Huh. That explains where all my money was going… I didn’t think it cost Mom 100 dollars to send me a Super Potion!
By chikinnugets, submitted by Kittykit!
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on August 15, 2010 · 7:05 PM
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Categories: Adult Situations, Artistic, Incoming Transmission, Nintendo, Off Duty, Pokémon, Sequential Art, Too Much Free Time · Leave a comment (91 Comments) |
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Somehow, Gary Oak had something to do with this.
Dammit mom… what did I tell you last time? I can't be pokemans master if you keep blowing my money away….
See, this is why HG/SS were made; in hopes that you would learn from your good ol' G/S/C mistakes. This poor soul did not, and now his mom has 3 kinds of pokéherpes to show for it.
The man in the comic is Gary Oak.
I said it here first, folks.
He's not the dancer, but he's certainly the one who's going to "take her into the back room" later.
Oh she is getting some super potion alright. Some super potion all over her face in a few minutes.
It seems "UR MOM" has contracted the rare Pokerus virus! Now her stats will increase twice as fast!
STDs: No longer something to fear.
Every time you win a battle, you send a good chunk of your winnings back to your mom. Hopefully, she'll take good care of it; maybe invest it, or at least, keep it in a safe place. Yet you notice that there's not as much as you remember sending back… when you return home to ask your mom about it, who do you see banging her in the kitchen?
GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK. He probably took the money, too.
GODDAMN YOU GARY OAK!
Gold is getting stripped out of his money so his mom can pay people who strip out of their clothes.
Hey it's tough being a single parent.
She needs someone to Poké-mom every once in a while.
Someone needs to touch, those very breasts.
Cause no one ever was.
Getting laid is her real test
after menopause.
She will travel to find a man
then open far and wide
Each man, will understand
what she feels like inside.
Pokémom!
Too late. I said otherwise. Now that I've said it, it must be canon.
*claps*
Replace "each man" with GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK, and you may win a Grammy.
Isn't he the gym leader at that time? I'm sure he can get better chicks to bang, like Lorelei, or Karen, or Sabrina?
Fill in the blanks—
1.- ________ is overused, everybody has played with it and everybody knows it from toe to head. It's always looking for people to use it and has entertained many generations. Has a lot of creatures inside it that you must take to a specialized medical institution to heal. Though it's very old, it has never leave a unsatisfied player, 'cept the really unexperienced ones
a.- Pokemon
b.- Your mother
c.- Lol I dunno
Damnit mom, if you're gonna use it on male strippers, at least invite me!
So I decided, why not give my mom all my money while I mess around. After every battle, I get a call from my mom. She found something useful. I look in my pc and see a hyper potion and a great ball. Thanks mom. I check to see how much is left. No one spends 100,000 poke on a great ball and a hyper potion. I don't want a charmander doll in my room!
I KNEW an oran berry didnt cost $1000!
He's banging all of them, AND Cynthia, because he's GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
BLU Spy: 'Zat would be YOUR MOTHER! *slams the files on the table*
And now ladies and gentlemen, the main attraction.
In fact, in a conversation with a die-hard pokemon fanboy, if you change *pokemon* with *your mother*, it'll all make sense
She's gonna catch 'em all!
Red makes the money, mom spends Red's money, leaving Red with Blue balls…
His girth, you can't ignore it.
DAMN IT MOM!!! You're SUPPOSED to be using my cash ONLY to keep the supplies well stocked for when I return home so you can make me my Cinnabar Volcano Burgers!!! Get it straight!!! Also, I'm bringing Kris home, so knock on the door BEFORE you come into my room. I'm going to show her my great balls…cause she doesn't know what they look like.
At first I was confused, but then I saw the awesomeness of your song. You may continue.
Yeah, she apparently likes to fondle a certain trainer's master balls too…
Doctor: "Yep, the balls are inert alright."
That's just how the circle of life works.
Cypher: "Damnit mom, if you're gonna use it on male strippers, at least invite me!"
Me: (ಠ_ಠ)
NOPE.avi
DO NOT WANT.
THAT'S NOT A VERY GOOD EXCUSE FOR USING MY MONEY ALL THE TIME, MOM
FUCK
That guy you see is the bottom half of a Diglett
Someone get this man an internet!
Oh, it does. Just not the kind you give Pokemon.
Pity-let's-give-eachother-a-+1 time?
OBJECTION!
GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK is banging Red's mother IN Kanto!
Hmmm… It's Pokemon, right?
Don't worry, I'm sure he meant to say "At least get me a female one!"
I hope
Please tell me you want a female.
Aye, Cypher, I didn't know you want to see that strippers "pokeballs"…
You mean GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK'S HEAVY BALLS?
Wow! An award statue! Aw, it's a Grammy. rel="nofollow">
Can I buy a vowel?
Heavy: "His balls…they are made of STEEL!!!"
Which is actually Professor Oak. He's glad he came…
Wait…
So thats where my 70000 saved pokedollars went. Glad to know I only got a moonstone from it. :D
Pokeruskis.
RADIATIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
I think Gold's mom bought several of those.
The only chick he hasn't banged…is Torchick. And that's debatable.
1p < 105p.
Sorry folks, it seems MAH BOI Leo is right.
>Now that I've said it, it must be canon.
Logic bitches!
Someone should make TF2 with the Pokemon trainers. O.O
OBJECTION!
That's Gold's mom, not Red's.
/pokenerd
Money isn't the only thing she's blowing!
And he used the Pokemon league's private skarmory-shaped jet to get to pallet town, at tax payer's expense, because he's GARY FUCKING OAK.
*Buh dum tsh*
And shove them into her pants!
Damn…I should have known. I thought it was suspicious when I found that used condom stuck to the bottom of that Super Potion she sent me, but I just wasn't sure. I probably should have suspected since Super Potions aren't normally all white and sticky…Oh God…I TRIED TO HEAL MY QUILAVA WITH IT!
I….
I don't know what to say for this submission…
OBJECTION! According to the Japanese version of the Anime, Gary Motherfucking Oak is gay! (Seriously, he has holded HANDS with Ash, and at some points he was CRADLED by Ash)
When Gary Motherfucking Oak sleeps with guys, it simply means all the women are exhausted.
Actually, I was referring to how I commented a couple minutes before him…
SILENCE.
THE PEEN HAS SPOKEN.
and then they all whited out.
Ssshh…it's okay, it'll be all over soon…*NECK SNAP*
Sssshhh…
NOPE.avi
All he has to do is hop on the Magnet Train (even when it's out of commission because he's GARY MOTHERFUCKIN' OAK and he's got all sort of electric types to UBER CHARGE that bullet train) and he can bang them back & forth.
Considering that there's like a 4 to 1 ratio in terms of the population density of women to men, that's a LOT of chicks to make tired.
…or more specifically, sick Miltank.
I wouldn't be surprised if he actually OWNED that strip club. Shoot, the guy owned a car and his own batch of hot cheerleaders. HE COULD EVEN DRIVE AT THE AGE OF TEN. Shoot, I don't care if that guy is an orphan, he's MOTHERFUCKIN' rich b***!!!
I miss the Snorlax Doll. (HeartGold & SoulSilver removed the room decoration feature AND THE GOOD CASINO SLOT MACHINES. Damn Nintendo for caving in to parent's concerns about gambling!!!)
It's like saying "I really blew it this time sweetie. I'm sorry. I went to a casino, a strip club, and spent a week at a 5 star hotel. I hope this makes it up to you! (I had to use what was left of your funds to get it, but it's the thought that counts right?"
Just like they decided to change Gold's name to Ethan. He will always be Gold to me, as Silver will always be Silver. Kris beats big hat girl any day. They should have kept her in the remakes.
What? Nintendo decided naming the main characters after colors wasn't good enough? Come on, Brendan? I miss the cool color names. =(
Did you forget option 'd.- All of the above' ?
If so, I choose option B!
If not, I choose option A!
Is it wrong that I heard this the entire comic? rel="nofollow">
So, Gold beat the Elite 4 when his mom was getting Professor Oak to striptease?
That's why he came when he heard you beat them. IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
Dude! Her Lopunny is hot!
I mean, uhh….. *makes a growling sound*
((For the record, I am a Lucario, and Missinko caught me that one time))
She's not spending it on Poke'balls. She's spending it on MAN BALLS
Mom… I thought that we'd had a talk about this…
Gary's a Heavy?!?!?!?!
Good times…good times.
Also, relevant: rel="nofollow">
(For Miles)
…aaaaand rel="nofollow">
(The Birds and the Beedrills)
I ain't fondling no Silver Balls…
Wait…
I was going to say Cypher's a girl, but I remembered there are no women on the internet.
That Gardevoir never knew what was coming to her.
Aahh, the days before my monocle. Good times.
Who do you think the guy in the thong is?
Nope
*neckstretch*
I knew those berries Mom sent me looked suspiciously squishy and full of red juice………..
………..
……….
OH GOD I JUST WENT THERE
So that's why my bank account keeps shrinking…
here here
Story of my life.