
I had no idea Link was such a mean drunk!
VenomPB adds: “He can quit any time he wants.”
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Categories: Bad Ideas, Nintendo, The Legend of Zelda, Wii · Leave a comment (130 Comments) |
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(378 votes, average: 4.65 out of 5)






Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
FIRST OLOL
look guys he's drunk!!!1 HIlaRIIUSSS xxxx
okay I'm sorry I've ruined this forever
So I stop in the local bar you know people,
I go to the bar, I ring my coat, I call the bartender
Said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want?
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Won't let me unsee that,life sucks! DX
The Barman:
"It's dangerous to go sobre, take this!"
Hey buddy, I think you've had enough Chatue Romani for one night pal…
I'm gunna have to take that ocarina from you…
Pfft. They don't serve alcohol in Hyrule. Only milk laced with alcohol (a.k.a. Chateau Romani. The infinite magic was only a drunken hallucination).
Link: **** you, if you'd seen half the shit I've seen you'd need this more than me.
What's with all of the Colonel Obvious wannabes? That guy the other day, you… daifuku…
Vodka. Gin. Beer. YOU WANT IT? It's yours my friend!
As long as you have enough self-pity.
"Hey Listen! I'll tell you when I've had enough….
Hey baby, bombs, bottles and weapons aren't the only large thing my pants carries…"
Next morning when Link wakes up hungover in bed, turns out that Zora he took home is actually a Goron.
"Hey Listen! I'll tell you when I've had enough….
Hey baby, bombs, bottles and weapons aren't the only large thing my pants carries…"
Next morning when Link wakes up hungover in bed, turns out that Zora he thought he took home is actually a Goron.
Daifuku is colonel obvious….
Makes Me Think Of Video Game Confessions on TGWTG.com
Lluz im scuh a dnurk ass mtheor fcuk.
"Dammit, Navi, I keep tellin' you to shut up when I'm drinkin'!"
"Sir, that's the exit sign…"
Hey Zelda, your clock wont flush!
Thats just what he wants you to think… you ever see those two in the same place before???
The Vodka of Courage to ask someone out, the Roofie of Power (if she says no>_>), and the Tequila of Wisdom to drown the pain down.
"The Triforce is Complete!"
-passes out-
…Yes, now that I think of it.
Sir, I think you've had enough…
Link: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?!
…Link?
NO, I'M KAFEI. I'M LINK, HERO OF TIME!
Sir, I think you should leave.
Also, to Leo058: The milk was in Termina and OOT Hyrule. Real alcohol is in Twilight Princess at Telma's Bar.
it's a secret to everybody.
LINK : "hey, you shat up! you know who i m? mother fkin link motha fuzer! ive safed hyrule like a million times from ganondork!
… what?
… i killed him! every shingle time! i even staped him in the head when i was a kid, back when there werrznt so many colors
… i dunno? some kindsa dragon ball wishy bullsht? he comes back, i shtab him in the head, navi or bell or tingle just tell me what to do ans i do it!
… hey! dont make me play my mocarana and go bacck in time and make you not born! i WILL kill a baby! cause im Link!"
BARTENDER: "That's still the exit sign sir"
its a conspiracy of the highest order… well to be safe we should just kill both of them.
Dai, Colonel, any last words?
*charges meme lazer*
Yes, i have a last word. THIS!!!
*pulls the plug on meme lazer*
umm…I don't have to try to be the Colonel. I AM him :P
no! don't pull that out its the nuclear reacto *mushroom cloud*
riiiiight… and im Soapdish
Don't worry, the reactor said Candlejack before exploding. it was taken awa before it explo
Don't worry, the reactor said Candlejack before exploding. it was taken away before it explo
Orly? I am the WALRUS!!!
Link: Shaddap, i'm good to drive. I'm not as think as you drunk I am!
News Anchor: This is what the Hero of Time was alledged to have said before he left the bar that night. Later that night: Epona was found wrapped around a tree. Link was charged with a DUI, public endangerment, and riding a horse backwards down the wrong side of a road. Link then ran away with his pants on his head claiming to be someone named "Pantsman". It is a sa day indeed for Hyrule…
koo koo katchoo! :P
Who wants to play 'Drink the Beer'?
Thats impossible! everyone knows once he ingests alchohol Pantsman becomes Peter Pantsless! :O
Lesson #1 of Drinking: NEVER mix our liquer and beer! you'll end up seeing it again later that night.
….better that than a DODONGO!!!
Link may need to go learn the Song of Sobering next…
By Falcon does he looked pissed off or what?
It's more impossible because Link doesn't wear pants…..
Some hours later in the next corner:
"Hey listen! Link! Hey! Listen! Don't barf!…"
Oh i do! *drinks it down* what do I win!
Frilly white tights count as pants
thats why whenever he saved a town in the two N64 games they all had the same characters… it wasnt some kind of alternate reality… he was just drunk the whole time!
"I'm drunk! You don't have an excuse!"
mushroom cloud… that means we will all grow like mario if we breath it in!
Another beer!
"Is there an officer, problem?"
"I'm not a tipsy, I'm just a bit drunk."
"I swear to drunk, I'm not God."
That's all I've got for standard drunk lines, but for Link we've got some good drunk ramblings.
"When I was a kid, everything was always bright and cartoony… And we were allowed to get away with stabbing a sword though Ganondorf's forehead! Now, you'd be slapped with an M and get banned in Australia for that!"
Don't drink & ride!
WIN!
meanwhile, the rest of us commenters with <70 e-peen all die…
*splode*
FINALLY. A recent submission that's not Kanye-based! Even better, it's actually pretty damn good.
Link: WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT ME MOTHER?!?!?! Ohhh, right, I have no mother….
Here's to the past then!
Officer: This will cost you…
Link: *Hic* how much?
Officer: Lets see… One count RUI, public endangerment, drunk in public, drawing a weapon in public, using a fairy as a bow and arrow target…
2 Hours later…
and Rape
Link: *passes out*
I've saved her ass twenty goddamn times. When's that bitch gonna put out?
NOO i was so close
if you were from where i was from youd be !@#$n dead
Ah, sweet, I'm going for the high score!
He should of listen to navi's warnings.
Also, 69 E-Peen! New Avatar!
oh hey look i got minus trolled again :D joy!
How uncouth!
Indeed, what ruffian shall do such a bollocks thing?
Well, not I, as I only down-vote things I believe are truly crap.
Thats not what they told me at work!
"Shut up!"
*drunken bitchslap*
"I'll stab you with ma Mastewub…my Munster Swer-I'LL CUT YOU UP!"
Regardless of how much you drink, Tingle cannot be unseen…
Cheap absinthe with the extract of Poe Soul mixed in. That shit will fuck you up.
I get it all the time/..
*humming the Zelda theme, but seriously offbeat*
Hey, hey get up. Come on pal.
Link: Buh….wuh? Where am I?
Listen it's 10 in the morning. We're closed. Go get your girl and get outta here.
Link: *burp* Girl? *turns, sees over-turned table* Midna…Hey wazzup girly? *falls down*…Wait, you said 10 in the morning! It's the final day! Skull Kid's gonna kill me! *surprised, then serious, holding FD mask* Skull Kid….
Bartender: Is that guy still rambling on? Get him outta here!
plus to you then good sir
I got them too, until I used my weegee diguise, them they stoped coming! :D
+1 stopped too, it's a razorblade =P
Uncle! He's dead!…
Wait, he's just drunk
Rescuing… rescuing the princess… I'm so into that shit… i mean… LISTEN TO ME!… I'm not even supossed to talk! D:<
4 Swords Misadventures reference? AWESOME.
this is not new, no one sober would ever say YATTT! YAAAUGHT! HAAAA!
indeed, the weegee disquise is truely a double edged sword… -.-
Dark link: well… what do we do now?
Dark link clone: I know! Let's riot!
All clones: YES! RIOT! RIOT! RIOT!
All your Hirule are belong to us
George Therogood and the Destroyers of Time.
I think Telma was trying to slip Link a roofie. She clearly wanted to get into his pants.
Spongebob geek..
You got that from the movie didn't you?Nerd.. Although it fits pretty well actually and I really do c wut u did thar.
…Like the Master Sword, you should try using it by the handle next time.
After a few more beers, " I am the great Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole!"
And that that Goron is the one whom particularly likes Saria's Song….
I buried Paul!
It wouldn't surprise me if Navi's incessant "advice" were somehow responsible for Link's alcoholism.
Actually, it's only Vodka coolers.
is it just me or does it look like Link's pointing at the title text and saying "When did that get there?"
I know that :P
Wow, nobody got the joke xD
I know that :P
Wow, nobody got the joke xD
Well nice of you to tell me that AFTER I grab it D:<
MEDIC!!!
ill give you …
MY BIG GAY DANCE
who???
Grats!
Let's see if you can manage to reach 100 though…
Please do not let him to drive…
You drink
You drive
You lose!
http://www.halolz.com/2008/04/06/you-drink-you-dr...
wha?? who??… I'm confused… o.o
In other news, penis. How do you feel on this TCC?
Bow chika wow wow ;D
Until she opened Links pants and found an entire family of Deku immigrants in them.
Oh whoops, wasn't intending a 'Colonel Obvious.' More like… 'troll.' Then I regretted it.
I agree
*sip incredibly expensive wine and smoke pipe*
In fact, the mere sight of a vote-down spree makes my monocle fall into my tea.
SPONGELINK? D:
(drunk)you know that blu man group? total ripoff of the smurfs! and you know the smurfs?they suck!
Wait…
You don't have a disguise of me…
Badonk have it!
Not you!
and the occasional bitter rum
YO LINK I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TANKED AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT SOLID SNAKE WAS THE BEST INTOXICATED HERO OF ALL TIME! OF _ALL_ TIME!
*Zelda jingle*
Stop propsitioning the cookie for a minute Dai, we have to kill the troll!
and a flash drive consisting of 12 gigs of fairy porn
huzzah congrats!
GAME OVER!
you mean Dongdongo
Translated from: Hyah ha! TA!!!
Translated from: Hyah ha! TA!!!
BONK!
"You're a bunghole… and so am I… there'll be more bungholes after me"
Welcome to the club of mude heroes!
Our president Chrono welcomes you! Lets have a meeting with our members!
Chrono: …
Link: …
Gordon Freeman: …
Chrono: …!
*golf clap*
Add the Rookie from ODST
I got an SD card with 32 gigs……>_>
Same thing
And Red, Blue, Gold, Silver, Platnum, Diamond, and Pearl. (pokemon trainers)
MAJOR LEAGUE!!!
Chrono does actually say teo lines in Crono Trigger. It's just in a secret ending ._.
Chrono does actually say two lines in Crono Trigger. It's just in a secret ending ._.
Hmm….An interesting point. TCC, your rebuttal?
And for the troll, I propose fire. It has never failed me before :3
Edit: Guys, i think i found the troll.
http://intensedebate.com/people/SupremoTron
And one too many drinks later…
IMMA FIRIN MAH VOMIT BLEHHH
Link: "Get that camera outta my face!!!!!
And your country estate?
Alright Link, you not fit to ride Epona home tonight, give me you ocarina.
Navi:HE LISTEN!HEY LISTEN! HEY LISTEN!
Link: God Dammit navi SHUT UP, your as annoying as Kepora Gebora *Downs another bottle of scotch*
oh my god…you're right! it totaly does!