Gearing up the HERO (comic)

I mean, you don’t want to wear too much… all that armor can slow you down! Especially when you’re in the kitchen making me a sandwich!
By our pal Steve (Dueling Analogs)

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on January 23, 2011 · 1:38 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (465 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5)
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Artistic, Fashion Faux Pas, Irony, Sequential Art, Shields Up, Tips & Tricks, Uncategorized, Weak Points

· Leave a comment (181 Comments)


181 Responses to “Gearing up the HERO”

  1. codemaster525 on January 23rd, 2011 1:40 pm


  2. ZegenRuki on January 23rd, 2011 1:41 pm

    And yet, despite this, you hear no one complain.

  3. greenxboy on January 23rd, 2011 1:45 pm

    rpg rule no. 1
    girl always have 60% less armor than guy

  4. PewnyPL on January 23rd, 2011 1:47 pm

    "Especially when you’re in the kitchen making me a sandwich!"


  5. Nyoron on January 23rd, 2011 1:50 pm

    I have nothing to say for this…

  6. doepker on January 23rd, 2011 1:54 pm

    Look, if it makes you feel better, the bikini is made out of chainmail.

  7. Rain on January 23rd, 2011 1:55 pm
  8. oboewan on January 23rd, 2011 1:58 pm

    Hey, we'll stop liking it as soon as it stops being hot.
    It's your own damn fault, girls.

  9. tmotom on January 23rd, 2011 2:04 pm

    Ha. It's funny because it's true.

  10. DM1293 on January 23rd, 2011 2:07 pm

    Really this was already explained by Linkara, but the theory goes as such. Male and Female superheroes and supervillians have different body temperatures. The theory goes that the more heroic or evil a woman is, the more heat she exudes and thus must wear less equipment to avoid overheating.

    However, this is inversed for men, and so the more Heroic or Evil a man is, the COLDER he is and must therefore wear more clothing.

    This is why anti-heroes like Kratos and Dante typically wear no armor and thin clothing, but Master Chief wears it like plate mail.

  11. AuraMaster on January 23rd, 2011 2:07 pm

    Female characters in RPGs: Less coverage = ++defense

    Male characters in RPGs: Less coverage = ++yaoi fanfics

  12. Euphitonuim on January 23rd, 2011 2:08 pm

    This is always something that got on my nerves.

  13. NekoKnight on January 23rd, 2011 2:10 pm

    Heheh, she is bending over which is funny because… of the … intense gravity? Now I forgot why I was laughing.

  14. El_bruno on January 23rd, 2011 2:12 pm

    There's an easy explanation of the heroine's armor effectiveness Relevant

  15. UndeadLex on January 23rd, 2011 2:31 pm

    I dunno… something witty about breast plate.

  16. Flamerider on January 23rd, 2011 2:34 pm

    If a tree falls down and hits a woman, what's a tree doing in the kitchen?

  17. Ichiinu on January 23rd, 2011 2:34 pm

    And no one notices that the poor male child would probably be crushed under all that armor :/

  18. HadouKirby on January 23rd, 2011 2:37 pm

    If anyone is wondering, the 6th panel's item is called a codpiece.

  19. GazzyW007 on January 23rd, 2011 2:40 pm

    400 thousand dollars?

  20. Rain on January 23rd, 2011 2:52 pm

    <img src=""&gt;
    Only the clothes can be damaged

  21. Red on January 23rd, 2011 3:10 pm

    Ack! Can't see picture submissions!!! Halolz isn't looking right (white, everything on one side (left) of the browser, in a list)! WHAT IS HAPPENING OH CRUEL WORLD!?!?!?!?

  22. BoxeyBrown on January 23rd, 2011 3:14 pm

    I seen nothing wrong here…

    It's all about marketability!

  23. Dr.Panda on January 23rd, 2011 3:16 pm

    Hey guys! Wanna hear a funny joke?
    *Clears Throat*

    Women Rights


  24. uzumakiclan43 on January 23rd, 2011 3:29 pm

    Are we forgetting someone, gentlemen? The only female action star that wears the most clothes is this one!
    <img src=""&gt;
    <img src=>

  25. RoverTHX on January 23rd, 2011 3:45 pm

    Metroid says "bye"

  26. GameboyPATH on January 23rd, 2011 3:58 pm

    I'm expecting Samus to make her case in the comments section any minute now.

  27. zeldafan8 on January 23rd, 2011 4:30 pm

    True comic is true.

    What? they can't all be funny.

  28. TheUnknownNoob on January 23rd, 2011 4:51 pm

    Actually, for female characters, the sluttier/less protective the armor is, the more it costs. Because, you know, female characters are just all about upgrading the sluttiness.

    I think if you have, like, 9001 gold bars you can run around nekkid.

  29. chuckpebble on January 23rd, 2011 4:55 pm

    Laughed. Looked at "Batheo" ad in right column. Laughed harder.

  30. TheUnknownNoob on January 23rd, 2011 4:58 pm

    Of course, it should be noted that female skin in video games is like, the best armor there ever was. Fucking NOTHING can hurt it. If a female character is hit, expect a huge gash on their armor. Anywhere else, it just ain't happening. If a female character was like, nuked from orbit, they would just end up naked. Male characters on the other hand are EXTREMELY prone to getting sexy scars. (though hideously deforming ones are still off-limits… unless it's a villain.)

  31. Red on January 23rd, 2011 5:49 pm

    Okay. Now it shows up on safari.
    So, my comment on this is…

    I think it explains why the heroine wears skimpy clothing.

  32. MagmarFire on January 23rd, 2011 6:41 pm

    Well, with all that armor, the girl wouldn't be able to try to mesmerize her enemies and keep them from attacking her.

  33. Lekonua on January 23rd, 2011 7:18 pm

    I guess it's safe to say this game is a little…

    Stripped down?

  34. Zabrio on January 23rd, 2011 8:12 pm

    Panel 10, Rape face

  35. Deep Thought on January 23rd, 2011 8:14 pm

    And then I realize… there were at least 20 hard-ons that occurred as a result of this submission in the time that it took me to write this post.

    Why the hell do I have to look for women at a f***ing ENGINEERING SCHOOL!

  36. The_Uber_Geek on January 23rd, 2011 8:31 pm

    'Umm… shouldn't it be making me a sandvich"?

  37. DetectiveJ on January 23rd, 2011 9:13 pm

    This is Dueling Analogs' 2nd funniest comic…seriously even B^uckley did this joke better.

  38. Roflcopter419 on January 23rd, 2011 9:53 pm

    To be honest, most male characters don't wear that much armor either. Generally only the faceless troops of the empire that die like flies wear that much.

  39. MasterLuigi452 on January 23rd, 2011 11:07 pm

    Now that this comic mentions it, I don't know which game's heroine actually wears full clothing.
    I know Samus and that's about it…

  40. Ataeru on January 24th, 2011 12:17 am

    *kitchen joke*
    Hey Shawn why don't you tell your wife that and see what she thinks of it. :/

  41. Solid_Spy on January 24th, 2011 6:54 am

    These sexual slurs about women are very sexist, and I disapprove of this.

    I'm going to become President so we can talk about problems like these that are destroying America… just… talk. This will solve everything from Medicare/Medicaid to our decreasing financial budget.

    <img src=""&gt;

  42. sorin255 on January 24th, 2011 8:36 am

    personally i find a girl in plate armor kind of hot…. especially if they're tanking
    incidently all the paladins, death knights, and warriors i've ever created on wow are either nelf or human females :3

  43. Fyrus on January 24th, 2011 8:49 am
  44. KrakenKKR on January 25th, 2011 12:25 am

    Am I seriously the only one who noticed that the fat guy is Torneko? Halolz, I am disappoint.

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