May the fortress be with you!
By Just Tom
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on May 17, 2010 · 4:16 PM
  (322 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Cover Art, Movies, PC, Playstation, Robots, Star Wars, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software, Xbox 360 · Leave a comment (125 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
(4.83 out of 5)
I would pay someone to make this real.
Mpph Mphh mppffh mpfff mpff-mfff mpfff
(Your lack of fire deceives me)
Scoot, I am your father.
A long time ago, in a 2fort far far away…
Heavy: "chewbaka roar(?)"
"I was never on your dark si-"
-Crit Rocked-
I find your lack of quote accuracy…disturbing.
The Medic shot first.
2FORT WARS
Round IV: A New Update
It is a period of multiplayer war. RED Snipers, striking from a hidden spawn point, have won their first victory against the evil BLU Team.
During the battle, RED Spies managed to steal secret Intelligence to the BLU Team’s ultimate weapon, the MECHA-HEAVY, an armored Heavy with enough power to destroy an entire map.
Pursued by the BLU Team’s sinister Soldiers, Pyro races home to her command post, custodian of the stolen Intelligence that can save her Team and restore freedom to the server….
EN-G1 is credit to rebellion!
DEAR GOD! what did they do to the medic?!
NOOOOO! It's not possible!
the writing underneath wrecked it, just the photo was good enough.
Thoughts?
That's no moon, it's a Control Point!
God I love that Dispense-2-D-2!! My only concern is seeing how the TF2 cast is mostly (and by mostly I mean all) male who gets the shaft and ends up being Princess Leia?
Demofett encased your Han Sniper in carbonite. Your resistance is futile.
And the Hoovy! He has repressed homosexual feelings for you!
Don't forget to look forward to their next sequel:
2Fort Wars -- Revenge of the Sentry!
inb4unlessit'sa
A long time ago in a map far far away…
2FORT WARS
—
REDEngineer: [in a holo message] Soldier: Years ago, you served in the Updates War; now i beg your help against the BLU. I regret that I can't tell you face-to-face; but my ship has fallen under attack and my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I've placed information vital to the survival of the rebellion into the memory systems of this Dispenser unit. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Soldier; you're my only hope.
—
RSoldier: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Soldier on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did.
RScout: What is it?
Obi-Wan: A bat. This is the weapon of a RED Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a gun; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the RED Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times… before the BLU.
—
BPyro: [seeing RScout and RMedic disguised as BPyros taking RHeavy to the prison level] Mpph hudda hudda Mpph
RScout: Prisoner transfer. Cell block 1138, ya dimwit
BPyro: Mpph hudda hudda Mmph
[signals another BPyro to check RHeavy; RHeavy breaks out of his binders]
RMedic: Look out he's loose!
RScout: He'll tear us all apart!
RMedic: I'll get 'im!
[they shoot out the security cameras and kill the BPyros]
—--
BDemoman: I've been waiting for you, Soldier. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now *I* am the master.
RSoldier: Only a master of evil, filthy BLU
—-
Sentry: I would much rather have gone with Master Scout than stay here with you. I don't know what all this trouble is about, but I'm sure it must be your fault.
[Dispenser beeps an angry response]
Sentry: You watch your language! .
—-
RSoldier: Blow me up, i shall only become stronger
—-
RScout: [Kill his first BPyro] How you like that?!
RMedic: Don't get cocky kid.
—
REngineer: The battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the fleet. It's defenses are designed around a direct, large-scale assault. A small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense.
RSniper: Pardon me for asking, mate, but what good are snub fighters going to be against that?
REngineer: Well, the Empire doesn't consider a small one-man fighter to be any threat, or they'd have a tighter defense. I didn't build it so it has weakspots. But the approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench shoot this critical hit spot, it's only about five Pixels big. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use Mid-Range weapons.
RSniper: That's impossible! Even for a sniper, mate!
RScout: It's not impossible. I used to bullseye the left eye of CrabHeads back on the hood.
REngineer: Then man your ships. And may the Hats be with you.
—
REngineer: Use the hats Scout.
RScout: What did you say!?
REngineer: Use the hats and let go.
RScout: *changes from Pistol to Scattergun*
RSniper: You changed your weapon, are you feeling well mate?
RMedic: Shoot zhe thing kid and let's go home!
RScout: *sighs and shoots, destroying the Lvl 40 Sentry*
BDemoman: NOOOOOOOOOO!!
IT'S A STICKY BOMB TRAP!
send the scout in first
but what if IT'S A TRAP
I would've put Sniper as Han Solo to be honest.
Farm?
send the thief in first
BDemoman: Soldier never told you about your father.
RScout: He told me enough! He told me ya killed him one-eye freak!
BDemoman: No, Scout. I am your father.
RScout: NOOOOO! NO WAY!
BDemoman: Search your ping. You know it to be true.
BDemoman: Scout… help me take this mask off.
Scout: But you'll die.
BDemoman: Nothing… can stop that now. Just for once… let me… look on you with my *own* eyes.
[Scout removes the mask, as BDemoman turns into a RED Spy, bleeding with a cigarrete on his mouth]
RSpy: Now… go, my son. Leave me.
Scout: No. You're coming with me. I'll not leave you here, I've got to save you.
Spy: You already… have, Scout. You were right. You were right about me. I was never really on their team. Tell the engineer…. you were right.
[Spy slumps down in death]
Scout: Father… MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC!
I kinda prefered NG-D2
*Cut's off hand*
More liek who gets the vagina am i right ah uh
"written by your mother, the Spy"
THE SPY IS A WOMAN!!!
D-D-D-DOUBLE POST
Damn Spies, sappin' mah jokes…
Search the intel briefcase, you know it to be true.
No Scout, I AM your mother!
I'll do it for 50$
Just give me the money and i'll be back in one week with the film, don't worry.
COMING SOON…
2Fort Wars II -- Attack of the Civilians
Anybody else think that they should remake the Star Wars trilogy using Valve characters?
Spy?
I find most things we do on this site disturbing.
Let's get Drew Struzen to make this, but better!!!!!
You, my fine Sir, have won the Internetz
And a +1
"Your overconfidence is your weakness."
"Your faith in your Sentry is yours."
blu demo = red spy = red scout's father. makes sense. you win a +1.
pyro.
What idiot medic ubered a spy?
*Reads papers and family bio*
Holy snap, you're right.
People -1 you.
I don't know why.
so when the spy steps in to appease the public. he will look over the carnage.
turn around.
and say to the masses ofhovering spi fighters
"gentlemen?"
I find your findings disturbing.
oh… woops.
I find you three finding things disturbing disturbing.
*hums star wars tune*
Wait….which one?
People -1 you.
I don't know why.
OHSNAP It's the attack of the clones!
Oh I dunno, some Tophat Kid who thought that he was actually ubering a RED Heavy.
Only forever lasting.
Spy Vader: Engie wan never told you what happened to your mother.
Luke Scoutwalker: He told me enough; he told me you killed her.
SV: No… I FUCKED your mother.
LS: No… No… that's not true…. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
SV: Search your genes, you know it to be true.
I'LL NEVER JOIN YOU!
*Scout fell to a clumsy, painful death*
Tl;dr
Luke: Entire Empire is babies!
Empire searching for rebls in Empire strikes back: Runa and hide cowards, I'm coming for you!
No Sniper(Greedo) shot first it's obvious just watch the videos on youtube
Basically:
Force=Hats
Alert! The Rebels have taken our intelligence!
May the +1s be with you!
Nope. Hats are The Dark Side.
That's Lovely ; Dead Ringer
What sick man sends Jedis to fight me?!
20 seconds to respawn.
But of course! The should remake every single movie with them.
Example: Pulp Fiction with Demoman replacing Samuel L Jackson.
I find your disturbingness disturbing.
Comeing soon 2 a FORT near you….AHHHHH see what I did there :D
RScout: "Dis is a real freakin embarassment. Need a replacement here! Need a replacement here! Need a replacement here! Need a replacement here!"
(GHOST OF REDENGIE APPEARS WITH BIONIC HAND)
"Dagnabbit, cant a guy enjoy the afterlife in peace? Replacement hand goin up!"
"Yo, Engie, you neva told me the Spy was my father!"
(RED ENGIE SUDDENLY LOOKS HORRIFED) "Spah's son sappin mah replacement hand!" (Stars hitting Scout with his wrench)
Disturbedness, you're doing it wrong!
So… "You fight like a girl!" comes into play here?
I was going to make a comment on who is really who based on position in the poster…
But screw it, you trump the truth. +1
IT'S A TRAP!
You forget Han's motto: shoot first, don't worry about the questions.
Wow dude…+1 internet. This took effort.
Demo Calrissian: That wasn't part of the match settings!
Spy Vader: I have altered the match settings; pray I do not alter them further.
my brain hurts, because of the awesomeness. also i got lost a few times, i couldnt remember some characters.
Two words:
EPIC
WIN
Many Noobs died to bring us this intelligence
Well i thought it'd be bad for my points to explain who was who ^^;;
Here's the list though:
Scout -- Luke Skywalker
Medic -- Han Solo
Heavy -- Chewbacca
Soldier -- Obi-Wan Kenobi
Demoman -- Darth Vader [also was going to be emperor palpatine, as in the real Demoman was Palpatine]
Spy -- Anakin Skywalker
Pyro -- StormTroopers
Engineer -- Princess Leia/General Dodonna
Sniper -- Gold Leader/Red 2
Dispenser -- R2D2
Sentry -- C3PO
Use the hacks, Scout!
MY DROIDS! THEY ARE MADE OF STEEL!
No. . . No I didn't.
Dist* HEADSHOT*
You need to send this script to the Almighty One who made "Law-Abiding Engineer".
DO EET NAO!!!
I'm sorry, but did you hear some sort of an odd alien telling us there's a high level of suspicion to be aware of?
Because I didn't.
*Ahem*
Correction: "You fight like a woman!"
Disturbedingnessity!
Am i doing it not wrong now?
"Its a trap!"
Yeah well it's pretty obvious Han wasn't as quick as he usually is with a pistol
I deed I geev j00 a +1 for teh punniness
I geev j00 a +1 to halp you gets monocle status :D
I read all of that in all their voices.
And it was f**king EPIC.
It's 'cause I'm Indian, duh. (Hey there Steam frined.)
Yeah, soz 'bout the DP. My internet was being rather feisty at the time.
I find your use of "j00" and "halp" disturbing.
I find your lack of punctuation disturbing.
This was intentionally supposed to be un-funny please halp me I gots -1 twice
I find your avatar disturbing.
While dueling on Mustafar:
Darth Spy to Sniper-Wan: I was never really on your side.
When Sniper-Wan pwns Darth Spy: You got blood on my Lightsaber, mate.
Darth Spy to Scout during Cloud City duel:
Excellent. Most excellent. Sniper-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your BONK! Now, release your crits. Only your crits can destroy me.
That guy is an alien? looked like a regular old sniper to me…
Maybe I should go look for my flamethrower…
(12 seconds later)"Hey guys I'm back!"
"That was fast. Were was it? and why is your clone lying there around that corner? wait, you have a clone? can I get a clone?"
"uh… look over there" *backstab* "lol newb that was a trap."
"This is not the Intel you are looking for"
I HALPED.
REDEADS ARE HELPFUL PEOPLES.
NOW, WHO WANTS SOME HEALTH DEPLETING, SOUL CRUSHING DRY-HUMPS OF DOOM?
I find the lack of noticing my C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER disturbing.
Two words:
IN
DEEEEED
…no wait.
I think I would've had the pyro be vader, on account of the mask. alternatively, she could be Leia.
*cuts open frozen demoman corpse*
Medic: And I thought demomen smelled bad on the outside… sorry scout but it is to keep you warm.
I give you a +1 for helping me
I find it disturbing that I has not obtained the tophattery rank of 69 yet.
Thank you for helping us help you help us all?
I find it disturbing that you have higher post count than me yet our e-peens have exactly the same level.
gunna halp j00 w1th dat!
+1
[EDIT] Team Fortress 2 is for hats, Halolz is for e-peens. inb4internetisforprawns
Oh noes, you got -1'd TWICE! you need help! (I helped)
Yays, that made my… morning? I can only hopes that me and j00 r43ch 69!
At least you have timezones on your side. I'm late for most of Intense Debating because of time difference.
(around noon here right now…)
I find your lack of making sense disturbing
You guys. You guys. You make me proud, boys.
It was a Portal quote. but yeah… :/
Tagged by troll, you were. Fixed it, I have.
The Phantom Medic
Attack of the Soldiers
Revenge of the Spy
A New Heavy
The Engineer Strikes Back
Return of the Pyro
My suggestion for the tagline? "May the Farce be with you." But that's already taken.
Sniper: It's over, Spy! This high ground adds +5 to my agility!
Spy: HAAAAAAXXXXX!!!!
ok, no i get it, my head still hurts, but now its because i hit it after i fell over.