WITHIN THE FIRST 5 YEARS OF YOUR JOURNEY, ASH, WE'VE DISCOVERED ABOUT 350 MORE

Shit, we should have started sending 10 year olds out to do this research years ago! We weren’t getting anywhere before that!
By Ben

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on August 21, 2010 · 11:58 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (421 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Categories:
Advice Meme, Irony, Nintendo, Pokémon

· Leave a comment (117 Comments)





 

117 Responses to “WE’VE DISCOVERED ABOUT 350 MORE”

  1. SnowKatana on August 22nd, 2010 12:02 am

    That has to do with Team Fortress 2 HOW!?

  2. FOTEPX on August 22nd, 2010 12:05 am

    10 year olds hold all the answers. ESPECIALLY ones that stand on top of mountains for 3 years.

  3. AuraMaster on August 22nd, 2010 12:13 am

    Each year they also get more stupid looking, Ash. This wouldn't happen to Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak.

  4. CdiGanon on August 22nd, 2010 12:16 am

    Obviously 9 of those 350 newly discovered pokemon were our favorite band of mercenaries on Team Fortress 2.

    …Right Shawn?

  5. dekuskrub1 on August 22nd, 2010 12:16 am

    and in the next 5 years, we will find over 9000 more

  6. DM1293 on August 22nd, 2010 12:17 am

    I blame this entirely on inbreeding. I mean, just look at Doduo.

  7. Cevian on August 22nd, 2010 12:19 am

    I don’t usually use healing items but when I do I use Dos Lemonade.

  8. DM1293 on August 22nd, 2010 12:26 am

    WAITAMINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. SCREW THE INBREEDING. Five years ago, Ash started his journey. At the same time, so did Gary Motherfuckin Oak. ….GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK IS THE REASON. HE IS THE KEY.

  9. Fatehehhhh on August 22nd, 2010 12:34 am

    Isn't it obvious? Oak is the 10th class.

  10. Harbinger of Oak on August 22nd, 2010 12:34 am

    So you're on top of the world, caught all 150 poke'mon, got all your badges ready to go but then you find out that 350 more have been discovered, losing you your Poke'mon Master title. And who gives you a call letting you know he's just caught 500 newly discovered poke'mon?

    Gary Motherfucking Oak.

  11. Brawling Bouse on August 22nd, 2010 12:45 am

    CATCH ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POKEMON

    DISCOVER MORE.

    PUNCH PROFESSOR OAK SQUARE IN THE DICK.

  12. GameboyPATH on August 22nd, 2010 1:05 am

    I will catch 500 Pokemon, and I will catch 500 more.

  13. CakeBard on August 22nd, 2010 1:14 am

    And somehow, breeding a marill in one generation yielded a marill, but then, all of a fucking sudden, breeding two marills makes an azurill.
    FUCKING POKEMON, HOW DO THEY WORK?

  14. Dimomarg on August 22nd, 2010 2:59 am

    Weird. It's still funny.

  15. Dmanstew on August 22nd, 2010 3:11 am

    Ash heard of this. He then proceeded to ditch all his previous Pokemon to start a new journey. He sees what you're doing, and isn't playing your games…

  16. TheRealLanthus on August 22nd, 2010 4:11 am

    there are over 500 pokemon
    Gary oak has 1,000 of them.

  17. Darkangelsv1 on August 22nd, 2010 4:59 am

    And even if you catch 'em, you'll still get a diploma…

    …which will be useless because they will still find more pokés. The diploma is just a proof of wasted time.

  18. FrEEz on August 22nd, 2010 7:10 am

    Eventually though each region contacted the next. Kanto and Johto were close enough to have a train between the two continents, however hoenn and sinnho were too far away, and transportation between the Kanto-Johto region (yes i just merged them) and the other regions was simply too risky due to dangerous weather conditions. However this did not stop them from managing to communicate with each other. And so with each pokemon game, what is simply happening is that the regions have finally come into contact with another piece of the continent…and they immediately send pokedex information among other things. That's why every new region already knows of the previous pokemon, but not vice versa.

    Now… there are two unanswered questions.

    Who was that psychic pokemon who caused the Great Split of the Continent? Nobody really knows..

    As for the second question…Who was the one who first found that pokeball in the grass? Well of course non other than GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK'S great great great great great great great grandfather, however the exact number of generations between gary oak and the researcher who found the first pokeball in kanto is uncertain.

    ….

    Okay seriously who ever bothers to read this very LONG BS which as of now I started writing at 12PM after not sleeping the night before will get a +1 from me.

  19. meinmattias on August 22nd, 2010 8:16 am

    How much longer before people realize that this sudden emergence of Pokemon will put the lives of everyone in peril?

  20. monky2740 on August 22nd, 2010 10:10 am

    but mew doesnt hate people at all. as a matter of fact mew saved all humans from mewtwo in the first movie. also mew is said to be the ancestor of EVERY pokemon in existance (other than arceus), making it the one of the oldest pokemon in existance

  21. Shatman on August 22nd, 2010 10:40 am

    Who wants a sandwich? *opens fridge, discovers 20 new pokemon living on sandwich meat*

  22. DCMN on August 22nd, 2010 4:39 pm

    POKEMON. Confusing you since 1996.

  23. TehVortex on August 22nd, 2010 5:34 pm

    And in these 5 years we've found out (among many others) what happens if you:

    I. Stick a couple Snorlaxs alone with some afrodisiacs (or, Lax Incense, to give it its proper name),
    II. Take an Eevee to a frozen rock
    III. And have scientists rammed a disc up a Porygon's kiester, take a look at it two years later, and ram another one up there.

  24. TehVortex on August 22nd, 2010 5:55 pm

    I'll be honest. I just saved the image and moved on.

  25. Aboithagameboi on August 22nd, 2010 9:17 pm

    Then please explain the Great, Ultra, and Master balls. Also, the Pokemon must have created their own enslavement, as no ancient human could even begin to comprehend the workings of a Poke Ball. So they asked the Pokemon if they wanted a home (they must have said yes). The Pokemon then created the Poke Ball. The humans captured the Pokemon, and instead of using them to create more comfortable Pokeballs, they used them to create more powerful Pokeballs (Thus explaining the Great, Ultra, and Master Balls). Over time, they used them for work, and in battles, as you said. Then the youth released his Pokemon, and the rest is history.

    I would also like you to explain how a single Poke Ball survived for so long. Along with the so-called 'destruction' of the metallic jail cells, they must also survive the climate changes, and the wild Pokemon attacking, or even entering , the Pokeballs.

  26. werewolfsfury on August 22nd, 2010 9:42 pm

    but how is that an ancient pokeball in gold and silver it said people made pokeballs out of apricorns but they look totally different and in the fourth movie young oak had a pokeball that looked nothing like current pokeballs ( it even had some kind of twist thing that kept it locked).

  27. PewnyPL on August 23rd, 2010 7:04 am

    I wonder. Why is this submission in Team Fortress 2 category?

  28. sUm GuY w/ Pi on August 23rd, 2010 2:35 pm

    WHT EVER HAPPENED TO THE CHILD LABOR LAWS?!

  29. sUm GuY w/ Pi on August 23rd, 2010 2:39 pm

    Legendary Pokemon: "I HATE YOU!"
    Trainer: USED MASTERBALL!

  30. linebarrel on November 27th, 2010 2:36 am

    JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON AND PUNCH SOME ONE SQUARE IN THE DICK. GET PUNCHED SQUARE IN THE DICK.

  31. fyre10 on March 26th, 2011 9:04 pm

    Ah… Poor foresight in storytelling! It never fails!

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