THE LEGEND OF ZELDA - A DRINK TO THE PAST

I had no idea Link was such a mean drunk!
VenomPB adds: “He can quit any time he wants.”

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on September 24, 2009 · 6:10 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (428 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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Categories:
Bad Ideas, Nintendo, The Legend of Zelda, Wii

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130 Responses to “THE LEGEND OF ZELDA – A DRINK TO THE PAST”

  1. Happy on September 24th, 2009 10:59 am

    FIRST OLOL
    look guys he's drunk!!!1 HIlaRIIUSSS xxxx

    okay I'm sorry I've ruined this forever

  2. Vabolo on September 24th, 2009 11:26 am

    So I stop in the local bar you know people,
    I go to the bar, I ring my coat, I call the bartender
    Said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
    So what you want?

    One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
    Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
    I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
    Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
    need me a triple shot of that juice
    Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
    I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
    One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

  3. Joshy206 on September 24th, 2009 11:29 am

    The Barman:
    "It's dangerous to go sobre, take this!"

  4. TCC on September 24th, 2009 12:34 pm

    Hey buddy, I think you've had enough Chatue Romani for one night pal…
    I'm gunna have to take that ocarina from you…

  5. Leo058 on September 24th, 2009 12:40 pm

    Pfft. They don't serve alcohol in Hyrule. Only milk laced with alcohol (a.k.a. Chateau Romani. The infinite magic was only a drunken hallucination).

  6. maniacs on September 24th, 2009 12:44 pm

    Link: **** you, if you'd seen half the shit I've seen you'd need this more than me.

  7. BlueChameleon on September 24th, 2009 1:04 pm

    Vodka. Gin. Beer. YOU WANT IT? It's yours my friend!
    As long as you have enough self-pity.

  8. Nick Soapdish on September 24th, 2009 1:04 pm

    "Hey Listen! I'll tell you when I've had enough….
    Hey baby, bombs, bottles and weapons aren't the only large thing my pants carries…"

    Next morning when Link wakes up hungover in bed, turns out that Zora he took home is actually a Goron.

  9. Nick Soapdish on September 24th, 2009 1:04 pm

    "Hey Listen! I'll tell you when I've had enough….
    Hey baby, bombs, bottles and weapons aren't the only large thing my pants carries…"

    Next morning when Link wakes up hungover in bed, turns out that Zora he thought he took home is actually a Goron.

  10. Blah on September 24th, 2009 1:14 pm

    Makes Me Think Of Video Game Confessions on TGWTG.com

  11. Link_09 on September 24th, 2009 1:15 pm

    Lluz im scuh a dnurk ass mtheor fcuk.

  12. Aaron Hong on September 24th, 2009 1:31 pm

    "Dammit, Navi, I keep tellin' you to shut up when I'm drinkin'!"
    "Sir, that's the exit sign…"

  13. Badonk on September 24th, 2009 1:55 pm

    Hey Zelda, your clock wont flush!

  14. NoShoe4You on September 24th, 2009 1:59 pm

    The Vodka of Courage to ask someone out, the Roofie of Power (if she says no>_>), and the Tequila of Wisdom to drown the pain down.

    "The Triforce is Complete!"
    -passes out-

  15. VGGeek on September 24th, 2009 2:08 pm

    Sir, I think you've had enough…

    Link: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?!

    …Link?

    NO, I'M KAFEI. I'M LINK, HERO OF TIME!

    Sir, I think you should leave.

    Also, to Leo058: The milk was in Termina and OOT Hyrule. Real alcohol is in Twilight Princess at Telma's Bar.

  16. Daifuku on September 24th, 2009 3:44 pm

    Link: Shaddap, i'm good to drive. I'm not as think as you drunk I am!

    News Anchor: This is what the Hero of Time was alledged to have said before he left the bar that night. Later that night: Epona was found wrapped around a tree. Link was charged with a DUI, public endangerment, and riding a horse backwards down the wrong side of a road. Link then ran away with his pants on his head claiming to be someone named "Pantsman". It is a sa day indeed for Hyrule…

  17. Tenck on September 24th, 2009 4:53 pm

    Link may need to go learn the Song of Sobering next…
    By Falcon does he looked pissed off or what?

  18. Deadalive on September 24th, 2009 5:23 pm

    Some hours later in the next corner:
    "Hey listen! Link! Hey! Listen! Don't barf!…"

  19. MasqueNoMercy on September 24th, 2009 5:42 pm

    thats why whenever he saved a town in the two N64 games they all had the same characters… it wasnt some kind of alternate reality… he was just drunk the whole time!

  20. The Daymoman?! on September 24th, 2009 5:43 pm

    "I'm drunk! You don't have an excuse!"

  21. TheAceOfSkulls on September 24th, 2009 6:14 pm

    "Is there an officer, problem?"
    "I'm not a tipsy, I'm just a bit drunk."
    "I swear to drunk, I'm not God."
    That's all I've got for standard drunk lines, but for Link we've got some good drunk ramblings.

    "When I was a kid, everything was always bright and cartoony… And we were allowed to get away with stabbing a sword though Ganondorf's forehead! Now, you'd be slapped with an M and get banned in Australia for that!"

  22. Deadalive on September 24th, 2009 6:17 pm

    Don't drink & ride!

  23. MexicanJuice on September 24th, 2009 7:21 pm

    FINALLY. A recent submission that's not Kanye-based! Even better, it's actually pretty damn good.

    Link: WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT ME MOTHER?!?!?! Ohhh, right, I have no mother….

  24. Frentzen127 on September 24th, 2009 7:23 pm

    Here's to the past then!

  25. Captain Rehab on September 24th, 2009 7:29 pm

    Officer: This will cost you…

    Link: *Hic* how much?

    Officer: Lets see… One count RUI, public endangerment, drunk in public, drawing a weapon in public, using a fairy as a bow and arrow target…

    2 Hours later…

    and Rape

    Link: *passes out*

  26. Brocken on September 24th, 2009 7:34 pm

    I've saved her ass twenty goddamn times. When's that bitch gonna put out?

  27. Acrazymonke on September 24th, 2009 7:50 pm

    if you were from where i was from youd be !@#$n dead

  28. codemaster525 on September 24th, 2009 8:27 pm

    He should of listen to navi's warnings.

    Also, 69 E-Peen! New Avatar!

  29. lexical on September 24th, 2009 10:22 pm

    Regardless of how much you drink, Tingle cannot be unseen…

  30. Paulrus-Keaton? on September 24th, 2009 7:11 pm

    Cheap absinthe with the extract of Poe Soul mixed in. That shit will fuck you up.

  31. VGGeek on September 25th, 2009 12:06 am

    *humming the Zelda theme, but seriously offbeat*

    Hey, hey get up. Come on pal.

    Link: Buh….wuh? Where am I?

    Listen it's 10 in the morning. We're closed. Go get your girl and get outta here.

    Link: *burp* Girl? *turns, sees over-turned table* Midna…Hey wazzup girly? *falls down*…Wait, you said 10 in the morning! It's the final day! Skull Kid's gonna kill me! *surprised, then serious, holding FD mask* Skull Kid….

    Bartender: Is that guy still rambling on? Get him outta here!

  32. MrRaccoon on September 25th, 2009 12:32 am

    Rescuing… rescuing the princess… I'm so into that shit… i mean… LISTEN TO ME!… I'm not even supossed to talk! D:<

  33. Ataeru on September 25th, 2009 12:39 am

    this is not new, no one sober would ever say YATTT! YAAAUGHT! HAAAA!

  34. AreUExperienced on September 24th, 2009 10:51 pm

    It wouldn't surprise me if Navi's incessant "advice" were somehow responsible for Link's alcoholism.

  35. Daifuku on September 25th, 2009 3:37 am

    is it just me or does it look like Link's pointing at the title text and saying "When did that get there?"

  36. Masterluigi452 on September 25th, 2009 5:47 am

    Please do not let him to drive…
    You drink
    You drive
    You lose!
    http://www.halolz.com/2008/04/06/you-drink-you-dr

  37. meta on September 26th, 2009 5:07 am

    (drunk)you know that blu man group? total ripoff of the smurfs! and you know the smurfs?they suck!

  38. Draken on September 27th, 2009 12:57 pm

    YO LINK I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TANKED AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT SOLID SNAKE WAS THE BEST INTOXICATED HERO OF ALL TIME! OF _ALL_ TIME!

  39. Cleopatra on October 5th, 2009 9:10 am

    And one too many drinks later…

  40. Fission on October 6th, 2009 5:27 am

    IMMA FIRIN MAH VOMIT BLEHHH

  41. Cleopatra on October 9th, 2009 8:16 am

    Link: "Get that camera outta my face!!!!!

  42. ch3m5k077 on November 11th, 2009 9:41 pm

    Alright Link, you not fit to ride Epona home tonight, give me you ocarina.

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