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THE LEGEND OF ZELDA - A DRINK TO THE PAST

I had no idea Link was such a mean drunk!
VenomPB adds: “He can quit any time he wants.”

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THE LEGEND OF ZELDA - A DRINK TO THE PAST

Posted by Shawn Handyside on September 24, 2009 · 6:10 AM

FAIL

LAME

NOT BAD

PRETTY GOOD

AWESOME

(363 votes, average: 4.64 out of 5)

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Categories:
Bad Ideas, Nintendo, The Legend of Zelda, Wii

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3196Comments2009-09-24+10%3A10%3A05Shawn+Handyside to “THE LEGEND OF ZELDA - A DRINK TO THE PAST”

Happy on September 24th, 2009 10:59 am

FIRST OLOL
look guys he's drunk!!!1 HIlaRIIUSSS xxxx

okay I'm sorry I've ruined this forever
Vabolo on September 24th, 2009 11:26 am

So I stop in the local bar you know people,
I go to the bar, I ring my coat, I call the bartender
Said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Vabolo on September 24th, 2009 11:27 am

Won't let me unsee that,life sucks! DX
Joshy206 on September 24th, 2009 11:29 am

The Barman:
"It's dangerous to go sobre, take this!"
TCC on September 24th, 2009 12:34 pm

Hey buddy, I think you've had enough Chatue Romani for one night pal…
I'm gunna have to take that ocarina from you…
Leo058 on September 24th, 2009 12:40 pm

Pfft. They don't serve alcohol in Hyrule. Only milk laced with alcohol (a.k.a. Chateau Romani. The infinite magic was only a drunken hallucination).
maniacs on September 24th, 2009 12:44 pm

Link: **** you, if you'd seen half the shit I've seen you'd need this more than me.
Joshy206 on September 24th, 2009 12:59 pm

What's with all of the Colonel Obvious wannabes? That guy the other day, you… daifuku…
BlueChameleon on September 24th, 2009 1:04 pm

Vodka. Gin. Beer. YOU WANT IT? It's yours my friend!
As long as you have enough self-pity.
Nick Soapdish on September 24th, 2009 1:04 pm

"Hey Listen! I'll tell you when I've had enough….
Hey baby, bombs, bottles and weapons aren't the only large thing my pants carries…"

Next morning when Link wakes up hungover in bed, turns out that Zora he took home is actually a Goron.
Nick Soapdish on September 24th, 2009 1:04 pm

"Hey Listen! I'll tell you when I've had enough….
Hey baby, bombs, bottles and weapons aren't the only large thing my pants carries…"

Next morning when Link wakes up hungover in bed, turns out that Zora he thought he took home is actually a Goron.
TCC on September 24th, 2009 1:07 pm

Daifuku is colonel obvious….
Blah on September 24th, 2009 1:14 pm

Makes Me Think Of Video Game Confessions on TGWTG.com
Link_09 on September 24th, 2009 1:15 pm

Lluz im scuh a dnurk ass mtheor fcuk.
Aaron Hong on September 24th, 2009 1:31 pm

"Dammit, Navi, I keep tellin' you to shut up when I'm drinkin'!"
"Sir, that's the exit sign…"
Badonk on September 24th, 2009 1:55 pm

Hey Zelda, your clock wont flush!
Badonk on September 24th, 2009 1:56 pm

Thats just what he wants you to think… you ever see those two in the same place before???
NoShoe4You on September 24th, 2009 1:59 pm

The Vodka of Courage to ask someone out, the Roofie of Power (if she says no>_>), and the Tequila of Wisdom to drown the pain down.

"The Triforce is Complete!"
-passes out-
Leo058 on September 24th, 2009 2:02 pm

…Yes, now that I think of it.
VGGeek on September 24th, 2009 2:08 pm

Sir, I think you've had enough…

Link: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?!

…Link?

NO, I'M KAFEI. I'M LINK, HERO OF TIME!

Sir, I think you should leave.

Also, to Leo058: The milk was in Termina and OOT Hyrule. Real alcohol is in Twilight Princess at Telma's Bar.
Badonk on September 24th, 2009 2:10 pm

it's a secret to everybody.
MasqueNoMercy on September 24th, 2009 2:11 pm

LINK : "hey, you shat up! you know who i m? mother fkin link motha fuzer! ive safed hyrule like a million times from ganondork!
… what?
… i killed him! every shingle time! i even staped him in the head when i was a kid, back when there werrznt so many colors
… i dunno? some kindsa dragon ball wishy bullsht? he comes back, i shtab him in the head, navi or bell or tingle just tell me what to do ans i do it!
… hey! dont make me play my mocarana and go bacck in time and make you not born! i WILL kill a baby! cause im Link!"
BARTENDER: "That's still the exit sign sir"
Badonk on September 24th, 2009 2:13 pm

its a conspiracy of the highest order… well to be safe we should just kill both of them.
Dai, Colonel, any last words?
*charges meme lazer*
Daifuku on September 24th, 2009 3:22 pm

Yes, i have a last word. THIS!!!
*pulls the plug on meme lazer*
Daifuku on September 24th, 2009 3:23 pm

umm…I don't have to try to be the Colonel. I AM him :P
Badonk on September 24th, 2009 3:32 pm

no! don't pull that out its the nuclear reacto *mushroom cloud*
Badonk on September 24th, 2009 3:32 pm

riiiiight… and im Soapdish
Daifuku on September 24th, 2009 3:37 pm

Don't worry, the reactor said Candlejack before exploding. it was taken awa before it explo
Daifuku on September 24th, 2009 3:37 pm

Don't worry, the reactor said Candlejack before exploding. it was taken away before it explo
Daifuku on September 24th, 2009 3:38 pm

Orly? I am the WALRUS!!!
Daifuku on September 24th, 2009 3:44 pm

Link: Shaddap, i'm good to drive. I'm not as think as you drunk I am!

News Anchor: This is what the Hero of Time was alledged to have said before he left the bar that night. Later that night: Epona was found wrapped around a tree. Link was charged with a DUI, public endangerment, and riding a horse backwards down the wrong side of a road. Link then ran away with his pants on his head claiming to be someone named "Pantsman". It is a sa day indeed for Hyrule…
TCC on September 24th, 2009 3:56 pm

koo koo katchoo! :P
meinmattias on September 24th, 2009 3:59 pm

Who wants to play 'Drink the Beer'?
TCC on September 24th, 2009 4:00 pm

Thats impossible! everyone knows once he ingests alchohol Pantsman becomes Peter Pantsless! :O
Daifuku on September 24th, 2009 4:03 pm

Lesson #1 of Drinking: NEVER mix our liquer and beer! you'll end up seeing it again later that night.
Daifuku on September 24th, 2009 4:03 pm

….better that than a DODONGO!!!
Tenck on September 24th, 2009 4:53 pm

Link may need to go learn the Song of Sobering next…
By Falcon does he looked pissed off or what?
ReNaVisum on September 24th, 2009 4:55 pm

It's more impossible because Link doesn't wear pants…..
Deadalive on September 24th, 2009 5:23 pm

Some hours later in the next corner:
"Hey listen! Link! Hey! Listen! Don't barf!…"
Badonk on September 24th, 2009 5:33 pm

Oh i do! *drinks it down* what do I win!
Badonk on September 24th, 2009 5:33 pm

Frilly white tights count as pants
MasqueNoMercy on September 24th, 2009 5:42 pm

thats why whenever he saved a town in the two N64 games they all had the same characters… it wasnt some kind of alternate reality… he was just drunk the whole time!
The Daymoman?! on September 24th, 2009 5:43 pm

"I'm drunk! You don't have an excuse!"
MasqueNoMercy on September 24th, 2009 5:44 pm

mushroom cloud… that means we will all grow like mario if we breath it in!
Kage on September 24th, 2009 6:11 pm

Another beer!
TheAceOfSkulls on September 24th, 2009 6:14 pm

"Is there an officer, problem?"
"I'm not a tipsy, I'm just a bit drunk."
"I swear to drunk, I'm not God."
That's all I've got for standard drunk lines, but for Link we've got some good drunk ramblings.

"When I was a kid, everything was always bright and cartoony… And we were allowed to get away with stabbing a sword though Ganondorf's forehead! Now, you'd be slapped with an M and get banned in Australia for that!"
Deadalive on September 24th, 2009 6:17 pm

Don't drink & ride!
EddRazzell on September 24th, 2009 6:25 pm

WIN!
EddRazzell on September 24th, 2009 6:28 pm

meanwhile, the rest of us commenters with <70 e-peen all die…

*splode*
Paulrus-Keaton? on September 24th, 2009 7:11 pm

Cheap absinthe with the extract of Poe Soul mixed in. That shit will fuck you up.
MexicanJuice on September 24th, 2009 7:21 pm

FINALLY. A recent submission that's not Kanye-based! Even better, it's actually pretty damn good.

Link: WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT ME MOTHER?!?!?! Ohhh, right, I have no mother….
Frentzen127 on September 24th, 2009 7:23 pm

Here's to the past then!
Captain Rehab on September 24th, 2009 7:29 pm

Officer: This will cost you…

Link: *Hic* how much?

Officer: Lets see… One count RUI, public endangerment, drunk in public, drawing a weapon in public, using a fairy as a bow and arrow target…

2 Hours later…

and Rape

Link: *passes out*
Brocken on September 24th, 2009 7:34 pm

I've saved her ass twenty goddamn times. When's that bitch gonna put out?
Acrazymonke on September 24th, 2009 7:48 pm

NOO i was so close
Acrazymonke on September 24th, 2009 7:50 pm

if you were from where i was from youd be !@#$n dead
CapnJakeBob on September 24th, 2009 8:14 pm

Ah, sweet, I'm going for the high score!
codemaster525 on September 24th, 2009 8:27 pm

He should of listen to navi's warnings.

Also, 69 E-Peen! New Avatar!
Badonk on September 24th, 2009 8:43 pm

oh hey look i got minus trolled again :D joy!
CapnJakeBob on September 24th, 2009 8:57 pm

How uncouth!
BurnoutSpartan on September 24th, 2009 9:01 pm

Indeed, what ruffian shall do such a bollocks thing?
CapnJakeBob on September 24th, 2009 9:04 pm

Well, not I, as I only down-vote things I believe are truly crap.
BurnoutSpartan on September 24th, 2009 9:04 pm

Thats not what they told me at work!
BurnoutSpartan on September 24th, 2009 9:08 pm

"Shut up!"
*drunken bitchslap*
"I'll stab you with ma Mastewub…my Munster Swer-I'LL CUT YOU UP!"
lexical on September 24th, 2009 10:22 pm

Regardless of how much you drink, Tingle cannot be unseen…
AreUExperienced on September 24th, 2009 10:51 pm

It wouldn't surprise me if Navi's incessant "advice" were somehow responsible for Link's alcoholism.
Link_09 on September 24th, 2009 11:59 pm

I get it all the time/..
VGGeek on September 25th, 2009 12:06 am

*humming the Zelda theme, but seriously offbeat*

Hey, hey get up. Come on pal.

Link: Buh….wuh? Where am I?

Listen it's 10 in the morning. We're closed. Go get your girl and get outta here.

Link: *burp* Girl? *turns, sees over-turned table* Midna…Hey wazzup girly? *falls down*…Wait, you said 10 in the morning! It's the final day! Skull Kid's gonna kill me! *surprised, then serious, holding FD mask* Skull Kid….

Bartender: Is that guy still rambling on? Get him outta here!
Badonk on September 25th, 2009 12:08 am

plus to you then good sir
MrRaccoon on September 25th, 2009 12:29 am

I got them too, until I used my weegee diguise, them they stoped coming! :D
+1 stopped too, it's a razorblade =P
MrRaccoon on September 25th, 2009 12:31 am

Uncle! He's dead!…
Wait, he's just drunk
MrRaccoon on September 25th, 2009 12:32 am

Rescuing… rescuing the princess… I'm so into that shit… i mean… LISTEN TO ME!… I'm not even supossed to talk! D:<
Leo058 on September 25th, 2009 12:38 am

4 Swords Misadventures reference? AWESOME.
Ataeru on September 25th, 2009 12:39 am

this is not new, no one sober would ever say YATTT! YAAAUGHT! HAAAA!
TCC on September 25th, 2009 12:42 am

indeed, the weegee disquise is truely a double edged sword… -.-
MrRaccoon on September 25th, 2009 1:05 am

Dark link: well… what do we do now?
Dark link clone: I know! Let's riot!
All clones: YES! RIOT! RIOT! RIOT!

All your Hirule are belong to us
GameboyPATH on September 25th, 2009 1:14 am

George Therogood and the Destroyers of Time.
Leo058 on September 25th, 2009 1:16 am

I think Telma was trying to slip Link a roofie. She clearly wanted to get into his pants.
Dark Wolf on September 25th, 2009 2:22 am

Spongebob geek..
You got that from the movie didn't you?Nerd.. Although it fits pretty well actually and I really do c wut u did thar.
Vabolo on September 25th, 2009 2:27 am

…Like the Master Sword, you should try using it by the handle next time.
Vabolo on September 25th, 2009 2:31 am

After a few more beers, " I am the great Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!"
Vabolo on September 25th, 2009 2:32 am

And that that Goron is the one whom particularly likes Saria's Song….
Vabolo on September 25th, 2009 2:35 am

I buried Paul!
Daifuku on September 25th, 2009 3:29 am

Actually, it's only Vodka coolers.
Daifuku on September 25th, 2009 3:37 am

is it just me or does it look like Link's pointing at the title text and saying "When did that get there?"
Joshy206 on September 25th, 2009 3:40 am

I know that :P

Wow, nobody got the joke xD
Joshy206 on September 25th, 2009 3:40 am

I know that :P

Wow, nobody got the joke xD
Daifuku on September 25th, 2009 3:40 am

Well nice of you to tell me that AFTER I grab it D:<
MEDIC!!!
Acrazymonke on September 25th, 2009 5:40 am

ill give you …
MY BIG GAY DANCE
Acrazymonke on September 25th, 2009 5:41 am

who???
Masterluigi452 on September 25th, 2009 5:42 am

Grats!
Let's see if you can manage to reach 100 though…
Masterluigi452 on September 25th, 2009 5:47 am

Please do not let him to drive…
You drink
You drive
You lose!
http://www.halolz.com/2008/04/06/you-drink-you-dr…
TCC on September 25th, 2009 5:57 am

wha?? who??… I'm confused… o.o
Daifuku on September 25th, 2009 6:31 am

In other news, penis. How do you feel on this TCC?
Daifuku on September 25th, 2009 6:32 am

Bow chika wow wow ;D
Daifuku on September 25th, 2009 6:34 am

Until she opened Links pants and found an entire family of Deku immigrants in them.
Happy on September 25th, 2009 8:49 am

Oh whoops, wasn't intending a 'Colonel Obvious.' More like… 'troll.' Then I regretted it.
BurnoutSpartan on September 25th, 2009 12:51 pm

I agree
*sip incredibly expensive wine and smoke pipe*
CapnJakeBob on September 25th, 2009 12:53 pm

In fact, the mere sight of a vote-down spree makes my monocle fall into my tea.
Zack on September 26th, 2009 4:51 am

SPONGELINK? D:
meta on September 26th, 2009 5:07 am

(drunk)you know that blu man group? total ripoff of the smurfs! and you know the smurfs?they suck!
Masterluigi452 on September 26th, 2009 4:55 pm

Wait…
You don't have a disguise of me…
Badonk have it!
Not you!
Badonk on September 26th, 2009 6:39 pm

and the occasional bitter rum
Draken on September 27th, 2009 12:57 pm

YO LINK I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TANKED AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT SOLID SNAKE WAS THE BEST INTOXICATED HERO OF ALL TIME! OF _ALL_ TIME!
Badonk on September 28th, 2009 8:01 pm

*Zelda jingle*
Badonk on September 28th, 2009 8:03 pm

Stop propsitioning the cookie for a minute Dai, we have to kill the troll!
Badonk on September 28th, 2009 8:03 pm

and a flash drive consisting of 12 gigs of fairy porn
Badonk on September 28th, 2009 8:04 pm

huzzah congrats!
Badonk on September 28th, 2009 8:05 pm

GAME OVER!
Badonk on September 28th, 2009 8:06 pm

you mean Dongdongo
Badonk on September 28th, 2009 8:06 pm

Translated from: Hyah ha! TA!!!
Badonk on September 28th, 2009 8:06 pm

Translated from: Hyah ha! TA!!!
Badonk on September 28th, 2009 8:07 pm

BONK!
MrRaccoon on September 28th, 2009 8:29 pm

"You're a bunghole… and so am I… there'll be more bungholes after me"
MrRaccoon on September 28th, 2009 8:34 pm

Welcome to the club of mude heroes!
Our president Chrono welcomes you! Lets have a meeting with our members!
Chrono: …
Link: …
Gordon Freeman: …
Chrono: …!
*golf clap*
Badonk on September 29th, 2009 4:52 am

Add the Rookie from ODST
Daifuku on September 29th, 2009 7:39 am

I got an SD card with 32 gigs……>_>
Daifuku on September 29th, 2009 7:40 am

Same thing
Daifuku on September 29th, 2009 7:41 am

And Red, Blue, Gold, Silver, Platnum, Diamond, and Pearl. (pokemon trainers)
Daifuku on September 29th, 2009 7:43 am

MAJOR LEAGUE!!!
Daifuku on September 29th, 2009 1:47 pm

Hmm….An interesting point. TCC, your rebuttal?

And for the troll, I propose fire. It has never failed me before :3

Edit: Guys, i think i found the troll.
http://intensedebate.com/people/SupremoTron
Daifuku on September 29th, 2009 4:47 pm

Chrono does actually say teo lines in Crono Trigger. It's just in a secret ending ._.
Daifuku on September 29th, 2009 4:47 pm

Chrono does actually say two lines in Crono Trigger. It's just in a secret ending ._.
Cleopatra on October 5th, 2009 9:10 am

And one too many drinks later…
Fission on October 6th, 2009 5:27 am

IMMA FIRIN MAH VOMIT BLEHHH
Cleopatra on October 9th, 2009 8:16 am

Link: "Get that camera outta my face!!!!!
Dracojounin7 on November 3rd, 2009 1:35 am

And your country estate?
ch3m5k077 on November 11th, 2009 9:41 pm

Alright Link, you not fit to ride Epona home tonight, give me you ocarina.
ch3m5k077 on November 11th, 2009 9:44 pm

Navi:HE LISTEN!HEY LISTEN! HEY LISTEN!
Link: God Dammit navi SHUT UP, your as annoying as Kepora Gebora *Downs another bottle of scotch*
luigiforVP on November 16th, 2009 9:31 am

oh my god…you're right! it totaly does!

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