alternatively, you could be sly and say that your QUEEN is with a young trainer named after a tree, or that your Gary is in another mother (although you need for the conversation to lead towards Oak first for the second one)
what about blunt force trauma by hammer bros.?
It's only awsome to be a Microsoft protagonist
And Banzai Bill
Sorry, but that would fall under falling into lava, since future Mario would not exist if he fell into lava as a Baby… Unless it was Partners in Time, but then it'd be the present that all of that would happen in, and you can't really die if you don't exist.
Also, I think we forgot to add a handful of things from Smash Bros.
DO A BARREL ROLL
yes sir!
*blows up*
Anyone else notice that Weegee was the one that got eaten by the fish?
Wait, you're aweful? Awesomely Awful?
And Buzzy Beetle,
Chain Chomp,
Monty Mole,
and many other Alliterative Atrocities.
…Who's Weegee?
What's the other half?
All the time.
Unless you're talking about when I leave them on with friends coming over, for which I have a variety of answers.
-When I'm under quota of backstabbing someone close to me
-When they turn out to be the hero or are working with them
-When they just got the raise/promotion/funding I was after
-When they have displeased me/failed me for the last time
-When I forget to turn them off
-When I'm too lazy to turn them off
-When they are coming over to fulfill their backstab quota
-When I'm testing their supersoldier abilities
-When I'm bored
I don't know, in each of the thousand endings of Fire Emblem we get to see the protagonists nailing almost all the other characters
………of the opposite sex you sick fuck!
Who?
Missing from brawl:
Hit by falcon punch,
trying to stare at samus' ass,
slipping on diddy's banana peel with a bomb behind you,
inhaled by kirby,
trying to peel off meta knight's mask,
and many more
Pfft, you have Master Chief, We have Captain Falcon. Your claim is invalid.
Senseless violence.
This makes me cry at all of the times ive died in mario…sniff…*goes to corner and crys*
Blown away and spaced out… also the side effects of eating any mushroom that you find lying in a mystery box. So remember kids, don't eat strange food from random yellow boxes that are floating in the air!
"Uhhh…I don't think those were logs…" -Hamm
You have failed me…FOR THE LAST TIME!
Relevant.
What? Wherewhenwhyhow?
No one listens to Peppy, though!
Especially Roy. He can have 5 different wives or something like that!
They really need to include this on "1,000 Ways to Die" on SpikeTV. Mario would fit in quite nicely!
What about being Falcon Punched?!? (or for that matter, anything SSB-related)
getting hammered?
That would be the case, but…
<img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HWvjBXgCF-c/SwR3mdE8h1I/AAAAAAAADnA/Hi4656R-l1E/s1600/toad1.jpg" alt="" />
I'm sorry princess, but your Gary Motherfucking Oak is in another castle!
Something meaningful, IN HALOLZ?
It's more likely than you think
Never gets some… cake?
He's got 99 problems, but…a normal goomba isn't one. Go figure.
(PS WHERE IS THE FIRE WHEEL TOO)
It's a tough life being a plumber.
Well lets see if Sonic can rival this.
Drowned (With lovely drowning music for it)
Killed by Spikes
Killed by Spikes on a robot
Coconut thrown by robot monkey
The robot monkey itself
A crazy ladybug or warthog robot runs into him
Shot down by killer wasp
Giant wrecking ball to the face
Gravity reversals (Both to Sonic and a giant metal ball)
Falling down a bottomless pit
Unable to swim out of a bottomless sea
Falling into space
MASTER EMERALD HYPER BEAAAAM
Grabbed by normal Robotnik grabber
Crushed by giant Robotnik claw
Drill up the ass
Running into a spiked log
Cut in half by metal sonic…twice…
Tails stealing the ring you needed before being hit by laser
Electrocution by final boss
TIME OVAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
FOREST FIRE
Whirlpool
Apocalypse due to flames of disaster
Hyper Metal Sonic
GET RED SPHERE
Gambling Addiction Time Over
Gambling Addiction Robotnik Kill
THOSE F*CKING DRUMS
Poisonous water
Oil field
Lava
Freezing to death
Being shot out of a cannon
Crushing Blocks
Crushing Ice
That spiked thing that just floats slowly toward you…That somehow always kills you
SPIKES—oh wait they're fake…on a robot…OH CRAP FIREBALL
Falling Debris
Ice Spikes
Falling into the atmosphere
Flame Snot (I really don't know why Robotnik designed this.)
LAZORS
Well what do you know. HE DOES!
Sir, I would like to award you the medal for "Best Link Ever Posted".
GRAMMAR HAMMER!
*dying
thank you i love that quot from V For Vendetta
But Kirby seems pretty well-fed.
I wouldn't bet on it…
<img src="http://www.geekologie.com/2009/10/09/gPE89.gif">
Oddly enough, that's the same question Shawn poses himself before simply posting another TF2 submission.
But the Master Cheif has those regenerating energy shields, and lots of cool guns gadgets and tanks. Those things beat anything
Isn't the less or the same amount as Mario?
And Cracked.com
Stunt Double
I already brought that up 2 hrs ago
Guile's too busy breaking parked cars for no apparent reason.
Kenny would be proud.
Do you really die from falling in a bottomless pit?
Because you won't reach the bottom.
wolf: … I CAN'T LET ANY ONE DO THAT MASQUENOMERCY me: ok get out of my house NOW! ****ing furry.
yes it dose…
whos Kenny?
wolf: even though thats a good idea… I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT! … Instead I will go my self! me: thank god hes gone… ugh why do I have a bad feeling about this… HEY MY SNAPPLE! '>_> let me guess…
-.-'
"Do you whant to get hammered?"-Okami
… but a princess ain't one.
Damn… he beat me to the punch.
As punishment, suck on this: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/my-little-pony-frie…
You'll never see your masculinity again!
MUAHAHAHA!!!
Do my eye deceive me, A non-Pokemon related submission topping "Scyther can not learn FLY!".
Must have one hell of a life insurance plan
Well, you've saved Mudkip the work… so I'll have to pay you.
How do you feel about ugly sweaters…
Deep Thought, I'm not this powerful of a Troll without reason. *Snaps fingers*
<img src="http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs49/f/2009/192/9/b/My_Little_Pwny_by_ChemicalAlia.jpg" alt="Pwnage Pwny" width="450" height="300">
It looks like you've just got pwned.
*Does Dr. Wily submission pose*
I'm sorry I ever doubted…
Shit's like crack though, I can't look away.
Ah the Edigdius Bordeium, or, in layman's terms, The Corner.
very rare in nature, usually found in the border of it's habitat, it is a silent killer.
lol, KENNY! YOU KNOW! THAT KID WHO DIES ALL THE TIME!
http://cdn.venturebeat.com/wp-content/uploads/200…
HIM!
G. I. JOOOOOOOEEEEE!!!
KILL THEM ALL
-with science!!
Lots of spaghettification!
Where's "First Goomba from World 1-1"?
Not anymore!
Also: GRAMMAR HAMMER!
eyes deceive me?*
A princess is a cause of death if STDs are involved.
What, no one saw Toy Story 3?
"But I'm clean—BOWSER!!!!!!!"
1+ for correction
For 25 years of princess saving, Mario sure did earn a lot of bruises from here and there!
Super Mario Bros. forever!
*gag*
damn rule 34… even attacking me while I'm home on break.
Hrm, when you said sequels, all I could think of is half life 2: episode 3.
Can't let you make that, Valve.
Look at the bright side, at least it wasn't a merciless, violent hammer.
Being too fast in Brawl is a good one too.
This is a rare specimen! A Halolz Rookie with just 4p making an amazing reference!
ALL YOUR +1'S ARE BELONG TO HIM.
They're both in brawl, so it balances out.
Anyone else notice that Luigi is the one being eaten?
Who?
You missed suicide due to poor 3D games
Why not "assisted suicide?"
Anyone noticed it's Luigi being eaten by the fish?
nope just regular aweful.
yeah I thought it was weird, there's just a fish…
NOTHING ELSE…
weird…
Sadly, I remember having a meeting go exactly like that, well, except it wasn't the french spy I killed, and it wasn't a laser, and people were actually excited about extra glossy paper.
They forgot death by SnuSnu
Damn you, Mario-Squared Galaxy! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Deathcause: Barrel roll. Thats awesome :D
Dark matter? What game was that?
"Free copy paper?! Sweet! The apocalypse was totally worth it!"
and that he can be killed by JUMPING to attack silver… and geting flinged back -.-'
gueeessss whhhhhhhhaaaaattttt I LIKE BOMBSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS *creeper boom* (wait… boom minus m + b =( . Y . )
ooooh from south park. (derp)
… guess what… I can make stuff go * Stoped from going boom with a creeper boom* aaaaaaaah dang it…..
… FREE COPY PAPER?! SWEET copy paper c-copy paper"
… look at the above comment, now look back at me, now look at the comment again, I AM MADE OF HACKS!
uh I did but… that just sucks
weegee is a big meme… TRUST ME!
"blue was here and red cheated by hacking" any one see that big note here? cause…
not Fawful? ah! I NEED MORE FAWFUL!
oh Luigi! Yah I-*beatdown* one of the many pepole that hate trolls: I'm sorry but your green guy named Luigi is in another comment!
-1 for adding on the wrong side * +1 * not *1+*
aahhhhhh no more joke…
DO A BARREL ROLL!
YOU DON'T SEE THE GREEN ARM?! REALY?!
wolf: D:< UGLY SWEATERS?! *goes back in time to kill your mother*