He’s been playing the hero so long, even he can’t remember what his degree is in!
By Oboewan
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 13, 2010 · 11:12 PM
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Categories: Advice Meme, Half-Life, Irony, PC, Playstation, Science/Math, Valve Software, Xbox 360 · Leave a comment (118 Comments) |
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penis cake
Gordan Freeman never did science…….EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!!!!
An object in motion… *crowbars a Combine* …stays in motion.
he did too! he pushed that lawn mower into a lightning bolt. it's totally science and physics.
rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow">…
1st the cake is a lie, Half-Life 3 is perhaps a lie, and now the science is a lie?…
Am I sensing a trend here, Valve?
killing aliens isn't science?
Photoshop head of character on a multi-colored background
Think it's funny
"Hey great work Gordon, throwin' that switch an all. I can see your MIT education really pays for itself"
God I love Barney.
Well, he does know how to use every gun automatically….that's gotta count for something, right?
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v358/tveye363/Game%20Covers/freeman.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket">
Save humen kind.
Live full-life consequences.
Gordon Freeman has a PhD in Physics. That's why he needs to do basic physics puzzles to progress.
Yep, his MIT education really made him go places… In more ways than one.
What next valve? My medics?
-looks around- That Medic's a LIE!
Hrm…Indeed
"Hm…let's see. If I place this 5 kg boulder on one end of this 20 m plank, while the fulcrum is adjusted 0.45 m from its center of mass, the additional amount of mass I would need to counterbalance my own weight such that I don't tip the scale would be…"
…
"Ah, screw it."
*piles on everything in the immediate area on one end*
PhD in Physics, MA in Kicking Your Ass.
BA in Women's Studies.
Makes sense to me.
Associates in Sign Language.
"Now now, Gordon doesn't need to hear all this, he's a highly trained professional. Now lets just let him push the hazardous material into our superconductor without a helmet on."
No, THAT HAT IS A LIE
The hats were always lies though.
That's real deep Freeman.
Truer words have never been not spoken.
Well there's a reason for that. If you kill all the aliens you can steal their research materials, and viola! You then advance civilization and you are a hero and a scientist and a political figurehead to boot!
And thus, the denizens of Halolz cast forth their -1's upon the nonbeliever, mercilessly dragging the now-suffering fool down to the depths of the comments. His cries of mockery of the advice-giver were silenced beneath words of praise, references, and lulz.
But deep in their hearts, a darkness grew ever so slightly larger, for the community knew that the man of 61 held truth in his words.
I find it to be more of a art, much like trolling.
If this was a Courage Kratos it would be +12 already.
Become a scientist with an MIT education
Realize killing aliens is a better and more exciting career choice
THAT LIE IS A SPY.
I'm still waiting on courage GLaDOS oh crap I just gave someone that idea didn't I?
THE PIE IS A LIE!
MY COMMENT IS A LIE
Promise cake for completing trials
Send subject to fiery death
umm
Force to incinerate cube
Give shit to subject later.
Try to kill test subject
Expect her not to be pissed
you win. I can't top that. My wit was used up in that last pathetic attempt.
One should know that there is a massive difference between "science" and "SCIENCE!"
"Science" involves carefully contemplated experiments with controlled variables and whatnot.
"SCIENCE!" involves hitting aliens in the face with crowbars while throwing explosive containers at them with a gravity gun.
Gordon Freeman has his PHD in SCIENCE!, not science.
If god had wanted aliens to live he would have made Gordon Freeman do science. And maybe talk.
THAT SPY IS A cake?
Sorry you'll have to speak up! I'm not wearing any pants.
Don't forget launching saw blades into zombies and running over more aliens with a jeep.
Provide subject with weapon that can create interconnected portals over long distances.
Have it used to move blocks onto switches.
Prepare turrets to kill test subject
Make them unable to stay upright
Freeman's a scientist. Therefore, he is also a geek.
<img src="http://www.bdgamers.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/why_gordon_dosen__t_talk_by_makani.jpg" />
It's kind of hard to do science whenever all hell breaks loose, ya know? Can't crunch all them numbers or play with hazardous materials whenever some alien, indigenous territorial species, metro-cop, or marine is trying to create a brand new hole in your face.
However, you CAN immediately determine things like muzzle velocity, position determining via sound waves, and how long it takes for one's life to cease after they've taken trauma to the cerebral cortex in the midst of a firefight.
Get destroyed by vindictive subject.
Become furious about it when she comes back to visit.
There's a -1 troll lurking around. Commence medication. +1 gun GO. FOR SCIENCE!
Trolling is art? Then that must mean that I've seen so many beautiful work of arts in my life then.
IM DELICIOUS.
Doctor Freeman's is in the process of extensive field testing of the Hazard suit.
During this testing he has also preformed numerous tests on the bullet resistance of Combine armor and resistance to impacts and explosions.
He has dissected the bodies of those infected by headcrabs and has help protect the environment by recycling tools used for these dissections.
Since the Combine took over we have been unable to research these new alien specimens, which makes Doctor Freeman's research extremely valuable.
and that's the truth.
OMNOMNOM HE IS DELICIOUS.
Because real men don't need puny helmets to protect their heads!
but was he poisonous too?
So that's why the heavy doesn't usually wear a hat…
Heheh… "full-life"
I see what you did there, therefore I will withhold the Grammar Hammer and just provide friendly advice: Human*.
Now you're thinking with physics!
True story:
Back in Geometry class, we had a problem that had us calculating the angle of a UFO's laser as well as our probability of survival. And yes, this was in our textbook.
Huh, did I ever post this? I've been meaning to post this.
nope you haven't, I say go forth and post it so many shall comment….for the greater good.
Apparently someone has not heard about Gordon Freeman's brother…
-insert Kill Bill music and red light filter here-
Ah. Hmmm… I think I may have heard of him, but I don't know much about him. Oops. >_>
Ahem: http://artoftrolling.memebase.com/
Guys, you need to speak up!
Hello?
Damn it, speaker's unplugged again.
Damnit, good thing I looked at the comments first, I should've figured someone would've had this idea before me.
Achievement Unlocked: Violence in Science.
Save the world.
Get stalked by guys in suits.
Unless acted on… *Combine hits wall* …by another force.
Look for "Full-Life Consequences" in YouTube.
His brother is much chattier. He has a tendency to scream "at the top of lungs."
I think Gordan Freeman is a pretty cool guy. eh kills aliens and doesnt afraid of anything
Although, I can't help but think that I've seen this picture in the comment boxes before…
He also got a masters degree in AWESOME.
Or here on Halolz. If I'm not mistaken, Shawn posted the whole series.
My Professor Layton disapproves of your Professor Layton. <_<
Mind = Blown
Uh…well….*ahem*….perhaps we can work out some sort of timeline theory here…uh….Unwounded Future style…
more importantly, for science
What do you mean not actual science… it's all about muzzle velocity and momentum. And "fucktons" of voltage
Well, as long as the end of this story doesn't make me want to bawl my eyes out, I'm good.
Im poisonous? I thought that was snipers.
Ok, good enough for me
As the guy who made the template, I commend thee.
Well, they ALMOST made him put on the lab coat and do Science, but then fate intervened and he did SCIENCE! instead.
YEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Control advanced portal technology
Stay bolted to ground
This begs the question: what exactly happened during his MIT years?
I WANNA GO TO MIT NOW.
I agree, and shall risk my own reputation in order to bring this poor soul from an unworthy judgement.
I call for +1s to redeem the poor and irish.
+1 squad… ASSEMBLE!
Very well spoken Freeman.
Screw quantum physics, Freeman makes his own laws of the universe.
And Newton's 3rd law does not apply for zero point energy?
Can we just take away Shawn's Advice Meme skill? Or lack thereof. (AWW SNIZZAP DAWG)
…you monster.
Remiel, I do believe his brother goes by the name of Candlejack. Ahem, but we should not say that word because of the no-life conseque-
Duke Nukem Forever is a bigger lie than the cake though.
Almost as big of a lie as that one.
The one that Candlejack will capture you if you say his na-
Dang it, I'm really out of rope now, be back later for you.
?
…
riding bathtub rockets through portals seems to be a good example of SCIENCE! too
SAVE THE WORLD
DON'T TALK TO ANYONE IN THE PROCESS
There might not be science in game, but it sure has puzzle in it.
Well, this picture really says it all…
Oh, wait..does 'it' say anything?
Be specifically told not to go to Ravenholm
Go anyway
ya'know, this isn't together all that funny now….
no one breaks the silence! *whips*