There’s a reason they gave the guy so many extra lives… the odds were always stacked against him!
By TheBourgyman, submitted by Masterluigi452

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on February 11, 2011 · 2:12 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (385 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Artistic, Charts & Graphs, Chill Out, Failure, Massive Damage, Nintendo, Shocking Results, Smashy Smashy, Super Mario Bros, Things Are Heating Up, Under the Sea

· Leave a comment (145 Comments)


145 Responses to “CAUSE OF DEATH”

  1. oboewan on February 11th, 2011 2:18 pm

    Question: should I make a "princess is in another castle" joke, or skip it and go straight for the GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK?

  2. smartmonkey on February 11th, 2011 2:19 pm

    What about death cause by giant fire spiting turtle.

  3. El_bruno on February 11th, 2011 2:20 pm

    Suddenly, Ode to the Minions lost all of its meaning. I want to kill those asshole minions one by one damnit!!!!

  4. VyseRogueKing on February 11th, 2011 2:24 pm

    Don't forget graffiti, living fireballs, missiles, getting shot, spiked enemies, magic, stampeded, pies, springs and many many other horrible deaths.

  5. Ichiinu on February 11th, 2011 2:28 pm

    Aww, poor Bullet Bill feels left out…

  6. HeadcrabZombie on February 11th, 2011 2:30 pm

    Lost Death: Shot

  7. Strike_low on February 11th, 2011 2:34 pm

    "Resetting or Power Off The Console" -- can also kill him, and plus, there is no mole coming up at you and nagging..

  8. Angemon300 on February 11th, 2011 2:39 pm

    "Every man dies-Not every man really lives"-William Ross Wallace

  9. Vlauer on February 11th, 2011 2:49 pm

    "Cause of Death: Barrel Roll"

    Well, he clearly didn't press Z or R twice.


  10. MasqueNoMercy on February 11th, 2011 2:50 pm

    where are the CSI yyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh comments?!

    this is a post about a character dieing, it totally fits here so.. where are they?! wtf?!

  11. Walweegee on February 11th, 2011 2:52 pm

    Another cause of death: time paradox
    Like this:
    Past: Baby Mario fell in lava
    Present: Mario turns into a skeleton and dies

  12. Marzen on February 11th, 2011 2:53 pm

    Honestly, I'd prefer any of those deaths to the black hole one. It's never happened to me before, but I'm pretty sure that having all of your molecules torn apart and stretched out during spaghettification is slightly painful.

  13. died70 on February 11th, 2011 2:59 pm

    Looks like he couldn't…
    *puts on sunglasses*
    get a 1up.


  14. Judgment on February 11th, 2011 3:10 pm

    Now compare the amount of times Mario dies to the amount of deaths for Bowser in an average Mario game

  15. MagmarFire on February 11th, 2011 3:14 pm

    All that, and he never gets some.

    It must suck to be a Nintendo protagonist.

  16. Alpar on February 11th, 2011 3:26 pm

    You figured after dying so many times, some of the attention would go to that green guy.

  17. Sandbag on February 11th, 2011 3:56 pm

    Bullied to death?? He needs to call Kids Help Phone.

  18. invadingduck on February 11th, 2011 3:56 pm

    When you fall down a bottomless pit, you die of starvation.

  19. Dr. Plasma on February 11th, 2011 4:07 pm

    They forgot being Falcon Punched!

  20. TheAceOfSkulls on February 11th, 2011 4:26 pm

    Incidentally, my actual home (not lab, nor "vacation" one) has all these as traps (although the time out and pushed out of stage ones are a bit more… well the have much more spectacular results).

    I normally deactivate them when I invite friends over.

  21. BoxeyBrown on February 11th, 2011 4:31 pm

    Man, I am seriously reconsidering my plumbing career path now…

  22. Zyquux on February 11th, 2011 4:33 pm

    I think that is still falls under "Shell".

  23. dekuskrub1 on February 11th, 2011 4:39 pm

    what about blunt force trauma by hammer bros.?

  24. Dr. Plasma on February 11th, 2011 4:48 pm

    It's only awsome to be a Microsoft protagonist

  25. mikeorike on February 11th, 2011 5:09 pm

    yes sir!
    *blows up*

  26. Taiho on February 11th, 2011 5:15 pm

    Anyone else notice that Weegee was the one that got eaten by the fish?

  27. TheAceOfSkulls on February 11th, 2011 5:39 pm

    All the time.

    Unless you're talking about when I leave them on with friends coming over, for which I have a variety of answers.

    -When I'm under quota of backstabbing someone close to me
    -When they turn out to be the hero or are working with them
    -When they just got the raise/promotion/funding I was after
    -When they have displeased me/failed me for the last time
    -When I forget to turn them off
    -When I'm too lazy to turn them off
    -When they are coming over to fulfill their backstab quota
    -When I'm testing their supersoldier abilities
    -When I'm bored

  28. Nyoron on February 11th, 2011 6:05 pm

    This makes me cry at all of the times ive died in mario…sniff…*goes to corner and crys*

  29. Uzumakiclan43 on February 11th, 2011 6:15 pm

    Blown away and spaced out… also the side effects of eating any mushroom that you find lying in a mystery box. So remember kids, don't eat strange food from random yellow boxes that are floating in the air!

  30. AdeptIsaac on February 11th, 2011 6:42 pm

    They really need to include this on "1,000 Ways to Die" on SpikeTV. Mario would fit in quite nicely!

  31. Red on February 11th, 2011 6:55 pm

    What about being Falcon Punched?!? (or for that matter, anything SSB-related)

  32. DM1293 on February 11th, 2011 7:04 pm

    He's got 99 problems, but…a normal goomba isn't one. Go figure.


  33. Howlingwolf214 on February 11th, 2011 7:11 pm

    It's a tough life being a plumber.

  34. DM1293 on February 11th, 2011 7:13 pm

    Well lets see if Sonic can rival this.

    Drowned (With lovely drowning music for it)
    Killed by Spikes
    Killed by Spikes on a robot
    Coconut thrown by robot monkey
    The robot monkey itself
    A crazy ladybug or warthog robot runs into him
    Shot down by killer wasp
    Giant wrecking ball to the face
    Gravity reversals (Both to Sonic and a giant metal ball)
    Falling down a bottomless pit
    Unable to swim out of a bottomless sea
    Falling into space
    Grabbed by normal Robotnik grabber
    Crushed by giant Robotnik claw
    Drill up the ass
    Running into a spiked log
    Cut in half by metal sonic…twice…
    Tails stealing the ring you needed before being hit by laser
    Electrocution by final boss
    Apocalypse due to flames of disaster
    Hyper Metal Sonic
    Gambling Addiction Time Over
    Gambling Addiction Robotnik Kill
    Poisonous water
    Oil field
    Freezing to death
    Being shot out of a cannon
    Crushing Blocks
    Crushing Ice
    That spiked thing that just floats slowly toward you…That somehow always kills you
    SPIKES—oh wait they're fake…on a robot…OH CRAP FIREBALL
    Falling Debris
    Ice Spikes
    Falling into the atmosphere
    Flame Snot (I really don't know why Robotnik designed this.)

    Well what do you know. HE DOES!

  35. TheViolentLoli on February 11th, 2011 8:07 pm

    Kenny would be proud.

  36. AeonPlus on February 11th, 2011 8:23 pm

    Do you really die from falling in a bottomless pit?
    Because you won't reach the bottom.

  37. nighten2_0 on February 11th, 2011 8:28 pm

    wolf: even though thats a good idea… I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT! … Instead I will go my self! me: thank god hes gone… ugh why do I have a bad feeling about this… HEY MY SNAPPLE! '>_> let me guess…

  38. Deep Thought on February 11th, 2011 8:38 pm

    … but a princess ain't one.

  39. Vizardvalor on February 11th, 2011 8:54 pm

    Do my eye deceive me, A non-Pokemon related submission topping "Scyther can not learn FLY!".

  40. DrSexington on February 11th, 2011 9:02 pm

    Must have one hell of a life insurance plan

  41. SS4FireFox on February 11th, 2011 9:50 pm

    Ah the Edigdius Bordeium, or, in layman's terms, The Corner.

    very rare in nature, usually found in the border of it's habitat, it is a silent killer.

  42. GreenHillZone on February 11th, 2011 10:41 pm

    Where's "First Goomba from World 1-1"?

  43. MasterLuigi452 on February 11th, 2011 11:40 pm

    For 25 years of princess saving, Mario sure did earn a lot of bruises from here and there!
    Super Mario Bros. forever!

  44. Link1ab on February 12th, 2011 4:51 am

    Anyone else notice that Luigi is the one being eaten?

  45. DCMN on February 12th, 2011 1:56 pm

    Anyone noticed it's Luigi being eaten by the fish?

  46. VT_Juju_Man on February 12th, 2011 9:03 pm

    They forgot death by SnuSnu

  47. AuraMaster on February 13th, 2011 3:19 am

    Damn you, Mario-Squared Galaxy! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

  48. Deadalive on February 13th, 2011 3:37 pm

    Deathcause: Barrel roll. Thats awesome :D

  49. Hejiru on February 13th, 2011 3:55 pm

    Dark matter? What game was that?

  50. nighten2_0 on February 14th, 2011 9:40 pm

    aahhhhhh no more joke…

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