POKEMON CANNOT SWIM OR FLY NATURALLY UNTIL WE GIVE THEM A CD THAT TELLS THEM HOW... WTF

They can evolve up to two times in a single lifetime… but god forbid my bird type Pokémon learn to fly on it’s own! Nature in Kanto is weird!
By Bob McPhee

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on January 18, 2011 · 11:44 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (271 votes, average: 4.47 out of 5)
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Categories:
Irony, Nintendo, Pokémon, Special Attacks, Weird

· Leave a comment (197 Comments)





 

197 Responses to “POKEMON CANNOT SWIM OR FLY NATURALLY”

  1. Deep Thought on January 18th, 2011 11:53 am
  2. TCC on January 18th, 2011 11:59 am

    Run into pokemon swimming in the water while surfing, and fishing. Catch them and they suddenly can't swim….. WTF

  3. Vabolo on January 18th, 2011 12:01 pm

    Well, they actually can. The Hidden Machines that teach "Fly" and "Surf" actually teach the Pokémon to do things they normally do, with the addition of carrying their lazy-ass trainers. Because we all know you can't swim at the beach in Slateport city!

  4. Vlauer on January 18th, 2011 12:03 pm

    You know what, Oak? Since your Motherfucking grandson can fly on a Spearow, Lemonade costs 300 cash, and you're showing my mother balls, when I'm adventuring, I stopped caring for logic in this world.

  5. strayjohno on January 18th, 2011 12:05 pm

    *SURF

    I suck harder than Magikarp and I'm sorry! :'('''''

  6. Vabolo on January 18th, 2011 12:13 pm

    *Surf

    *Quadruple weakness to water

    *AIM FOR THE HORN!

  7. Vabolo on January 18th, 2011 12:15 pm

    Also, my face might just suddenly change in the next moments. WITNESS MY TRUE FORM! WITNESS IT! >:O

  8. Cookino on January 18th, 2011 12:20 pm

    Scyther, use fly!
    *Scyther cannot learn fly*
    *sees gary oak flying on a doduo*
    What the hell

  9. Edeye on January 18th, 2011 12:22 pm

    Those Pokemans are robots I tell you! ROBOTS!
    Man made weapons to take over the world..
    rel="nofollow">

  10. MoG on January 18th, 2011 12:28 pm
  11. Zyquux on January 18th, 2011 12:48 pm

    Well, to be fair, Salamance and Rayquaza can learn Fly naturally…
    Perhaps the HMs are teaching the Pokemon to carry trainers instead of dropping them?

  12. RainX7 on January 18th, 2011 12:53 pm

    Catch a fish Pokemon

    Use them to fight on dry land

  13. uzumakiclan43 on January 18th, 2011 1:00 pm

    OBJECTION! In Heart Gold and Soul Silver, you can catch a wild Goldeen that naturally knows Waterfall. At level 20.

    And I like to see a MissingNo. being taught a move this way without the TM being corrupted.

  14. DeadCivilian on January 18th, 2011 1:04 pm

    Obtain TM.
    Don't backup the fucking CD.
    Destroy CD after one use.

  15. Ichiinu on January 18th, 2011 1:11 pm

    *takes pokemon to move deleter"
    Yeah, can you make my slowbro forget surf?
    And how about Amnesia while you're at it?

  16. TheUnknownNoob on January 18th, 2011 1:45 pm

    Pikachu has learned WALK!

    Delete old move?

    >Yes

    Which move would you like to delete?

    >Breathing

  17. EphEphEcksIII on January 18th, 2011 1:58 pm

    I wonder what the TMs and HMs would do if they were put on blu-ray DVDs…….a man can dream.

  18. Annonith on January 18th, 2011 2:46 pm

    Okay here is the question:
    Let's assume the Pokemons are robots and they can learn new moves from CD's.
    Cool. Now since not all Pokemons can learn all moves let's assume TM's and HM's are different programs written for different operating systems, so some Pokemons are Windows, some Linux and some Mac based or/and they have different hardware setting and some programs just won't "run" on different Pokemons.
    Now the question is: What kind of freak of nature/robotic Mew is that he can learn EVERY KIND OF HM's and TM's?

    …wow Louis was right, these peels are awesome…

  19. VyseRogueKing on January 18th, 2011 3:04 pm

    Don't question it. Just make sure your pikachu's balloons don't pop or we're all screwed.

  20. Gaandolf on January 18th, 2011 3:20 pm

    My theory is that pokemon eat TMs. They gain the powers in them by doing so. That's why you can only use them once.

    You don't want to know why the HMs are able to work more than once.

  21. Alpar on January 18th, 2011 3:21 pm

    So…exactly where do you put the CDs in…

  22. Jimmy on January 18th, 2011 3:37 pm

    Eww…the water suddenly got warmer…

  23. Jimmy on January 18th, 2011 3:44 pm
  24. RainX7 on January 18th, 2011 4:00 pm

    Fighting on the sea

    A wild Gyarados appears
    Trainer: I choose you, Snorlax!
    *Snorlax drowns*
    Trainer: What have I done?!

    Oak: There's a time and place for everything…

  25. ovahdrive on January 18th, 2011 4:39 pm

    Which means it obviously can't be true.

  26. Jaser965 on January 18th, 2011 6:19 pm

    That. Explains. EVERYTHING!
    The reason a Pokemon will blindly follow a ten-year-old, who is usually smaller than the Pokemon, into a battle to the weary (see: death) with other ten-year-olds! It believes the ten-year-old is it's mother/father! They're the perfect slaves! It makes perfect sense! It also explains why GOD will also follow said ten-year-old, so bonus points for that, Red!

  27. Nyoron on January 18th, 2011 6:50 pm

    If a pikachu you get from that one pokemon game for wii knows surf, what is wrong with it…?

  28. xxpikalexxx on January 18th, 2011 7:16 pm

    Like a G6?

  29. BoxeyBrown on January 18th, 2011 8:14 pm

    WTF indeed oak…

  30. Bobomberman on January 18th, 2011 8:27 pm

    Would have been funnier without the ….WTF at the end (that should be MY reaction…not his), I'll just pretend it's not there though :D

  31. shadow649 on January 18th, 2011 8:30 pm

    Already done amazingly. Magikarp use HYPER BEAM!!!! trololololololol.

  32. tmotom on January 18th, 2011 9:20 pm

    Wait, wait, wait… Those were CDs in pokeman?

  33. XPengooX64 on January 18th, 2011 9:22 pm

    They also can't walk past/around tiny sapling trees, and making eye contact is a crime punishable by battles. ALSO:

    "Oh noes, you beat all my Pokemans.
    HERE TAKE ALL MY MONEY HURR."

    Pokemon = No Sense Makes

  34. Da_Noob on January 18th, 2011 9:23 pm

    Who's this candlejack guy? is he famo

  35. JesterJoe on January 18th, 2011 9:30 pm

    Have a Pokemon advice meme
    Everyone's happy.
    But don't you dare try any others.

  36. zeldafan8 on January 18th, 2011 10:25 pm

    Teach your pokemon dive.

    You can suddenly breathe underwater.

  37. mikeorike on January 18th, 2011 10:59 pm

    that explain why golem refuses to use rollout. What are you gonna do with a body like that!?

  38. Deep Thought on January 19th, 2011 8:07 am

    "rocks fall everyone dies"

    you guys hear that voice? I could have sworn that somebody had just said tha-

  39. JboneDRS on January 19th, 2011 7:13 pm

    Don't tell that to Ash.

  40. MagmarFire on January 19th, 2011 9:19 pm

    inb4BrawlintheFamilyreference

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